Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Football Chapter 9 part 1"A mother faces life's struggles.
26 total reviews
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Barbara:
As I read this, I realized how much I have missed Fanstory, in general, and your writing, in particular. I love football, but in Texas, it is considered to be the consummate sport. There have been many horror stories regarding Texas high school football and their high school cheerleader squads. I will make every effort to go back and read the first part of this novel; however, I doubt I will review the earlier sections.
Rdfrdmom2
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Barbara:
As I read this, I realized how much I have missed Fanstory, in general, and your writing, in particular. I love football, but in Texas, it is considered to be the consummate sport. There have been many horror stories regarding Texas high school football and their high school cheerleader squads. I will make every effort to go back and read the first part of this novel; however, I doubt I will review the earlier sections.
Rdfrdmom2
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the encouraging words.
Comment from Sankey
Did Frost have anything to do with the movers? Another very well presented and detailed chapter. A good read as your stuff always is! Just one spag(He t)[T]ook the ice
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Did Frost have anything to do with the movers? Another very well presented and detailed chapter. A good read as your stuff always is! Just one spag(He t)[T]ook the ice
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the kind chapter.
Comment from RetroStarfish
Never apologize for length. For one thing, there's lots of dialogue here that makes it look long. But, more importantly, the chapter flows as long as it needs to flow. It works. The plot has moved forward, romance is blooming and intrigue is rising, thanks to the mystery dog attack.
Nicely done.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Never apologize for length. For one thing, there's lots of dialogue here that makes it look long. But, more importantly, the chapter flows as long as it needs to flow. It works. The plot has moved forward, romance is blooming and intrigue is rising, thanks to the mystery dog attack.
Nicely done.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the kind review and encouragment.
Comment from judiverse
That was a strange one about the dog killing the neighbor's cat. Has someone told Eugene to make up a story to cause more trouble for Katherine? Or maybe he has a reason for having it in for her. I'm curious to see where this leads. I distinctly remember movers bringing in boxes and putting furniture in its assigned place. These moving guys are definitely taking advantage. I wish Gabriel would let Katherine take care of her own business. I'm sure she's capable. She had already stood up to the movers. This chapter reminds me of how much I hate moving! Great action and characterization in this chapter. judi
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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That was a strange one about the dog killing the neighbor's cat. Has someone told Eugene to make up a story to cause more trouble for Katherine? Or maybe he has a reason for having it in for her. I'm curious to see where this leads. I distinctly remember movers bringing in boxes and putting furniture in its assigned place. These moving guys are definitely taking advantage. I wish Gabriel would let Katherine take care of her own business. I'm sure she's capable. She had already stood up to the movers. This chapter reminds me of how much I hate moving! Great action and characterization in this chapter. judi
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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I hate moving too and being military we moved often. Too many times to mention, I had the same experience. Once, while my husband was deployed. He got orders for deployment while we were still in the guest house and I had to move in by myself. A nightmare. Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome. As a military family, you must have mastered the art of moving. judi
Comment from royowen
Hi Barbara, this was a good work, it may need a little revision, I wasn't completely sure about the role of the extra people to help with the moving in, I thought at first it was to battle with the removalists, but I think it was to help with the moving the boxes into appropriate rooms, although unfulfilled contracts are wrong, beautifully written .Barbara, blessings Roy
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reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Hi Barbara, this was a good work, it may need a little revision, I wasn't completely sure about the role of the extra people to help with the moving in, I thought at first it was to battle with the removalists, but I think it was to help with the moving the boxes into appropriate rooms, although unfulfilled contracts are wrong, beautifully written .Barbara, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Yes, unfulfilled contracts for wrong. Being military we moved often. Too many times to mention, I had the same experience. Once, while my husband was deployed. He got orders for deployment while we were still in the guest house and I had to move in by myself. A nightmare. Thank you for the kind review.
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Well done Barbara
Comment from BethShelby
You really described this furniture arrival scene well. Movers are good at taking advantage of women and failing to do what they are paid to do. It sounds like chaos which is what moving days are often like. I enjoying the story. I think this one is the best one yet.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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You really described this furniture arrival scene well. Movers are good at taking advantage of women and failing to do what they are paid to do. It sounds like chaos which is what moving days are often like. I enjoying the story. I think this one is the best one yet.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Being military we moved often. Too many times to mention, I had the same experience. Once, while my husband was deployed. He got orders for deployment while we were still in the guest house and I had to move in by myself. A nightmare. Thank you for the kind review.