Phone Calls from Caroline
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Planning A Funeral"A cousin calls her younger cousin to rant.
27 total reviews
Comment from Ben Colder
Girl, you did it. I am still laughing .I stopped by to see what was going on and saw this and took a peek but could not stop laughing . Something I needed today.
Thanks Beth. You made my day.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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Girl, you did it. I am still laughing .I stopped by to see what was going on and saw this and took a peek but could not stop laughing . Something I needed today.
Thanks Beth. You made my day.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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Thank you, I'm so glad you liked it. I really do have a cousin that make phone calls a lot like this one. She's not totally crazy but she's making the rest of us a little crazy.
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LOL.
Comment from rockmann
I was wondering why this was dialogue only, then I saw the note at the bottom. Even not knowing that, I found it an interesting read.
Poor Beth....I read between the lines that Christine talks about her funeral plans quite a bit. That might be enough to push me over the edge, but alas, Beth is dealing with someone who can see the century mark in her headlight.
I am sure it's a computer glitch, but in the second graph you have you;re too stingy..should be you're too stingy.
And it is likely my journalistic background, but you have twenty at least twice, and I think 20 reads easier. I know there is a lot of discussion about spelling out numerals, so I'll leave it to you to do as you wish.
Again, enjoyed it. I think I like Christine quite a bit!
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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I was wondering why this was dialogue only, then I saw the note at the bottom. Even not knowing that, I found it an interesting read.
Poor Beth....I read between the lines that Christine talks about her funeral plans quite a bit. That might be enough to push me over the edge, but alas, Beth is dealing with someone who can see the century mark in her headlight.
I am sure it's a computer glitch, but in the second graph you have you;re too stingy..should be you're too stingy.
And it is likely my journalistic background, but you have twenty at least twice, and I think 20 reads easier. I know there is a lot of discussion about spelling out numerals, so I'll leave it to you to do as you wish.
Again, enjoyed it. I think I like Christine quite a bit!
Comment Written 01-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for the review and great comments. I glad you enjoyed this. Thanks for the suggestions.
Beth
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear Beth, if your cousin Caroline is a real person, and from the sound of it, she is Not completely crazy to be planning her funeral in such detail.
Even if her daughter should be arranging everything, I think you have her trust, And that my friend is very precious commodity.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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Dear Beth, if your cousin Caroline is a real person, and from the sound of it, she is Not completely crazy to be planning her funeral in such detail.
Even if her daughter should be arranging everything, I think you have her trust, And that my friend is very precious commodity.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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She's real and I lot of what is there is stuff she has actually said. She calls when she get aggravated with her daughter. No, she's not completely crazy. She just drives everyone else crazy but I try to listen.
Comment from lyenochka
Lol! Some folks are so silly about their funeral attire! What are they thinking? I think after we leave our earthly bodies, the last thing on our minds would be how we look like! Best wishes in the contest!
Suggestions: I started to note these possible changes but perhaps you wanted these grammatical errors to show the speech:
Yes, it me. Caroline. (Yes, it's me, Caroline.) I thought it was Caroline talking with the given punctuation.
You too stingy to get a new (You're)
and she gone before (she's) unless this is dialectal speech
You've got [to] come over
blue suit is made our of heavy (out not 'our')
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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Lol! Some folks are so silly about their funeral attire! What are they thinking? I think after we leave our earthly bodies, the last thing on our minds would be how we look like! Best wishes in the contest!
Suggestions: I started to note these possible changes but perhaps you wanted these grammatical errors to show the speech:
Yes, it me. Caroline. (Yes, it's me, Caroline.) I thought it was Caroline talking with the given punctuation.
You too stingy to get a new (You're)
and she gone before (she's) unless this is dialectal speech
You've got [to] come over
blue suit is made our of heavy (out not 'our')
Comment Written 01-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for the review and the help with the spags.
This is only partial fiction. I do have a cousin whose phone calls sound a lot like this.
Beth
Comment from Erika Seshadri
Ha! This had me laughing so hard...
"Well, no!... Not really...I'm 95-years-old....I've been going down hill for twenty years. Anyway, I want to talk to you about my funeral. This is your cousin, Caroline."
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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Ha! This had me laughing so hard...
"Well, no!... Not really...I'm 95-years-old....I've been going down hill for twenty years. Anyway, I want to talk to you about my funeral. This is your cousin, Caroline."
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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Thank you. I'm glad you go a laugh for my funeral preparation.
Beth
Comment from humpwhistle
I like yer spellin' jes' fine. Nice use of dialect, Beth, and good characterizations--very believable. I expect you posted this in hurry, as I notice a few punctuation issues, and missing words. I hope you get to clean them up.
Also, I don't think Rinnng qualifies as dialogue.
Best of luck, Beth!
Peace, Lee
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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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I like yer spellin' jes' fine. Nice use of dialect, Beth, and good characterizations--very believable. I expect you posted this in hurry, as I notice a few punctuation issues, and missing words. I hope you get to clean them up.
Also, I don't think Rinnng qualifies as dialogue.
Best of luck, Beth!
Peace, Lee
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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Well the missing words on the front of sentences is the way we talk but I'll check it out. This is almost the conversation I have every few days with my cousin. LOL
Beth
Comment from 4theloveoftrees
What a cute story! I really enjoyed this, it made me smile and laugh and could almost hear these two ladies having this conversation. One minor typo: "can;t" to "can't" in the 10th paragraph. Thanks for sharing!!
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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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What a cute story! I really enjoyed this, it made me smile and laugh and could almost hear these two ladies having this conversation. One minor typo: "can;t" to "can't" in the 10th paragraph. Thanks for sharing!!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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Thank you. I'm so glad you liked this. It is based loosely on a couple of real people.
