Crying Time
Cinquain: 2-4-6-8-2 syllables22 total reviews
Comment from amada
Hi those sirens wailing, their sound is terrible. They make more trouble than what they help the people. Strident noises have an awful feeling. Gppd jpb om describing.
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Hi those sirens wailing, their sound is terrible. They make more trouble than what they help the people. Strident noises have an awful feeling. Gppd jpb om describing.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2020
Comment from Cindy Decker
Excellent poem, Lisa. I can feel the tension and the urgency in your words.
Very good work. Good luck in the contest. Have a nice day.
Cindy Decker
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Excellent poem, Lisa. I can feel the tension and the urgency in your words.
Very good work. Good luck in the contest. Have a nice day.
Cindy Decker
Comment Written 28-Sep-2020
Comment from Tina Crute
You have penned a very dramatic poem that is, unfortunately, true.
Haha...I literally read the last word to be 'sailing.' Sometimes my brain reads ahead of me. I feel the hurt of our society in this. Great entry:)
Tina
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You have penned a very dramatic poem that is, unfortunately, true.
Haha...I literally read the last word to be 'sailing.' Sometimes my brain reads ahead of me. I feel the hurt of our society in this. Great entry:)
Tina
Comment Written 28-Sep-2020
Comment from Pantygynt
the art of writing these things effectively is dependent upon their poetic feel. In this one your beginning and ending rhymes together with the rhyming second and third lines, build the rhythmic middle really well.
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the art of writing these things effectively is dependent upon their poetic feel. In this one your beginning and ending rhymes together with the rhyming second and third lines, build the rhythmic middle really well.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2020
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Cinquain about the riots that seem to be out of control from the start and it is orchestrated by evil people who do not care about anyone else but themselves.
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A very well-written Cinquain about the riots that seem to be out of control from the start and it is orchestrated by evil people who do not care about anyone else but themselves.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2020
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Lisa,
This is a good entry in the Cinquain Poetry contest. It is sad what's happening today in American cities, isn't it? There seems to be such turmoil.
One suggestion,
"Teardrops and blood in the dark will
Glisten."
(Teardrops and blood in the darkness
Glisten.)
Nicely penned! Good Luck!
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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Hi Lisa,
This is a good entry in the Cinquain Poetry contest. It is sad what's happening today in American cities, isn't it? There seems to be such turmoil.
One suggestion,
"Teardrops and blood in the dark will
Glisten."
(Teardrops and blood in the darkness
Glisten.)
Nicely penned! Good Luck!
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 28-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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Thanks for reviewing. I like your suggestion... it looks much better without that 'will' at the end of the line. Thank you!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a powerful write to describe the tragic riots we are subjected to just now around the world and the unrest that chills our bones, a fine Cinquain Lisa, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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This is a powerful write to describe the tragic riots we are subjected to just now around the world and the unrest that chills our bones, a fine Cinquain Lisa, love Dolly x
Comment Written 28-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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Thank you. There's too much to be depressed about.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
A powerhouse chock full of graphic imagery--startling and fresh--glistening blood and teardrops. Good choice of wailing/failing. Fine work. Cheers. LIZ
Back with congrats!
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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A powerhouse chock full of graphic imagery--startling and fresh--glistening blood and teardrops. Good choice of wailing/failing. Fine work. Cheers. LIZ
Back with congrats!
Comment Written 28-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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Thank you!
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This is a well-crafted poem that points out the crumbling organization in several parts of the world. Caught the end rhymes of Listen/glisten and wailing/failing. A commentary on the state of disorder that seems to plague every country lately. Good luck in that contest!
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This is a well-crafted poem that points out the crumbling organization in several parts of the world. Caught the end rhymes of Listen/glisten and wailing/failing. A commentary on the state of disorder that seems to plague every country lately. Good luck in that contest!
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
Comment from lyenochka
Great job with rhyming your cinquain. Your words are powerful and reminds me too much of our daily news. Too much violence is going on and of course, it's the small minority of extremists on both sides that get all the attention. Sigh!
Best wishes in the contest.
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Great job with rhyming your cinquain. Your words are powerful and reminds me too much of our daily news. Too much violence is going on and of course, it's the small minority of extremists on both sides that get all the attention. Sigh!
Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020