Seaworthy Dhow
Petrarchan Sonnet.24 total reviews
Comment from Iza Deleanu
As you said interesting reading, that starts with some intriguing elements introduction the location, nature and means and transportations and then you have the majestic hunt with the people. I really liked these lines - An orange orb we call the sun arose.
The fishing fleet set out against the tide.
Waves swamped their wood decks, abating their glide.
The gale rose fast, the seaman's rides insane- Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2021
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As you said interesting reading, that starts with some intriguing elements introduction the location, nature and means and transportations and then you have the majestic hunt with the people. I really liked these lines - An orange orb we call the sun arose.
The fishing fleet set out against the tide.
Waves swamped their wood decks, abating their glide.
The gale rose fast, the seaman's rides insane- Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2021
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Iza, I thank you so much!
Comment from Bill Schott
This Petrarchan Sonnet, Seaworthy Dhow, has the proper formatting and describes the boat and crew with whom success at sea is assured. The rhyme scheme is nonstandard.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2021
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This Petrarchan Sonnet, Seaworthy Dhow, has the proper formatting and describes the boat and crew with whom success at sea is assured. The rhyme scheme is nonstandard.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2021
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Thank you!
Comment from Rosalie Lawrence
I love the smoothness of the sonnet and you have captured it in your dhow and taken it out for a sail. I love the line "Luck comes to the best trained crews it is plain" - although I would add a few more commas throughout, it is plain and I Might have started "The orange orb as opposed to "An orange orb" - the sun being universal. I know sure whether I understand "The seaman's rides insane" line... The seaman rides insane? or the seamen ride insane? I do think, anyone who would go out in one of this must be insane. Quite lovely, on the whole. Keep sailing and write on!
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2021
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I love the smoothness of the sonnet and you have captured it in your dhow and taken it out for a sail. I love the line "Luck comes to the best trained crews it is plain" - although I would add a few more commas throughout, it is plain and I Might have started "The orange orb as opposed to "An orange orb" - the sun being universal. I know sure whether I understand "The seaman's rides insane" line... The seaman rides insane? or the seamen ride insane? I do think, anyone who would go out in one of this must be insane. Quite lovely, on the whole. Keep sailing and write on!
Comment Written 21-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2021
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Rosalie, thank you for the review and comments.
Comment from royowen
I see you've written a Petrarchan sonnet, one of the most unconventional styles, a drift away from Shakespearean sonnet, but nonetheless, beautifully written Jim, you've written a very good one here, with such great functional sails, this boat, and a superb job you've done Sir, blessings Roy
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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2021
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I see you've written a Petrarchan sonnet, one of the most unconventional styles, a drift away from Shakespearean sonnet, but nonetheless, beautifully written Jim, you've written a very good one here, with such great functional sails, this boat, and a superb job you've done Sir, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2021
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Thank you Roy, I would love to take the credit for the addition of the Petrarchan sonnet, but it was the assignment by Jim Bartlett in the sonnet writing class, He is really putting the test on this old "free verser!" LOL
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He?s a good teacher Jim. But you?re a good student too. Well done,
