St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 64 "St. Louis Chapter 26 part 3"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
17 total reviews
Comment from Shirley McLain
A great reading chapter and here's your weekly six stars. This is so repetitive it bothers me to type it. You did a wonderful job as always. Have a great week ahead. Shirley
reply by the author on 03-May-2020
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A great reading chapter and here's your weekly six stars. This is so repetitive it bothers me to type it. You did a wonderful job as always. Have a great week ahead. Shirley
Comment Written 03-May-2020
reply by the author on 03-May-2020
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from BethShelby
This is an interesting chapter. I like it that the dog got in a good bite of the one who broke into the house. It seems longer than two weeks must have passed but I seem Logan and Mckenzie have only known each other 13 days. I look forward to your next post.
reply by the author on 03-May-2020
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This is an interesting chapter. I like it that the dog got in a good bite of the one who broke into the house. It seems longer than two weeks must have passed but I seem Logan and Mckenzie have only known each other 13 days. I look forward to your next post.
Comment Written 03-May-2020
reply by the author on 03-May-2020
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That's the reason, I add the time they've known each other. It does seem longer, but it's not. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sally Law
This filled in a lot for me and the broadened the lives of the characters. A good, meaty chapter.
A few improvements for your consideration.
-"Bill, what brings (you) by?" Missing word.
-"I want (to) spend time alone with him." Missing word.
-Bill glanced at his watch and then stood. "I need to leave." He grinned. A suggestion: "Bill glanced at his watch and stood to leave."
-Add the next sentence as you have it, ending with, "he said, smiling."
It should read, "Happy reading. Logan, I don't want to get your hopes up, but I heard your sister's autopsy report and body will be released sometime tomorrow," he said, smiling. Smother and more cohesive.
I hope this is helpful, and gives polishing to your fine installment.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sally xoxo
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reply by the author on 03-May-2020
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This filled in a lot for me and the broadened the lives of the characters. A good, meaty chapter.
A few improvements for your consideration.
-"Bill, what brings (you) by?" Missing word.
-"I want (to) spend time alone with him." Missing word.
-Bill glanced at his watch and then stood. "I need to leave." He grinned. A suggestion: "Bill glanced at his watch and stood to leave."
-Add the next sentence as you have it, ending with, "he said, smiling."
It should read, "Happy reading. Logan, I don't want to get your hopes up, but I heard your sister's autopsy report and body will be released sometime tomorrow," he said, smiling. Smother and more cohesive.
I hope this is helpful, and gives polishing to your fine installment.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sally xoxo
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-May-2020
reply by the author on 03-May-2020
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I reworked that area. I try to stay away from words ending with 'ing'. I had an editor tell me not to use them at all. That It weakens the verb. Still sometimes they are needed. Thank you for the help.
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"He said, with a smile," works, too. I have had many copy editors. They differ on many things. Stay true to yourself. I try not to suggest big changes, just small things. I've had reviews that completely rewrote the section for me. In all, I just look at it again with fresh eyes. I hope I never offend you or anyone. So not worth it. Take my suggestions as nothing more than a suggestion. I'm so visually impaired, I miss quite a bit. It's humbling, but I seldom get through anything without a stray comma or misspelled word. I lean on outside help like my dear reviewers. I cherish you and everyone in my fan base. I hope you know that. Sal xoxo
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Not a problem. I always enjoy the help and want it. I was just sharing with you why I didn't change that area. The other suggestions I changed.
Comment from royowen
So they are forensically close to some things, one, that the man assigned to watch over McKenzie was set up by Parkes. So there's a whole heap of bodies they've got, a skin trail to McKenzie, they got a copy of the text messages Logan's Sister's phone. Tremendous post Barbara, blessings Roy
Typo : What brings (you) by.
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reply by the author on 03-May-2020
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So they are forensically close to some things, one, that the man assigned to watch over McKenzie was set up by Parkes. So there's a whole heap of bodies they've got, a skin trail to McKenzie, they got a copy of the text messages Logan's Sister's phone. Tremendous post Barbara, blessings Roy
Typo : What brings (you) by.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-May-2020
reply by the author on 03-May-2020
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I read that sentence hundreds of time and read right over that missing word. Thank you for the catch. I appreciate the extra eyes.
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My pleasure
Comment from Gert sherwood
Barb,
my your story is getting more interesting and intriguing.
I like how you left us hanging when I read about McKenzie sister autopsy report and her body being released, of what will be found? Makes me more and more curious.
Gert
reply by the author on 03-May-2020
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Barb,
my your story is getting more interesting and intriguing.
I like how you left us hanging when I read about McKenzie sister autopsy report and her body being released, of what will be found? Makes me more and more curious.
Gert
Comment Written 03-May-2020
reply by the author on 03-May-2020
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
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You are welcome Barb (barbara.wilkey
Gert
Comment from judiverse
This is great. It looks like they may be getting somewhere at last, The case goes a lot deeper than Megan's murder. More details come up about the murder of Mac's parents, too. Megan's text messages may provide clues, and they're expecting the autopsy report soon. Someone's going to a lot of trouble to cover things up. Great suspense in this chapter and some new developments. Excellent reading. judi
reply by the author on 03-May-2020
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This is great. It looks like they may be getting somewhere at last, The case goes a lot deeper than Megan's murder. More details come up about the murder of Mac's parents, too. Megan's text messages may provide clues, and they're expecting the autopsy report soon. Someone's going to a lot of trouble to cover things up. Great suspense in this chapter and some new developments. Excellent reading. judi
Comment Written 03-May-2020
reply by the author on 03-May-2020
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
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You're welcome. I enjoyed highly. judi
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, this is is another great chapter as they are slowly working their way to the core of the matter. Or at least, I hope they are getting closer to an answer, although it can be difficult to see. I didn't find anything that stood out. I loved the chapter. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 03-May-2020
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Hi Barbara, this is is another great chapter as they are slowly working their way to the core of the matter. Or at least, I hope they are getting closer to an answer, although it can be difficult to see. I didn't find anything that stood out. I loved the chapter. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 03-May-2020
reply by the author on 03-May-2020
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
