Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 65 "Football Chapter 35 part 1"A mother faces life's struggles.
29 total reviews
Comment from Gert sherwood
Barb, I wonder if Katherine saw how much Gabriel shows that he knows how to make the boy happy, so the little boy could see when Gabriel; Smiled down on the little boy,
Gabriel said, "I have a better idea." He lifted him up and set him on his shoulders. "Can you see now?"
I had to smile when there was a cat fight between the two racers.
Gert
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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Barb, I wonder if Katherine saw how much Gabriel shows that he knows how to make the boy happy, so the little boy could see when Gabriel; Smiled down on the little boy,
Gabriel said, "I have a better idea." He lifted him up and set him on his shoulders. "Can you see now?"
I had to smile when there was a cat fight between the two racers.
Gert
Comment Written 12-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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Thank you for the kind review and support.
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You are most welcome
Gert
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You are most welcome Barb
Gert
Comment from tfawcus
There's a lot going on in this chapter. I liked the foreshadowing in the suggestion that there might be a tie-up between Milton and the in-laws.
The marital abuse revelation at the end does much to explain Katherine's cautious approach to Gabriel. However, it seems that he's really set her mind at rest now with his continual support both for her and for the family.
A couple of small suggestions. In this section, you might consider reducing the repetition of matched each other's steps:
Rhonda and another girl rounded the corner and matched each other's steps.
Katherine ran back to Rhonda and ran beside her. "You got this. Match my steps." She broke into song.
Rhonda kept up, but so did the other runner. Katherine sped up. "Come on, you can do it. Just a few more feet. We got this."
Rhonda matched Katherine's steps. The other runner fell behind.
also
"No one on my team would intentionally elbow or trip another runner. Your team started (the) trouble."
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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There's a lot going on in this chapter. I liked the foreshadowing in the suggestion that there might be a tie-up between Milton and the in-laws.
The marital abuse revelation at the end does much to explain Katherine's cautious approach to Gabriel. However, it seems that he's really set her mind at rest now with his continual support both for her and for the family.
A couple of small suggestions. In this section, you might consider reducing the repetition of matched each other's steps:
Rhonda and another girl rounded the corner and matched each other's steps.
Katherine ran back to Rhonda and ran beside her. "You got this. Match my steps." She broke into song.
Rhonda kept up, but so did the other runner. Katherine sped up. "Come on, you can do it. Just a few more feet. We got this."
Rhonda matched Katherine's steps. The other runner fell behind.
also
"No one on my team would intentionally elbow or trip another runner. Your team started (the) trouble."
Comment Written 12-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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Thank you for the kind review and support. I've made the corrections.
Comment from royowen
Mmmh! So much trouble between the girls on the track, that's quite nasty, and quite dangerous, bad habits need to be erased from all sport. But I'm sure Gabriel with sort this out, I guess girls can have their problems like guys. It seems that the parents of Katherine's deceased husband may stop at nothing to get at the boy's trust fund, beautifully written Barbara, blessings Roy .
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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2021
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Mmmh! So much trouble between the girls on the track, that's quite nasty, and quite dangerous, bad habits need to be erased from all sport. But I'm sure Gabriel with sort this out, I guess girls can have their problems like guys. It seems that the parents of Katherine's deceased husband may stop at nothing to get at the boy's trust fund, beautifully written Barbara, blessings Roy .
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Comment Written 12-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2021
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I'm sure they won't. Thank you for the kind review.
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Well done
Comment from Anne Johnston
Another great chapter in your book. You are very good at writing dialogue to keep the story flowing. Each week, I look forward to reading it, wondering just what is going to happen next.
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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2021
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Another great chapter in your book. You are very good at writing dialogue to keep the story flowing. Each week, I look forward to reading it, wondering just what is going to happen next.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2021
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Thank you for the encouragement.
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You are welcome
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, it's another endearing chapter. A lot is happening, but it's obvious that Katherine and Gabriel are becomiing an item. They are both smitten. The boys really like him as well. A wonderful chapter, ending on a great note. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2021
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Hi Barbara, it's another endearing chapter. A lot is happening, but it's obvious that Katherine and Gabriel are becomiing an item. They are both smitten. The boys really like him as well. A wonderful chapter, ending on a great note. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 12-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2021
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sankey
Very dramatic. Makes one wonder if the son bashed his wife did his father do the same with his mother? This was a very detailed, descriptive chapter, thanks again. Just wondering if you forgot to turn off "italics" as a lot of "forward" fonts.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2021
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Very dramatic. Makes one wonder if the son bashed his wife did his father do the same with his mother? This was a very detailed, descriptive chapter, thanks again. Just wondering if you forgot to turn off "italics" as a lot of "forward" fonts.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2021
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I will double check that. Nobody else has mentioned it. Thank you.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is another excellent chapter, Barbara, with many little things building into bigger issues. You've introduced some important information about Katherine's previous life, and questions about the integrity of her in-laws again. I like the length of your chapters and the continuation instead of dividing it up into parts.
One thing that is a pet-peeve of mine, but may not be considered correct any more. "Gabriel, Bill, Jordan, and Reggie loaded in(to) Katherine's SUV..." my reason is about space too, I guess. "In" means you are already inside a space, but when you enter a space you are going "into" it.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2021
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This is another excellent chapter, Barbara, with many little things building into bigger issues. You've introduced some important information about Katherine's previous life, and questions about the integrity of her in-laws again. I like the length of your chapters and the continuation instead of dividing it up into parts.
One thing that is a pet-peeve of mine, but may not be considered correct any more. "Gabriel, Bill, Jordan, and Reggie loaded in(to) Katherine's SUV..." my reason is about space too, I guess. "In" means you are already inside a space, but when you enter a space you are going "into" it.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2021
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You're the first person to ever mention that. I have no idea myself but makes sense. I corrected it.
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You're welcome, Barbara. I see it all the time when I'm reading novels. I guess it's not something taught in school anymore.
Comment from judiverse
Fine with me that you posted it as one long one. Katherine's life would have been so much less complicated without Gabriel. She wouldn't have taken on the extra job of coaching, and she wouldn't have had the worry about the scandal. The in-laws wouldn't have been trying to take the boys from her. It may be love, but she needed to get settled in before allowing Gabriel to have so much influence over her life. You've added quite a revealing new element about her late husband being physically abusive. That explains a lot about how she's handling things. Life can be complicated. Great work with you novel, even though I want to give Katherine a talking to about how she's let Gabriel take over her life. judi
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2021
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Fine with me that you posted it as one long one. Katherine's life would have been so much less complicated without Gabriel. She wouldn't have taken on the extra job of coaching, and she wouldn't have had the worry about the scandal. The in-laws wouldn't have been trying to take the boys from her. It may be love, but she needed to get settled in before allowing Gabriel to have so much influence over her life. You've added quite a revealing new element about her late husband being physically abusive. That explains a lot about how she's handling things. Life can be complicated. Great work with you novel, even though I want to give Katherine a talking to about how she's let Gabriel take over her life. judi
Comment Written 12-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2021
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I think the in-laws would've caused trouble anyway. They want the money, it really has nothing to do with Gabriel and Frost would've caused trouble too. I think her mom would've talked her into coaching too. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ben Colder
Long, but good. It takes me back to a few days as a high school student when things were simple and sports were great. I can see this unfolding into a nice clean story. Well done, Author.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2021
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Long, but good. It takes me back to a few days as a high school student when things were simple and sports were great. I can see this unfolding into a nice clean story. Well done, Author.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2021
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Yes, to some reviewer's dismay it is a nice clean story.