Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 66 "Football Chapter 36 part 1"A mother faces life's struggles.
31 total reviews
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Captivating. Intense conversation is enthralling. I like where this is going. How much longer until you wrap it up?
Sugg omit the bit about paying off doctors so as not to prescribe birth control. It doesn't wash. She could get OTC or go to another doctor.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
  |
Captivating. Intense conversation is enthralling. I like where this is going. How much longer until you wrap it up?
Sugg omit the bit about paying off doctors so as not to prescribe birth control. It doesn't wash. She could get OTC or go to another doctor.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
-
Not the way insurance is set up. I will think about it. I have actually known men to controlled this.
-
No doubt, but aren't condoms and spermicides available for purchase?
-
She wouldn't know when he's coming home and he wouldn't wear a condom. His purpose for having sex with her was to get her pregnant. As for the spermicide he wouldn't allow her to use it.
-
I get that. I mean using a condom with another man to prevent pregnancy if she wanted to cheat on George.
-
LOL Katherine didn't want to take the chance. That's not who she is.
-
I get that--I mean George would have to be clueless if he thought keeping her from getting the pill will ensure she won't cheat.
Comment from Sankey
This did not feel large reading at all. It really got us in, all of us, I am sure. Keep up the good work and I look forward to the next chapter. Hope your wrist is doing ok. No spags.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
 |
This did not feel large reading at all. It really got us in, all of us, I am sure. Keep up the good work and I look forward to the next chapter. Hope your wrist is doing ok. No spags.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Anne Johnston
Another well-written chapter. I like the fact that this couple can discuss things and that they both are willing to apologize for their mistakes, and to forgive one another quickly. Merry Christmas
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
|
Another well-written chapter. I like the fact that this couple can discuss things and that they both are willing to apologize for their mistakes, and to forgive one another quickly. Merry Christmas
Comment Written 19-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
-
Thank you for the understanding.
-
You are welcome
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is a lovely chapter of new revelations, Barbara, as Katherine and Gabriel open up to each other about their pasts. It helps us see better what makes them tick. Well done.
One little typo: "Yes, Sir. I can't do(go) into details, but the situation has been handled."
Merry Christmas to you too!
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
|
This is a lovely chapter of new revelations, Barbara, as Katherine and Gabriel open up to each other about their pasts. It helps us see better what makes them tick. Well done.
One little typo: "Yes, Sir. I can't do(go) into details, but the situation has been handled."
Merry Christmas to you too!
Comment Written 19-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
-
Thank you do the catch. I appreciate the help.
-
You're welcome, Barbara
Comment from bhogg
I really like how you let your stories just unfold! This one was a pleasure to read. As always, the pace was excellent. Sort of reads like things might be coming to closure. Merry X-mas to you and yours.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
|
I really like how you let your stories just unfold! This one was a pleasure to read. As always, the pace was excellent. Sort of reads like things might be coming to closure. Merry X-mas to you and yours.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, this was a great continuation to the story. More is revealed about Kate's past and what we learn is not all that good. Great writing. I just found one thing:
I can't do into details, but the situation has been handled." = I can't go into details, ...
A Merry Christmas to you and yours as well. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
|
Hi Barbara, this was a great continuation to the story. More is revealed about Kate's past and what we learn is not all that good. Great writing. I just found one thing:
I can't do into details, but the situation has been handled." = I can't go into details, ...
A Merry Christmas to you and yours as well. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 19-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
-
I have made that correction. Thank you for the kind reveiw.
Comment from prettybluebirds
I thought this chapter was about the right length. I watched closely but didn't spot any errors. the dialogue is great and keep the story flowing in a nice manner.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
|
I thought this chapter was about the right length. I watched closely but didn't spot any errors. the dialogue is great and keep the story flowing in a nice manner.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
-
Thank you for the kind review and dropping by.
Comment from Frank Malley
I realize you have put a lot of work into this novel. I struggle to keep track of who's who, and I think creating larger and descriptive blocks of text along with dialogue would help your readers to assimilate the story. Many authors will choose to devote a whole chapter to an interaction that occurs between two or three characters, using this space to build them into memorable persons. And then, of course, it becomes necessary to some central thread or threads of the bigger plot moving forward, having characters and groups encounter problems and run into outcomes that provide complications that enrich and connect to the central theme or themes in your novel. Best of luck, and have a great holiday.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
 |
I realize you have put a lot of work into this novel. I struggle to keep track of who's who, and I think creating larger and descriptive blocks of text along with dialogue would help your readers to assimilate the story. Many authors will choose to devote a whole chapter to an interaction that occurs between two or three characters, using this space to build them into memorable persons. And then, of course, it becomes necessary to some central thread or threads of the bigger plot moving forward, having characters and groups encounter problems and run into outcomes that provide complications that enrich and connect to the central theme or themes in your novel. Best of luck, and have a great holiday.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
-
Thank you. I'm curious do you write 90,000 work novels?
-
I have written a novel in the neighborhood of 90,000 words. I think you have an implicit criticism buried in your question; perhaps my evaluation of your novel is inaccurate.
-
Please read my other reviews.
-
I am sorry that my review stung you, and I read the numerous appreciations that people who read your stories gave you. It's hard to strike a good compromise when a review one writes finds weaknesses. However, there should be good will, and I regret if I failed to include it. I could write ten times as many reviews as I do if I just applauded stories. I think literature is an art, and that the standards for excellence and exceptionality require more than niceness, which would be much easier to do. I am sensitive to criticisms, and I by no means always agree with them.
-
I have no problems taking criticism. I felt your review was unfair because you have not followed me from the beginning. I do have certain reviewers who do criticize my writing and I appreciate their help. Yours did not make any sense to me. This novel is complete. It's 101,000 words. There's absolutely no way I can devote a chapter to interaction between a few characters. I have to move the novel forward while developing the characters and the plot.
Comment from nomi338
I am so pleased with the direction this story is going in. The relationship between Katherine and Gabriel in many ways mirror the relationship my wife and I enjoyed in the beginning as well as throughout the following years. We have been happily married for nearly 48 years without a bump in our relationship.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
|
I am so pleased with the direction this story is going in. The relationship between Katherine and Gabriel in many ways mirror the relationship my wife and I enjoyed in the beginning as well as throughout the following years. We have been happily married for nearly 48 years without a bump in our relationship.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
-
Thank you for the encouragement and congratulations!!!
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Excellent story my friend and I
loved the imagery and the characters and the way the characters interacted perfectly together and the storyline is interesting and held my attention;-)
Thank you for sharing and may God bless you and your family;-)
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
|
Excellent story my friend and I
loved the imagery and the characters and the way the characters interacted perfectly together and the storyline is interesting and held my attention;-)
Thank you for sharing and may God bless you and your family;-)
Comment Written 19-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
-
Thank you for the kind review.