Reviews from

Football - A Novel

Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "Football Chapter 16 part 1"
A mother faces life's struggles.

26 total reviews 
Comment from eliz100
Excellent
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This is a very good installment of your story. I enjoyed reading it from beginning to end. I do not see any room for improvement. I look forward to your next installment.

 Comment Written 02-May-2021


reply by the author on 02-May-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Excellent
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This Football Chapter 16: Part 1 of Romance Fiction speaks about the first cross country practice with the girls thru a simple but appealing taletelling, progresses thru a balanced plot development, and dialogues and characters realistic and contributory; ends with a romantic emancipation; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR

 Comment Written 02-May-2021


reply by the author on 02-May-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Excellent
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They are getting a little closer. Another good chapter, Barbara. I like the banter between them, and the hints that everyone would like to see more of Gabriel at Katherine's house. Wish that spy would give them space. lol

Found a few spags:
"Reggie, she'd (she's) glad she confided in me..."
"Angie had the(to) walk the end."
"Five, but that being said, the lineman (linemen) never make it five"

 Comment Written 02-May-2021


reply by the author on 02-May-2021
    Thank you for the catches. I've made the changes.
Comment from judiverse
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Gabriel is attracted to Katherine, but he's putting her in an impossible situation. Putting the track team coaching duties on her is asking a lot of a first-year teacher with four children to take care of. At the end of the chapter he's beginning to show some judgment when he notices the PI is still hanging around and realizes that he can't be spending all that time at Katherine's. I think singing the song during practice was a good idea. It not only makes it more enjoyable but helps the runners with their breathing. Great chapter. judi

 Comment Written 02-May-2021


reply by the author on 02-May-2021
    Thank you for the kind review. My youngest son is a first year math teacher at a high school here in Texas, they have him doing extra coaching duties, plus tutoring after school.
Comment from Begin Again
Excellent
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Great job, Barbara! Love how well you represented the girls' coaching and also how Gabriel is easing in just a little at a time. though I might be reading more into it than it really is, I feel at times that Katherine is a bit testy in her responses to Gabriel. Regardless, I can feel the relationship developing between them. Enjoyed! Smiles, Carol

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 Comment Written 02-May-2021


reply by the author on 02-May-2021
    Thank you for the kind review. Katherine is very cautious of Gabriel.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
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Yes, there is always someone out there watching every move we make, detectives or just nosy people who can't mind their own business. But in my old age, I don't care what any of them have to say or who they tell and what. Thanks for sharing.

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 Comment Written 02-May-2021


reply by the author on 02-May-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.