Reviews from

Heart Cafted Poems - 2020

Viewing comments for Chapter 55 "Nowhere Land"
Musings of an old man -2020

26 total reviews 
Comment from royowen
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I don't know anywhere that endeavours to honour their ex-servicemen than America, and the concern seems superficial, as homelessness attests to that, we have men that have served in the same campaigns has yours have, I consider it a job choice here, like miners, emergency workers, and police, so they are equal like anyone else, we don't have conscription here, so they are regulars, I think all the homeless deserve the same consideration, and we have the same problem, but our welfare system is a good one, so at least, they have an income stream. But I've helped with feeding the less fortunate, and have entertained them, and a small number live their by choice. Beautifully written, it's clearly not enough to honour them with words, but substance. Excellent free verse post, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
    Roy, you and I could have been brothers, it seems we have the same true grit that makes being a more conscious person in life.I am honored by your FS friendship.
reply by royowen on 30-Oct-2020
    My pleasure and honour to be a fellow labourer Jim.
reply by royowen on 30-Oct-2020
    We are brothers, in the faith.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
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Thank you for explaining about the Veterans who are homeless. I have written books regarding the homeless. I seen how they live on the streets in CA. If they can find a person who can give them food and love, it brings comfort and hope to their eyes.

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
    Rosemary, I smile in great appreciation for your nice comment.
Comment from L. Kalere
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I absolutely loved your free verse, and the way you moved so easily between now and then. These are stories that need to be told. I would have given you a six, however, there are a couple of things I questioned: the fish...catches his breath. This sounds more like a mammal than a fish. The other thing is the 5th stanza: prior to boot camp...a site so deep in the jungle. Maybe I'm not understanding this correctly, but it sounds like you were in the jungle before going to boot camp.
If those two things were clarified, your work would be absolutely deserving of a six. I apologize if it's just my own misunderstanding.

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
    Great Incite! I have revisited this and am grateful for your perspective.
reply by L. Kalere on 30-Oct-2020
    Best of Luck.
Comment from wishawave
Excellent
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All the images are so vivid as if the story were unfolding in front me. The soldiers in the war trudging through the jungles, in a remote place where is so far from their homelandï¼? with all the risk of their lives and the spilling uncertainty of the fate. I feels the heartbeat of the soldier. They were brave and made sacrifice for their country. They deserve a better arrangement after the war. The picture is just in handwritten and indicates the estimated homeless number of the veterans, which is also very powerful telling the story.

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
    Thank you for your very sincere comment.
Comment from Cynthia Adams1
Excellent
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This is an extraordinary poem...very sad but also proud.
The vivid images are nearly too many to count and very powerful.
Using the trout as a metaphor worked really well.
I would have read this poem if it had gone on for pages.
Thank you for sharing your work and for pulling our attention toward those who served and have been un-served since. Bless you all.
Your piece deserves six stars; would that I had them to give.

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 Comment Written 30-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
    Cynthia thank you, I will take the virtual six into the weekend with me and enjoy the rush into November.😀
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Excellent
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This free verse contest entry speaks a glimpse of history of veteran homelessness state and status in America, I like and enjoyed the free flow of thoughts, good word visuals and imagery; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR

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 Comment Written 30-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
    Alcrator, thank you!