St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 56 "St. Louis Chapter 24 part 1"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
19 total reviews
Comment from ciliverde
Oh those two dogs in the picture - adorable!! I like how she said, "You're talking to my dogs, again." I talk to my dogs all the time, and I believe they understand most of it. I like your characters and enjoy the dialogue. Not sure about the title of your Shana and Anderson book though - I'm kind of with your husband on that. But it is kind of cute... hmmm!
Carol
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2020
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Oh those two dogs in the picture - adorable!! I like how she said, "You're talking to my dogs, again." I talk to my dogs all the time, and I believe they understand most of it. I like your characters and enjoy the dialogue. Not sure about the title of your Shana and Anderson book though - I'm kind of with your husband on that. But it is kind of cute... hmmm!
Carol
Comment Written 09-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2020
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Not too many people like the title so I am getting rid of it. I am working on a few other choices.
Comment from Sally Law
Love and dogs, two of my favorite story lines. This is sweet and tender. I love it. Logan is a dear.
I'm still need to catch up and hope to do so. Thanks for your patience. :)
One small improvement:
"I prefer someone with more natural beauty, someone like you." Extend this sentence all the way to the margin.
Sometimes when we repair things, they go crazy.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sally xo
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2020
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Love and dogs, two of my favorite story lines. This is sweet and tender. I love it. Logan is a dear.
I'm still need to catch up and hope to do so. Thanks for your patience. :)
One small improvement:
"I prefer someone with more natural beauty, someone like you." Extend this sentence all the way to the margin.
Sometimes when we repair things, they go crazy.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sally xo
Comment Written 08-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2020
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I fixed the spacing. I am not sure how it happened, but it did. LOL Thank you for the kind review. I have at least one dog, usually two in all my novels.
Comment from royowen
I ten to agree with your husband, how about, "Love has limits" it's not true, but it sounds curious. Another well developed episode, Logan's direct honesty in the right way, is drawing Mackenzie into its charming embrace, I really like this story, it has developed nicely, at a good leisurely pace, and love is blossoming as it should, beautifully written Barbara, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2020
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I ten to agree with your husband, how about, "Love has limits" it's not true, but it sounds curious. Another well developed episode, Logan's direct honesty in the right way, is drawing Mackenzie into its charming embrace, I really like this story, it has developed nicely, at a good leisurely pace, and love is blossoming as it should, beautifully written Barbara, blessings Roy
Comment Written 08-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2020
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Thank you for the kind review and the suggestion. I like it. Another reviewer suggested 'The Accidental Savior'. I kind of like it but I'm questioning the word 'savior'. Any ideas?
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I don?t think it may be popular with secularites, but then, who knows?
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hi Barb,
I enjoyed reading your writing, St. Louis Chapter 24 part 1.
I found myself feeling calm and relaxed.
I really like how you wrote about how McKenzie in her coy way find out if Logan thinks she is pretty.
About the-title for your book. It doesn't appeal to me.
Gert
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2020
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Hi Barb,
I enjoyed reading your writing, St. Louis Chapter 24 part 1.
I found myself feeling calm and relaxed.
I really like how you wrote about how McKenzie in her coy way find out if Logan thinks she is pretty.
About the-title for your book. It doesn't appeal to me.
Gert
Comment Written 08-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2020
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So far the book title hasn't appealed to anybody. I'm dumping it. A fan suggested 'The Accidental Savior' How do you feel about that one?
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The title has a way of getting ones attention.
Gert
Comment from Sankey
Another great chapter. Glad to see the romance is warming up. No spags and a great read as usual. Possibly a "fill-in" chapter? Did I read the Shana and Anderson story? Wanting a title? I will look for it I do remember that story now.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2020
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Another great chapter. Glad to see the romance is warming up. No spags and a great read as usual. Possibly a "fill-in" chapter? Did I read the Shana and Anderson story? Wanting a title? I will look for it I do remember that story now.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2020
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Yes, I need a title for that book. LOL Please any help you can give me. Thank you for the kind review of this novel.
Comment from Shirley McLain
To answer your question first. I do not care for the title you thought up. It does not have a smooth flow to you at all. Your chapter is excellent and I look forward to more. Shirley
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reply by the author on 08-Mar-2020
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To answer your question first. I do not care for the title you thought up. It does not have a smooth flow to you at all. Your chapter is excellent and I look forward to more. Shirley
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Comment Written 08-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2020
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Thank you for the review. I will keep working on the title. Nobody likes it, so far. LOL
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, this is a lovely addition to your story. It's quiet and laid back. I like that and it gives the reader a breather. Always needed in a book. They are getting closer the two of them.
"I'll be back before you walk up." = "I'll be back before you wake up."
I agree with your husband. That title sounds like a take away. Let me have a think. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2020
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Hi Barbara, this is a lovely addition to your story. It's quiet and laid back. I like that and it gives the reader a breather. Always needed in a book. They are getting closer the two of them.
"I'll be back before you walk up." = "I'll be back before you wake up."
I agree with your husband. That title sounds like a take away. Let me have a think. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 08-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2020
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I will make that corrections. I read that line even when you pointed it out twice before I caught the mistake. OH MY!!! Thank you. Please let me know if you have any idea for a title. I am at a loss.
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I'll do my best to think of a title. Ulla:)))
Comment from judiverse
Mac does seem to like having Logan around, after their rocky start. It is important to her that he finds her pretty, because she asks him. To Logan, natural beauty is best. There is some tension at the end of the chapter, as our attention is drawn to whoever is at the door. The main focus in this part is to illustrate the growing relationship between Mac and Logan. Excellent development. "You can add stuff if you want too." Make that to. I agree with your husband about "Love's Kosher Quandry." Maybe use Shana's name in the title. There is a lot going on besides her indecision because of her Jewish faith. judi
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2020
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Mac does seem to like having Logan around, after their rocky start. It is important to her that he finds her pretty, because she asks him. To Logan, natural beauty is best. There is some tension at the end of the chapter, as our attention is drawn to whoever is at the door. The main focus in this part is to illustrate the growing relationship between Mac and Logan. Excellent development. "You can add stuff if you want too." Make that to. I agree with your husband about "Love's Kosher Quandry." Maybe use Shana's name in the title. There is a lot going on besides her indecision because of her Jewish faith. judi
Comment Written 08-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2020
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I have made the corrections thank you. So maybe Shana's Kosher Quandary. I am at a loss for a title for this book. Any ideas???
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Maybe just Shana's Quandary. I don't think you want to inject religion into your title. judi
Comment from BethShelby
I'm enjoying the interaction between these two characters. Logan seems like a really decent guy. McKenzie acts as though she doesn't know she if that pretty. Looking forward to the next chapter.
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reply by the author on 08-Mar-2020
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I'm enjoying the interaction between these two characters. Logan seems like a really decent guy. McKenzie acts as though she doesn't know she if that pretty. Looking forward to the next chapter.
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Comment Written 08-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2020
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McKenzie really doesn't know she's pretty. She'd had a hard life. Thank you for the kind review.
