Heart Cafted Poems - 2020
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Wading in Thought"Musings of an old man -2020
60 total reviews
Comment from Alchera
A well written 20 word poem contest entry within its seven line rhymed structure and its cascading dreamy narration story lined content. The enclosed picture is really efficiently to the thematic subject described. One suggestion for the last two lines : blood pulse/ I wake from my dream(s). A good work.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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A well written 20 word poem contest entry within its seven line rhymed structure and its cascading dreamy narration story lined content. The enclosed picture is really efficiently to the thematic subject described. One suggestion for the last two lines : blood pulse/ I wake from my dream(s). A good work.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Alchera, thank you dreams are a tapestry that we can often pull pearls of wisdom from and find personal growth. I will look at this suggested modification, thanks much!
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You are Always welcome! I have added something new to the first chapter of my book, please let me know your opinion if you like.Blessings. Tony.
Comment from Rbrendaartwork18
This is a solace. It is a dream for you but for me a reality.
Many months I lived on an anchorage and we would beach on sandbanks for cleaning. After a visit to the local cafe bar we would wander back flushed, bearing our feet to the water and moonbeams as we walked and then climbed aboard. It's a lovely worded calming poem. Well done.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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This is a solace. It is a dream for you but for me a reality.
Many months I lived on an anchorage and we would beach on sandbanks for cleaning. After a visit to the local cafe bar we would wander back flushed, bearing our feet to the water and moonbeams as we walked and then climbed aboard. It's a lovely worded calming poem. Well done.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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I have been an those very same sand beaches in Anchorage and I can visualize these moonbeams dancing. thanks for sharing
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👌
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This is a really lovely, vividly descriptive poem, an appealing blend
of dreaming, nature, romance, and waking. You have made good use of all
of your words.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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This is a really lovely, vividly descriptive poem, an appealing blend
of dreaming, nature, romance, and waking. You have made good use of all
of your words.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Janice, thank you, dreams are a tapestry that we can often pull pearls of wisdom from and find personal growth.
Comment from Susan Larson
I love all the references to water and motion: rushing, gushing, flushing, all good descriptions of your experience in your dream. Very well expressed in only twenty words. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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I love all the references to water and motion: rushing, gushing, flushing, all good descriptions of your experience in your dream. Very well expressed in only twenty words. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Susan, dreams are an amazing tapestry from which we can find answers and experience personal growth when we take the time or make the effort to sit with the content of the evening picture shows.
Comment from MissMerri
I think this is an outstanding entry in the 20-word poem contest. It is also beautifully presented, which I love and always notice. It seems like a very believable account of a dream, and that you managed to do it in rhyme is pretty impressive. I enjoyed reading it, and hope it will do well in the contest. Best wishes. MM
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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I think this is an outstanding entry in the 20-word poem contest. It is also beautifully presented, which I love and always notice. It seems like a very believable account of a dream, and that you managed to do it in rhyme is pretty impressive. I enjoyed reading it, and hope it will do well in the contest. Best wishes. MM
Comment Written 29-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Hi MM, I believe dreams are an amazing tapestry from which we can find answers and experience personal growth when we take the time or make the effort to sit with the content of the evening picture shows.
Comment from Bicpen
... it opens with a distinction and gravity pursuing the imagery but unfortunately the word choice is flawed in the middle giving a unfurnished and unhallowed over use of rhyme which discovers a child like mentality of word choice when a more considerate use of words would make the piece stronger in its imagery and provoke a more endearing presence of its voice.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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... it opens with a distinction and gravity pursuing the imagery but unfortunately the word choice is flawed in the middle giving a unfurnished and unhallowed over use of rhyme which discovers a child like mentality of word choice when a more considerate use of words would make the piece stronger in its imagery and provoke a more endearing presence of its voice.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
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anytime ...
Comment from Diana L Crawford
Oh my! This sounds like it's a pretty good dream happening here with a flushed face and pulse elevated! Great imagery created here with only the twenty words!
Thanks! I enjoyed reading! xoxo
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Oh my! This sounds like it's a pretty good dream happening here with a flushed face and pulse elevated! Great imagery created here with only the twenty words!
Thanks! I enjoyed reading! xoxo
Comment Written 29-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Diana, thanks much, I believe dreams are an amazing tapestry from which we can find answers and experience personal growth when we take the time or make the effort to sit with the content of the evening picture shows.
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Yes, I totally agree with that! In fact, I'm writing one today from a dream I had last night! Great job on this! xoxo
Comment from Darlene Franklin
"Wading in thought" - great title for t his poem! I like your water metaphors. You're hard at work and it's taking its toll on your body. Good thing you woke up! Did you write the poem right away?
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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"Wading in thought" - great title for t his poem! I like your water metaphors. You're hard at work and it's taking its toll on your body. Good thing you woke up! Did you write the poem right away?
Comment Written 29-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Darlene. yes I awoke at 2:30 AM and immediately went to the computer and recorded this. For me, dreams are an amazing tapestry from which I can find answers and experience personal growth when I take the time or make the effort to sit with the content of the evening picture shows.
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I love hearing the stories behind the poems.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello JLR
You twenty word poem entry for the contest.
Your dream sounds refreshing, too bad you woke up.
Smiles to the rhyming. Gert
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Hello JLR
You twenty word poem entry for the contest.
Your dream sounds refreshing, too bad you woke up.
Smiles to the rhyming. Gert
Comment Written 29-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Gert, thank you! For me, dreams are an amazing tapestry from which I can find answers and experience personal growth when I take the time or make the effort to sit with the content of the evening picture shows.
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You are welcome JLR
Gert
Comment from Harley Dayman Rayne Quinn
The picture of the moon is extraordinary and reminds of movies I have seen. As for the poem it was good but didn't compare
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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The picture of the moon is extraordinary and reminds of movies I have seen. As for the poem it was good but didn't compare
Comment Written 29-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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For me, the subject has inspired this writer for thirty-seven years. There is always something new and fresh to uncover under every moon phase.
