Eric's Epic Adventures Bk 4
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Herbie Wants to Mind-Merge"Eric And The Lost City of Atlantis
34 total reviews
Comment from aryr
Wow, an amazing chapter, Sandra. That was indeed brave of Eric to have a mind melt with the creatures and then to think he might be able to understand Drozig when next they met. I do agree that Eric might not be able to write an essay about this strange meeting. Oh poor little guy, all those overwhelming questions from everyone. No wonder he wanted them gone. Great job, well done, hugs and smiles, Alie.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
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Wow, an amazing chapter, Sandra. That was indeed brave of Eric to have a mind melt with the creatures and then to think he might be able to understand Drozig when next they met. I do agree that Eric might not be able to write an essay about this strange meeting. Oh poor little guy, all those overwhelming questions from everyone. No wonder he wanted them gone. Great job, well done, hugs and smiles, Alie.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
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I'm really pleased you liked this part, Alie, thank you so much for this lovely review. Sending you loads of hugs, and a bigger smile! :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Iza Deleanu
I really like how you keep Eric close to reality by bringing glimpse of the real life in the story. I think this is an enlightening maneuver for keep the kids to the purpose of going to school.
"This is one heck of a strange place. I wonder what my teacher would say if I was to put all this in my essay. All my mates would laugh at me. I don't think I'm going to be able to tell my story to the class, after all. What a bummer! Though I might get an A+ for imagination! Eric grinned, happy again."
Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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I really like how you keep Eric close to reality by bringing glimpse of the real life in the story. I think this is an enlightening maneuver for keep the kids to the purpose of going to school.
"This is one heck of a strange place. I wonder what my teacher would say if I was to put all this in my essay. All my mates would laugh at me. I don't think I'm going to be able to tell my story to the class, after all. What a bummer! Though I might get an A+ for imagination! Eric grinned, happy again."
Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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Thank you so much, Iza, that's a really great review, and so encouraging that you think the Eric's character is being portrayed well. I hope you continue to read this story as I enjoy what you have to say about it. Big hugs. Sandra xxx
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Mind merge! I don't think I have enough mind to do such a thing. =] Well done my dear. It is fun to see the strange world and creatures in it. Looking forward to more. I saw no error. Rox
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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Mind merge! I don't think I have enough mind to do such a thing. =] Well done my dear. It is fun to see the strange world and creatures in it. Looking forward to more. I saw no error. Rox
Comment Written 02-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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LOL! Rox, you are so funny. You are such a wonderful writer, how can you even think that!! lol. Thank you for another lovely review, my friend. Big hugs. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from JudyE
I hope the next chapter isn't too far away so we can find out what happens!
I picked up a few small points:
As Eric and Herbie approached the first lot of the workers, they stopped and stared at them. Their blank expressions giving nothing away. - I'd replace the first period with a comma.
This one, though, is a lot bigger than Drozig's, I would very much like to mind-merge with one of these beings." - period after 'Drozig'
They all waited calmly until Herbie came away. - not sure why you say 'Herbie came away'. Came away from where? Or am I missing something? It wouldn't be the first time (that I missed something)
Eric frowned, although he could hear them, he still had no idea what they were saying. - period after 'frowned'
all four of them started throwing questions at him at the same time, and not being used to this he found it to be really painful. - commas either side of 'not being used to this'
Enjoy your day
Judy
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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I hope the next chapter isn't too far away so we can find out what happens!
I picked up a few small points:
As Eric and Herbie approached the first lot of the workers, they stopped and stared at them. Their blank expressions giving nothing away. - I'd replace the first period with a comma.
This one, though, is a lot bigger than Drozig's, I would very much like to mind-merge with one of these beings." - period after 'Drozig'
They all waited calmly until Herbie came away. - not sure why you say 'Herbie came away'. Came away from where? Or am I missing something? It wouldn't be the first time (that I missed something)
Eric frowned, although he could hear them, he still had no idea what they were saying. - period after 'frowned'
all four of them started throwing questions at him at the same time, and not being used to this he found it to be really painful. - commas either side of 'not being used to this'
Enjoy your day
Judy
Comment Written 02-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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Thank you so very much for the edits, Judy. I've made the corrections now. The part where you thought you'd missed something. ie, they all waited until Herbie came away... He was attached through the leader's eyes by his laser beam that he'd sent to find out more about them. I've changed the ending to read... They all waited calmly until Herbie had finished...
I hope that's clearer now, or I'll have to try again. :)) Thanks again, for the time you spent going through this part, my friend, I really appreciate it. Big hugs. Sandra xxx
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It is much clearer to me, thanks, but sometimes I'm a bit slow so don't feel you have to change things just because I've got the wrong end of the stick. :)
Comment from l.raven
Hi You, what has Eric gotten himself into now ???....if he stops them ...he won't be able to communicate with them....but wouldn't it be awesome to find a lost city sweet you...if Eric thinks telling his class about Atlantis would be strange....try telling them about his best friend Herbie....can't wait to see what they think of each other beautiful you....if Eric doesn't go deaf first...ok....let's see what happens...another awesome chapter my wonderful sweet friend.....very well written you....made me smile....and I love the picture....always so much love to you....Linda xxoo.
Say hi to Ian for me...xxoo
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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Hi You, what has Eric gotten himself into now ???....if he stops them ...he won't be able to communicate with them....but wouldn't it be awesome to find a lost city sweet you...if Eric thinks telling his class about Atlantis would be strange....try telling them about his best friend Herbie....can't wait to see what they think of each other beautiful you....if Eric doesn't go deaf first...ok....let's see what happens...another awesome chapter my wonderful sweet friend.....very well written you....made me smile....and I love the picture....always so much love to you....Linda xxoo.
Say hi to Ian for me...xxoo
Comment Written 01-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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You know what my Eric is like! lol. Herbie will get it sorted, at least, I hope he will! Thank you so much, my sweet friend, for another lovely review. I'm thinking of having a speech therapist in for these strange creatures! lol. Sending you even more hugs, and loads more love. Give some to Noah for me. :)) Sandra xxxxxx
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LOL...I think it's the wrong therapist...you may want to lean on a shrink...your doing a great job beautiful you...and your so welcome...always...sending you back tons of hugs and love...smiling big back at you...and I will see Noah Friday...love you...xxoo
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hey Sandra. As the explorers go deeper into the world of Atlantis, some interesting things happen. I could speculate when IO read "some of the machinery these strange beings were working on were similar to those on Drozig's spaceship," but I won't. Only the author knows for sure. Maybe I will find out more in four. :)
Robert
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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Hey Sandra. As the explorers go deeper into the world of Atlantis, some interesting things happen. I could speculate when IO read "some of the machinery these strange beings were working on were similar to those on Drozig's spaceship," but I won't. Only the author knows for sure. Maybe I will find out more in four. :)
Robert
Comment Written 01-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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The author gets surprises sometimes, Robert! lol. Thank you so much for another lovely review, my friend. I'm not saying anything about your speculations, but.... See you in part four! :)) Sandra xxx
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You're welcome
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is another exciting chapter in the book. You make the characters so real and believable. Their conversation flow smoothly and effortlessly. Good job!
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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This is another exciting chapter in the book. You make the characters so real and believable. Their conversation flow smoothly and effortlessly. Good job!
Comment Written 01-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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Thank you, Thaities, for another of your lovely reviews. I'm so pleased you are enjoying this story and that you think my characters are believable. That means a lot. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from tfawcus
This chapter certainly builds the mystery. You are keeping us in suspense most effectively. Can't wait to find out more about these mysterious beings!
Just one spag that I noticed:
some of the machinery these strange beings were working on were (was) similar to those on Drozig's spaceship
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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This chapter certainly builds the mystery. You are keeping us in suspense most effectively. Can't wait to find out more about these mysterious beings!
Just one spag that I noticed:
some of the machinery these strange beings were working on were (was) similar to those on Drozig's spaceship
Comment Written 01-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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Thanks for that edit, Tony. And a humongous thank you for the six stars! I'm so pleased you are still coming in to read our writing, I know how busy you must be with the editing of your own book. I miss my Sunday fix, so hurry up and start another. Charles won't want to be sitting around for long! Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xxx
Comment from Cindy Warren
You really know how to create suspense. I want to know what they have to say! I don't think they meant to hurt Eric, all talking at once. They're just curious, and excited. They'll figure things out. But I want to know what these creatures are. Aliens?
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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You really know how to create suspense. I want to know what they have to say! I don't think they meant to hurt Eric, all talking at once. They're just curious, and excited. They'll figure things out. But I want to know what these creatures are. Aliens?
Comment Written 01-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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I'm sure Herbie will sort out the communication, because you're right, they are excited that they can now talk to Eric. We should learn a bit more in the next part, once Eric's head stops exploding! lol. Thank you so much for your continued support of these books, Cindy, I really like it that you enjoy them. You are always so encouraging. Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello sandramitchell
I must say you have a fun children's story to read.
I love your chacters Eric and Herbie. And your very creative imagination, especially of how these strange beings can communicate with their brains with clicks.
Gert
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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Hello sandramitchell
I must say you have a fun children's story to read.
I love your chacters Eric and Herbie. And your very creative imagination, especially of how these strange beings can communicate with their brains with clicks.
Gert
Comment Written 01-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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Hello Gert, thank you so much for reading this part, I'm always so pleased to see you. You've made my day with your comments, I'm so pleased you like Eric and Herbie. Now Herbie has to sort this communication problem out. I'm sure he'll manage it. Thanks again, my friend. Big hugs. Sandra xxx
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You are welcome
sandramitchell
Gert