St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 68 "St. Louis Chapter 28 part 1"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
21 total reviews
Comment from Shirley McLain
A tension-filled chapter that is well written. I did enjoy the read as always. You kept the action smooth and easy to follow. I didn't find any errors. Great job. Have a great evening/night. Shirley
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2020
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A tension-filled chapter that is well written. I did enjoy the read as always. You kept the action smooth and easy to follow. I didn't find any errors. Great job. Have a great evening/night. Shirley
Comment Written 31-May-2020
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from tfawcus
I thought this a particularly good chapter. The fast-paced dialogue gives a sense of urgency, especially as it involved several characters at the same time. It seems that Logan's organisational powers are really coming to the fore here.
Great!
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2020
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I thought this a particularly good chapter. The fast-paced dialogue gives a sense of urgency, especially as it involved several characters at the same time. It seems that Logan's organisational powers are really coming to the fore here.
Great!
Comment Written 31-May-2020
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2020
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Thank you for the kind review. Mac never appreciated his organizational skills. Maybe she will now. LOL
Comment from judiverse
This is really exciting. Logan's assembled his own team to try to find Logan. The police certainly haven't been effective. Logan blames himself for allowing Mac to stay by herself, but there was supposed to be security for her, and they failed. I'm suspicious that there have been so many failures to protect Mac on the part of the police. Discussion in this gives more insight into Mac's and Logan's personalities. judi
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2020
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This is really exciting. Logan's assembled his own team to try to find Logan. The police certainly haven't been effective. Logan blames himself for allowing Mac to stay by herself, but there was supposed to be security for her, and they failed. I'm suspicious that there have been so many failures to protect Mac on the part of the police. Discussion in this gives more insight into Mac's and Logan's personalities. judi
Comment Written 31-May-2020
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from BethShelby
This story is getting pretty intense. It looks like they have a plan. I seem everyone know Logan and Mac are in love although they've only know each other two weeks. Mac has a lot of people that care about her. It seems there are few crooked cops on the force. I'm looking forward to the next post.
How we getting her back?" How are we getting....
reply by the author on 31-May-2020
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This story is getting pretty intense. It looks like they have a plan. I seem everyone know Logan and Mac are in love although they've only know each other two weeks. Mac has a lot of people that care about her. It seems there are few crooked cops on the force. I'm looking forward to the next post.
How we getting her back?" How are we getting....
Comment Written 31-May-2020
reply by the author on 31-May-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lancellot
Another strong chapter, and don't worry about the word count. It is not noticeable.
Suggestion:
"The evidence says they shot Edger, came in the backdoor, grabbed Mac, set off a diversion, and then carried her out the front door."
"So they walked right out the front door carrying Mac and nobody did anything?"
Bill chewed on his bottom lip. "It seems so. The diversion sent everybody to the back."
- Not trying to nit-pick but I noticed this in the last chapter. Wouldn't they have set off the diversion first, then walk in through the back and then out the front. It seemed odd, they would not need a diversion to get four guys into the house.
reply by the author on 31-May-2020
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Another strong chapter, and don't worry about the word count. It is not noticeable.
Suggestion:
"The evidence says they shot Edger, came in the backdoor, grabbed Mac, set off a diversion, and then carried her out the front door."
"So they walked right out the front door carrying Mac and nobody did anything?"
Bill chewed on his bottom lip. "It seems so. The diversion sent everybody to the back."
- Not trying to nit-pick but I noticed this in the last chapter. Wouldn't they have set off the diversion first, then walk in through the back and then out the front. It seemed odd, they would not need a diversion to get four guys into the house.
Comment Written 31-May-2020
reply by the author on 31-May-2020
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They didn't need a diversion to get them in through the back door because the are crooked cop guarding her, but they needed a diversion to get her out the front door because there were some good cops in the front. They needed to send them to the back, so the diversion. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Barb ( barbara.wilkey) yes this chapter is long, there is one good thing I liked it; your took your time and giving us the plans to find McKenzie. Smiles to the bits of humor about McKenzie and her cooking.
Gert
reply by the author on 31-May-2020
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Hello Barb ( barbara.wilkey) yes this chapter is long, there is one good thing I liked it; your took your time and giving us the plans to find McKenzie. Smiles to the bits of humor about McKenzie and her cooking.
Gert
Comment Written 31-May-2020
reply by the author on 31-May-2020
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Thank you for the kind review. I hope it wasn't too long.
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You are welcome
barbara.wilkey
Too long, but you kept me interested
Gert
Comment from royowen
With Mac kidnapped, what are going to do? They've worked where they took, but then it branches into a million places, they are going to need a lot of luck, but it sounds like they've got a lot of expertise. There seems to be a lot crookedness in the cop force, well done Barbara, this is a hard one, exciting! Well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 31-May-2020
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With Mac kidnapped, what are going to do? They've worked where they took, but then it branches into a million places, they are going to need a lot of luck, but it sounds like they've got a lot of expertise. There seems to be a lot crookedness in the cop force, well done Barbara, this is a hard one, exciting! Well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 31-May-2020
reply by the author on 31-May-2020
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Thank you for the encouragement. I appreciate it.
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Bless you
Comment from Sankey
Here we are with my 2 favourite storytellers. Maybe now I have been through this very exciting and dramatic chapter, yes it is...I can get Writer Block gone and put some stuff up I have been planning on for some time! One suggestion if not a spag. How (are?) we getting her back?"
reply by the author on 31-May-2020
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Here we are with my 2 favourite storytellers. Maybe now I have been through this very exciting and dramatic chapter, yes it is...I can get Writer Block gone and put some stuff up I have been planning on for some time! One suggestion if not a spag. How (are?) we getting her back?"
Comment Written 31-May-2020
reply by the author on 31-May-2020
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I sure hope you start posting again. I'm not putting the are in. I would if it wasn't dialogue but it is and us Americans like to butcher the language.
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Yeah I did think of the butchering element no worries. I put up an old Writer block poem you may have seen it before. I have a couple of things to go up a poem and another ramble.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, a long chapter it certainly was, but we are all worried about Mckenzie and what is to happen to her. That Logan is in love with her is obvious, and he's been for the longest time. I just hope he'll find her and alive and that the dogs will be okay, as well. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 31-May-2020
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Hi Barbara, a long chapter it certainly was, but we are all worried about Mckenzie and what is to happen to her. That Logan is in love with her is obvious, and he's been for the longest time. I just hope he'll find her and alive and that the dogs will be okay, as well. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 31-May-2020
reply by the author on 31-May-2020
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I hope things work out too. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a wonderfully exciting story with cliffhangers at intervals. I can hardly wait for the next post. Your talent is definitely writing.
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reply by the author on 31-May-2020
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This is a wonderfully exciting story with cliffhangers at intervals. I can hardly wait for the next post. Your talent is definitely writing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-May-2020
reply by the author on 31-May-2020
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Thank you for the encouragement. I appreciate it.
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You're welcome.
