Reviews from

Joined at the Hip

Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Ol' Wood Bridge"
Bill and Cathy's hearts beat as one!

16 total reviews 
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Excellent
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Hello Commando. You are running Billy through the gauntlet. He just finishes recovering from a snakebite and then the stares down a wild boar.
It's interesting that he was headed for romance til the boar came along. This chapter showed the special relationship between Billy and Grandpa.

Robert



 Comment Written 14-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 14-Mar-2020
    A "SALUTE," Robert!
    Thanks for the review, kind words and taking the time to read our work. All of which is an honor. Hmm! Grandpa told me when I was 11-years old, "Billy, some day something will take away your romancing a beautiful young woman for a day." Although he was a silly-gander at times, he was right at other times. Great hearing from you. Have an awesome weekend and God Bless. Respectfully with Admiration, Bill
reply by Robert Zimmerman on 14-Mar-2020
    You're welcome
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good afternoon, guys.

I enjoyed this piece of your new novel, but I'm just gonna be straight out honest with you. (I can't ever be any other way, as you know.) Sorry up front if I hurt your feelings.

This seems to be the third novel I know of you guys are working on together. (I'm sure I could be wrong.) Here's what occurs to me:
1.) It's starting to seem like y'all are really, really good with coming up with beginnings/premises/characters for novels but perhaps not as good at the carrying out or completing of the novels.
2.) All the novels have the same characters, the same speech/dialect, and almost the same stories and plots.

As I said, I don't want to offend anyone, but if I were an editor, I would STRONGLY encourage you both to pick ONE book and focus on it with laser intensity to the end. Period. Prove to your readers you are serious and that you intend to do this.

THEN do the second and third and on and on.

Now, remember I'm just a nobody and you are welcome to ignore everything I say -even better, you can print this out and go burn it. *smile* But I'm trying to tell you what I'd want someone to be brave enough to tell me. I hope you see that?

One more note:
--> "I watched Grandpa walk out into the hallway, kneel down, then heard him pray."
--> why is this in quote marks?

That's all. Thanks and good luck!

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 14-Mar-2020
    A "Salute," Robyn!
    Thanks for the review, kind words, and feedback. Cathy and I respect your honesty and our wishes are that you respect ours as well. We say to you, "As writers, we aren't only serious, we find it to be a passionate art form. Regardless of the style or subject chosen, we are able to express our intimate feelings using this ancient tradition." You're wrong about our working three novels, we are working four presently. Haven't you noticed, we have posted 23 chapters of "Love Long Distance" which is our first priority with chapter 24 completed, and shall be posted soonest. There are approximately 10 chapters left to post, and Cathy has already started the typeset. Therefore, we feel that you should reconsider saying, "We are not serious." Both Cathy and I work hard at what we do. In reference to the same type of dialogue, we say, "You betcha!" Have you ever heard the word branding ? This is our style, and we stick to it as flies stick to glue. Although some readers will find differences (to each their own) in each of our novels as they read along, (if they haven't already) we are well aware of what we're doing. Great hearing from you, have an awesome weekend and God Bless. Respectfully with Admiration, Cathy and Bill.
reply by robyn corum on 14-Mar-2020
    AWESOME. Thank you. I haven't been here as much as I'd like to recently. I am sorry if I offended you. I truly did not mean to. I always speak what I feel writers might need to consider, even though it may be unpopular. Sometimes that makes ME unpopular, but oh, well. i'd rather be honest and possibly offer something of value than only rush by with a fluff review. I was just concerned when I saw the new book starting. Thanks for calming my concerns. I wish you both the very best!
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2020
    A 2nd "SALUTE," Robyn! An "AWESOME" reply. Cathy and I ask you, "Always speak/write your mind." It is an honor having a "MAGNIFICENT" writer such as yourself to share your most inner thoughts on our writing. Now, go and write us a "BEST SELLER!" Respectfully with Admiration, Cathy and Bill.
reply by robyn corum on 14-Mar-2020
    Haha!!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is an AWESOME chapter, Bill and Cathy. From the start with the author's notes, previously, and special notes, readers know they are in for an interesting, well-written chapter. Those who follow the collaborative work done by Commando and Tootie are familiar with their style and how they skillfully merge their individual POV into a cohesive entertaining read.

The part about Billy waking up in Doc Smith's office was intense and well- expressed. Readers (I) could feel the way the nurse and doctor worked to save Billy. Also, Grandpa is a central character here. His actions, whether praying for Billy or just 'being there' show the loving bond between Billy and him. I love the way Billy says how he loves Grandpa and comments about the fish. Both of those show more of the love these two have for each other.

I like the use of ******* between paragraphs to indicate the passage of time. It's great that Billy recovered and is back to his normal self. There is always the element of faith in all that the characters do and say. Billy knows he was saved by Jesus/God and isn't afraid to say so.

When Cathy and Billy walk to school together, they act like two young people smitten with each other. Cathy is a bit of a tease and Billy is sure of one thing--he loves Cathy.

The scene on the ol' wood bridge as the two of them are returning after the get-together is intense and well-written. Readers (I) could feel how Billy wanted to protect Cathy--even if it ended with him dying. Grandpa's wisdom is again on display as Billy remembers what he said about rabid animals and light. I love the way Billy says 'I Love You. . .and shall always be with you in spirit.' This indicates more than an infatuation with Cathy. It shows that these two truly love each other. Young love is nothing to dismiss. My grandparents married when he was 18 and she was 14.

Your cliff hanger is subtle. However, I believe readers will return to see the outcome with Billy fighting off the wild boar.

Thanks Bill and Cathy for sharing this chapter and please hurry with the next one.
Respectfully with Love and Admiration, Laura Jan

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 14-Mar-2020
    A "SALUTE," Laura Jan! In only three words, "AN AWESOME REVIEW!" Thanks for the kind words and the time you spent here. It is a "PRESTIGIOUS HONOR" having an "ASTONISHING WRITER" such as yourself to express admiration for our work. This review is worthy of "SPECIAL NOTICE." Wow! Thanks again, best wishes for an awesome weekend and God Bless. Respectfully with Love and Admiration, Cathy and Bill
reply by Jannypan (Jan) on 14-Mar-2020
    You & Cathy earned it! A "SALUTE!" to both!!
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I am enjoying reading your entertaining stories which all seem to end with a cliff hangers. You know how to keep your reading coming back. I like that two people working together are creating this.

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 14-Mar-2020
    A "SALUTE," Beth!
    Cathy and I love your hair style. Great hearing from you. Thanks for the review, kind words and taking the time to read our work. It is an honor having an "AWESOME WRITER," such as yourself to express admiration for our work. Best wishes for an great weekend and God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Cathy and Bill
Comment from George Anderson
Good
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Not as engaging as the first chapter but still good. It felt that certain things happened to quickly. The tension of being bit by the rattlesnake was resolved very fast, you could extend that. Make it more dramatic.

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 Comment Written 13-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 14-Mar-2020
    A "Salute," George!
    Welcome to FanStory, our friend. Thanks for following along with "Joined at the Hip." Cathy and I appreciate your thoughts. We shall try and make Chapter 3 more engaging, and hope to see you there. Best wishes for an awesome weekend and God Bless. Respectfully with Admiration, Cathy and Bill.
Comment from Teri7
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Please check this out:
shall be listen in Chapter
listed


This is another very well written chapter you two have written. This is a good cliff hanger. We have to wait to see what happens next! You used great descriptive words and great dialogue. love and blessings to you both. Teri



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 Comment Written 13-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 14-Mar-2020
    A "Salute," Teri!
    Thanks for the excellent review, kind words and taking the time to read our work. Your sharp eye on the spelling of "Listed" is appreciated. Great having you follow along with "Joined at the Hip." Best wishes for an awesome weekend and God Bless. Respectfully with Admiration, Cathy and Bill.