Mousse
Fuzzy vision12 total reviews
Comment from Natalie Goodwin
This is a sweet story. I loved the narrator's confusion over mousse. It never occurred to me they meant hair mousse until the end. The story is rich with descriptions, and this was a fun read. Best of luck in the contest!
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reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
This is a sweet story. I loved the narrator's confusion over mousse. It never occurred to me they meant hair mousse until the end. The story is rich with descriptions, and this was a fun read. Best of luck in the contest!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
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Thank you for the kind comments and the good luck wishes. I am glad you enjoyed the story.
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
This is an enjoyable, entertaining story. But I think you needed a picture of a big moose with mousse in her hair, eating chocolate mousse... well, no, that might lead to indigestion ala mousse.
You told this story very well and it's very believable. What the girl wanted was much simpler than what you brought, yet it never occurred to me, either. It was cute that you returned later with both the hair mousse and the toy moose as well!
One small error, an oversight:
Mina smiled. "What are doing?"
-->
Mina smiled. "What are you doing?"
I'm glad enough of the note survived for you to make it to the little party and do your part, when all was said and done -- and then some. And that chocolate mousse sure sounds delicious!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
This is an enjoyable, entertaining story. But I think you needed a picture of a big moose with mousse in her hair, eating chocolate mousse... well, no, that might lead to indigestion ala mousse.
You told this story very well and it's very believable. What the girl wanted was much simpler than what you brought, yet it never occurred to me, either. It was cute that you returned later with both the hair mousse and the toy moose as well!
One small error, an oversight:
Mina smiled. "What are doing?"
-->
Mina smiled. "What are you doing?"
I'm glad enough of the note survived for you to make it to the little party and do your part, when all was said and done -- and then some. And that chocolate mousse sure sounds delicious!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
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Thank you for the kind comments, pointing out the word ommision. I wish I could figure out how to have a moose and a mouse eating mousse with mousee in their hair. I am not talented with drawing so I just found a picture that fit somewhat.
I am glad you liked the story.
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You're very welcome. I was joking about the picture! The one you had was just fine, and amusing enough.
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I loveded thought though of the picture you suggested. It would be perfect. LOL
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I guess it would, Haha, but I'm no artist either, oh well!