Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Football Chapter 8 part 1"A mother faces life's struggles.
25 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
Chapter for reader's information that, shows Gabe panting, tongue hanging out, looking up with glimmering eyes, saying, pet me, pet me, please. More like a kid not a pooch. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter!
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2020
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Chapter for reader's information that, shows Gabe panting, tongue hanging out, looking up with glimmering eyes, saying, pet me, pet me, please. More like a kid not a pooch. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter!
Comment Written 27-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2020
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Gabe is definitely smitten with this lady and he's not sure how to handle it. Never been smitten before. The ladies just came to him. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
You have a very good story going here. I just have a few questions. As this is the first time I've read this story, I need to know if she had someone in particular causing her problems. At one point you say, "Maybe he has someone to do his dirty work ..." and later say "They..." seeming to refer to the same problem.
At another point you say "He moved his arm toward the door," why not just say :He gestured toward ..."
Also "she turned her head when she heard "Knock.." If she's just a little jumpy over some problem, wouldn't she turn when she heard the words and then smile?' Just seems a little more in character.
Nitpicking I know, but I do a lot of rewrites on my work and still find something to make it flow better.
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reply by the author on 27-Dec-2020
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You have a very good story going here. I just have a few questions. As this is the first time I've read this story, I need to know if she had someone in particular causing her problems. At one point you say, "Maybe he has someone to do his dirty work ..." and later say "They..." seeming to refer to the same problem.
At another point you say "He moved his arm toward the door," why not just say :He gestured toward ..."
Also "she turned her head when she heard "Knock.." If she's just a little jumpy over some problem, wouldn't she turn when she heard the words and then smile?' Just seems a little more in character.
Nitpicking I know, but I do a lot of rewrites on my work and still find something to make it flow better.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2020
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I am sorry you have not followed all the story. Yes, there has been a problem with a man since the beginning of the story. It has followed all through. Thank you for suggestions. I will make some of the suggested corrections.
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You also mentioned "they", does she think there is more than one person involved?
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HMMMMM
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Gabe continues to get closer to the new "kid" in town. I don't think his intention are wrong and his genuine trying to help her out. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
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reply by the author on 27-Dec-2020
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Gabe continues to get closer to the new "kid" in town. I don't think his intention are wrong and his genuine trying to help her out. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
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Comment Written 27-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2020
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Gabriel is one of the good guys, although reformed. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I'm worried about that sound the dogs keep hearing, and now, Katherine and Gabe have heard it too, but can't see anyone. Pretty scary to me. I'm on tenterhooks that something is going to happen to Katherine's class after she's worked so hard to get it ready. Well done, Barbara, another excellent chapter. I hope you had a nice Christmas, and I wish you a great New Year, :) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2020
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I'm worried about that sound the dogs keep hearing, and now, Katherine and Gabe have heard it too, but can't see anyone. Pretty scary to me. I'm on tenterhooks that something is going to happen to Katherine's class after she's worked so hard to get it ready. Well done, Barbara, another excellent chapter. I hope you had a nice Christmas, and I wish you a great New Year, :) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 27-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2020
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Thank you, I had a great Christmas. I hope you did too. I tried to read your post this morning, but it had been removed. I hope you post, again. Thank you for the kind review.
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Yes. it posted by mistake. I didn't have any pumps. I'm nearly there and will post it soon. I had a lovely Christmas, thanks, Barbara. xxx
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Hi Barb, just to let you know my chapter is on now. It's a bit worrying! xxx
Comment from Ben Colder
Hudson is my kind of guy. History, I loved. American mostly. You teachers carry a large responsibility and endure much to get things done. ow are you guys doing with this virus scare. On line mostly. I know my grand kids are doing theirs that way so I am told.
Good one Barb. Love the way you keep the reader in the shadows waiting to see what the clicking is about.
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2020
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Hudson is my kind of guy. History, I loved. American mostly. You teachers carry a large responsibility and endure much to get things done. ow are you guys doing with this virus scare. On line mostly. I know my grand kids are doing theirs that way so I am told.
Good one Barb. Love the way you keep the reader in the shadows waiting to see what the clicking is about.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2020
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At my school most of the kids are in school. A few have decided to remain on-line. My principal decided I am the first grade virtual teacher. I think she did it to protect me. I've recently had a few health issues, plus I'm the oldest teacher in the school. I think she thinks she's doing me a favor. Thank you for the kind review.