Phone Calls from Caroline
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Mad Enough To Bite Nails"A cousin calls her younger cousin to rant.
28 total reviews
Comment from LisaMay
Your story through dialogue describes a conversation with authenticity - I can vividly imagine the riled up old lady as she slips more and more into confusion, losing control of her situation and her memory. It left me feeling sad for the people involved as their relationships turn toxic.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2021
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Your story through dialogue describes a conversation with authenticity - I can vividly imagine the riled up old lady as she slips more and more into confusion, losing control of her situation and her memory. It left me feeling sad for the people involved as their relationships turn toxic.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2021
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Thank you so much LisaMae. I'm afraid it all too real that some are like this. It is sad, but sometime we can't help but smile and hope we never become like that.
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That's for sure!
Comment from lyenochka
Oh, that's so sad but you made it funny in the dialogue. The sad part is that I'm going to have to deal with the same thing soon. Great job with the dialogue - I could just hear Caroline's voice! Hope you do well in the contest!
Yeah that women. (Yeah, that woman.)
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2021
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Oh, that's so sad but you made it funny in the dialogue. The sad part is that I'm going to have to deal with the same thing soon. Great job with the dialogue - I could just hear Caroline's voice! Hope you do well in the contest!
Yeah that women. (Yeah, that woman.)
Comment Written 24-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2021
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Thank you for the review. It is sad, but it is something we have to face. They don't see things rationally and only think they are the ones being wronged. I'm glad you found some humor. :>)
Comment from Mary Shifman
Very good story. It's not easy to write exclusively in dialogue and still keep speakers straight. You did a good job with yours. It sounded very realistic. Both characters are strong personalities and easily distinguishable. Good job.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2021
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Very good story. It's not easy to write exclusively in dialogue and still keep speakers straight. You did a good job with yours. It sounded very realistic. Both characters are strong personalities and easily distinguishable. Good job.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2021
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Thank you so much for a great review. I enjoyed your comments.
:>)
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. Unfortunately, I knew of an elderly man who kept running his help off. It does happen. I enjoyed reading and wish you luck with this contest.
How would you you feel If your daughter did that to you? (lower case 'i' needed on 'if')
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2021
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Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. Unfortunately, I knew of an elderly man who kept running his help off. It does happen. I enjoyed reading and wish you luck with this contest.
How would you you feel If your daughter did that to you? (lower case 'i' needed on 'if')
Comment Written 24-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2021
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Thank you so much for the review and for noticing the error. This lady is real and she is causing all her help to refuse to work with her.
:>)
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Oh dear someone here has a bad temper and I think we become more impatient and frustrated as we get older as there are so many things to complain about, a fun post, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2021
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Oh dear someone here has a bad temper and I think we become more impatient and frustrated as we get older as there are so many things to complain about, a fun post, love Dolly x
Comment Written 24-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2021
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Thatnk you so much Dolly, I appreciate the review and comments.
:>)
Comment from Eunice Amero
This is a good story. There are about 3 words missing. It a real good story and l enjoyed it. That old woman has a temper. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2021
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This is a good story. There are about 3 words missing. It a real good story and l enjoyed it. That old woman has a temper. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2021
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Thank you for the review. I appreciate you noticing the missing words. I have fixed them. :>)
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you are more than welcome
Comment from dellsworthpoet
A nice use of dialogue only.
The phone is a nice touch since then only the conversation is relevant. The story line runs well and stays on point. The frustration is well developed on both parties part.
I have no suggestions.
Thank you for sharing. A good read.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2021
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A nice use of dialogue only.
The phone is a nice touch since then only the conversation is relevant. The story line runs well and stays on point. The frustration is well developed on both parties part.
I have no suggestions.
Thank you for sharing. A good read.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2021
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Thank you so much for reviewing this and for your comments.
:>)
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You are welcome.
Comment from JudyE
This is so true-to-life. You've caught the tone of the feisty old lady very well. I picked up a few small points if that's okay but feel free to ignore them.
How would feel If your daughter did that to you? - there is a word missing here? 'You' in the following 'How would you feel If your daughter did that to you - and lower case for 'if'
I told her I wasn't paying her to talk on phone, - should it be 'on the phone' but perhaps it's how the old lady speaks
She got mad an asked if I wanted her to leave.- should be 'and asked' or 'an' asked'
She has husband to take care of. You need to try to control your temper - should be 'has a husband'
I called you help me calm down, - should be '.... to help me'
If you don't quit hanging on people, you're going find your self with nobody to listen to you rant, old lady.. - should be 'quit hanging up on people'; 'yourself' is usually one word. And there are two periods at the end of the sentence.
Good luck in the contest
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2021
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This is so true-to-life. You've caught the tone of the feisty old lady very well. I picked up a few small points if that's okay but feel free to ignore them.
How would feel If your daughter did that to you? - there is a word missing here? 'You' in the following 'How would you feel If your daughter did that to you - and lower case for 'if'
I told her I wasn't paying her to talk on phone, - should it be 'on the phone' but perhaps it's how the old lady speaks
She got mad an asked if I wanted her to leave.- should be 'and asked' or 'an' asked'
She has husband to take care of. You need to try to control your temper - should be 'has a husband'
I called you help me calm down, - should be '.... to help me'
If you don't quit hanging on people, you're going find your self with nobody to listen to you rant, old lady.. - should be 'quit hanging up on people'; 'yourself' is usually one word. And there are two periods at the end of the sentence.
Good luck in the contest
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2021
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Thank you Judy. I really appreciate your pointing out all these missing words. That is what I get for trying to post something when I'm sleepy. I've made the corrections and I'm very grateful to you.
