St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 73 "St. Louis Chapter 31 part 2"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
19 total reviews
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is an excellent chapter, and I am sure will be a winning book. I always enjoying reading each post. I feel the emotions you play out with each character. Well done!
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
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This is an excellent chapter, and I am sure will be a winning book. I always enjoying reading each post. I feel the emotions you play out with each character. Well done!
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sankey
Excellent work once again. I do hope you and Ulla are staying during this annoying Northern Vacation time. I had a poem about it but I have forgotten. a "blessed off on it." I have not heard this expression in a long time. Good one.
There might be (a) few mini fractures.
I know this is an American thing but it would really look better with the correction... Remember your audience is not solely Yankee or Rebels.for a couple (of)hours
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
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Excellent work once again. I do hope you and Ulla are staying during this annoying Northern Vacation time. I had a poem about it but I have forgotten. a "blessed off on it." I have not heard this expression in a long time. Good one.
There might be (a) few mini fractures.
I know this is an American thing but it would really look better with the correction... Remember your audience is not solely Yankee or Rebels.for a couple (of)hours
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2020
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Thank you for the kind review and the catches. I find there's a difference in writing dialogue and writing just a sentence.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Barb,
what clear detailed images I received when I reading this chapter.
I'm so happy to know that McKenzie is okay and to know that she will not be left alone.
Gert
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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Hello Barb,
what clear detailed images I received when I reading this chapter.
I'm so happy to know that McKenzie is okay and to know that she will not be left alone.
Gert
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You are welcome Barb.
Gert
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I would give you 2 x 6 if I could for this part, Barbara, this was a terrific chapter. You attention to detail really shines through. I just hope that Mac doesn't end up with alcohol poisoning, and that nothing happens when Logan goes to the funeral! What a terrible time for it to all come together. This was brilliant, my friend, well done! :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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I would give you 2 x 6 if I could for this part, Barbara, this was a terrific chapter. You attention to detail really shines through. I just hope that Mac doesn't end up with alcohol poisoning, and that nothing happens when Logan goes to the funeral! What a terrible time for it to all come together. This was brilliant, my friend, well done! :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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But in a novel, they do all come together, sometimes in real life. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from BethShelby
I think you have researched everything well concerning medical and such. This story sounds very real and the things all the characters say and do seem very much like they were in real life. This is an excellent story and I'm enjoying it as it unfolds. I look forward to more.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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I think you have researched everything well concerning medical and such. This story sounds very real and the things all the characters say and do seem very much like they were in real life. This is an excellent story and I'm enjoying it as it unfolds. I look forward to more.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, a well written part of chapter 31. Not much going on here, the character interactions and their concern for Mac is well shown. Yes, Alcohol poisoning is no joke. It was a good choice to use, as it is not commonly done in torture scenes.
Well done.
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reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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Hmm, a well written part of chapter 31. Not much going on here, the character interactions and their concern for Mac is well shown. Yes, Alcohol poisoning is no joke. It was a good choice to use, as it is not commonly done in torture scenes.
Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sally Law
Terrific chapter, dear Barbara. I'm glad to hear Mackenzie is better off than feared. She is a tough girl her still has thipose female soft spots. I love the way she has opened up to Logan.
On needed thing. Do mark this for sexual content and violence. I didn't see a warning and it certainly qualifies with the lead in information as well as today's discussion with the doctor.
Superb, dear one.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xoxo
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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Terrific chapter, dear Barbara. I'm glad to hear Mackenzie is better off than feared. She is a tough girl her still has thipose female soft spots. I love the way she has opened up to Logan.
On needed thing. Do mark this for sexual content and violence. I didn't see a warning and it certainly qualifies with the lead in information as well as today's discussion with the doctor.
Superb, dear one.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xoxo
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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I honestly didn't think it qualified for a warning. I will check into it. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from robyn corum
Barbara,
I really hate that I've missed so much lately. I think the last I read someone grabbed Mac out a back door and now she's in the hospital! But then, I didn't have to worry my head off the whole time, did I? That may have a positive slant to it... hmmm... We just got a pool this year, so it's taking some time away from my writing. Yeah, poor me. hehe
Some notes:
1.) I have her on anti-seizure medication and (we're) hydrating her.
2.) "Bill said you haven't left her side." Peter patted his son's back."
--> delete quote mark at end
3.) You need to (be) with your family."
4.) I don't want me leaving to go any farther than the six of us."
--> it took me a bit (and several readings) to figure out he was saying he wanted the fact he was not going to be there kept a secret. Can we say this better?
Thanks - great job!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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Barbara,
I really hate that I've missed so much lately. I think the last I read someone grabbed Mac out a back door and now she's in the hospital! But then, I didn't have to worry my head off the whole time, did I? That may have a positive slant to it... hmmm... We just got a pool this year, so it's taking some time away from my writing. Yeah, poor me. hehe
Some notes:
1.) I have her on anti-seizure medication and (we're) hydrating her.
2.) "Bill said you haven't left her side." Peter patted his son's back."
--> delete quote mark at end
3.) You need to (be) with your family."
4.) I don't want me leaving to go any farther than the six of us."
--> it took me a bit (and several readings) to figure out he was saying he wanted the fact he was not going to be there kept a secret. Can we say this better?
Thanks - great job!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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I will check out #4. I have already reworded it numberous time. The corrections I have made. Thank you for the help. Question. A reviewer told me it needed a warning on it for sex and violence. I didn't think it did. Am I wrong?
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Absolutely not. Just because you refer to something does not put it in that realm. They're goofy and trying to cause problems.
How about:
I don't want me leaving to go any farther than the six of us.
--> I feel a lot better with folks knowing I'm right beside her. So if I have to leave her, even for a couple hours - let's keep that just between the six of us, okay?
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, It's a wonderful continuation to the story and I love the way everyone is involved, understanding Logan's pain and concern. Even his parents are there, but they also want something from him. Something they need him to do. I love the story. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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Hi Barbara, It's a wonderful continuation to the story and I love the way everyone is involved, understanding Logan's pain and concern. Even his parents are there, but they also want something from him. Something they need him to do. I love the story. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 05-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2020
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I think Logan needs to do it too, for closure. Thank you for the kind review.
