Reviews from

Love Long Distance

Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Crazy Over You! - Chapter 14"
A Wartime Romance

27 total reviews 
Comment from Sasha
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I especially like the part that highlights Cathy's hospital stay. I could not only feel her pain from being separated from Bill, but her genuine concern for the women patient in the padded room. The conversation Cathy had with her doctor upon discharge about 'our little secret' is a hint as how this chapter ends with 'Could I possibly be . . . .' I believe she is and this opens up many opportunities that can develop the storyline.

 Comment Written 24-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
    Love your detailed comments here, Sasha! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this chapter. Your continued support means a lot to us! A double "SALUTE" to you! Stay tuned for the next chapter. It's in the works and coming soon. Wishing you a wonderful upcoming weekend. God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
reply by Sasha on 25-Oct-2019
    Yes, I enjoyed this chapter.
Comment from Elaine Chiodi
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Believable dialog and a great "hanger" at the end of the chapter. Well written illustration of emotional turmoil during times of stress, as war usually is to all involved. Your final notes verify all the details in your story and serve as reminders to those of us who lived through those times but ave forgotten specific wording and dates. (Yeah, I'm old...). ...ec

 Comment Written 24-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
    We're only as old as we feel. Well...okay, sometimes we feel old! :) Thank you so much, Elaine, for stopping by to read and review this chapter. Your comments are great! We are so glad you enjoyed the notes, as well as the story. HURRAH! We hope you continue to follow along. Chapter 15 is in the works and coming soon. Wishing you a wonderful upcoming weekend. God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a beautifully penned story, my friends. I have depression and have been hospitalized in the past. I had ECT's in 2000, basically against my will as they told me I had to to be released. They did not help, in fact made things worse. The greatest help I have received is by discovering the value of writing, and networking here with other writers~Debbie

 Comment Written 24-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
    Hi Debbie! Thank you SO MUCH for the AWESOME 6 star rating and review, our friend! A double "SALUTE!" Thank you also for sharing about your depression and the value of writing. Reading your profile, we can see that you reach out and help others through your books. God Bless You! Please keep the faith and keep doing the great things you do. We hope you continue to follow along with our novel as we write it. Chapter 15 is in the works and coming soon. Wishing you a wonderful upcoming weekend!
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
Comment from tammy novella
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I enjoyed reading this chapter. I like reading stories like this it reminds me of the stories my Mother shared with us. I want to start from the beginning of your book it's a good read.

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
    Hi Tammy! First of all, welcome to FanStory! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this chapter. We're so glad you enjoyed it. Happy to hear you want to start from the beginning of this book because you find it a good read. We encourage you to do so, and also hope you continue to follow along. Chapter 15 is in the works and coming soon. Have a great upcoming weekend. God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I was wondering about a possible pregnancy myself. I do know that happened often too. I do like this story and the story you tell brings it all to life.

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
    Hi Barbara! Yes, we even wonder since the next chapter isn't completed yet (but it's in the works). We'll find out soon! :) Thanks so much for reading and reviewing this. Also, a BIG THANK YOU for your continued support. We're glad you like the story and it comes to life as you read it. HURRAH! Wishing you a great upcoming weekend! God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi to the two of you. The love story of yours is coming along very nicely. So at least, she's now out of the hospital, and now what. I suppose, I just have to be patient. All best. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
    Hi Ulla! Patience, patience! LOL Your continued support means a lot to us. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this chapter. We're glad you are enjoying the story and feel it is coming along very nicely. You won't have to wait long to find out what happens next. We're all ready working on Chapter 15 and it's coming soon. Wishing you a great upcoming weekend! God Bless and all best!
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy :)))
Comment from Darlene Franklin
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I loved the many details from the 60s that you included. You build them so naturally into the story, about smoking and Patsy Cline's song. The same song could play today, the same comment made, but then it was raw and new. I'm only glad your heroine didn't get stuck in the hospital!

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
    Hi Darlene! We both thank you for reading and reviewing Chapter 14 of Love Long Distance. We're so glad you love the details from the 60s, and they flow naturally throughout the story. Your comments and continued support mean a great deal to us. A "SALUTE!" We hope you come back for Chapter 15. It's in the works and coming soon. Wishing you a wonderful upcoming weekend. God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is an excellent chapter in your collaborative novel, Cathy and Bill. First of all, I commend both for the research in anchoring the setting to its time period of 1964. All of the included videos had a profound effect on the culture of the time. PCline's 'Crazy' is by far the best recording of that song. The two connected to medicine/hospitals show the impact of the media with cigarettes being touted everywhere and the psychiatric hospital being a step up from those of the late 19th/early 20th century when they were most often referred to as asylums with horrendous conditions. The novel 'One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest' is a great tie-in. The history of 'Amazing Grace' adds more depth to that song.

I like the 'previously' that reminds readers of the earlier chapter, but more of Bill's deep love for Cathy. The part that highlights Cathy's hospital stay was well-written. Readers can feel not only her pain and anguish of being separated from Bill, but her genuine concern for the women patient in the padded room. The conversation Cathy had with her doctor upon discharge about 'our little secret' is a hint as how this chapter ends with 'Could I possibly be . . . .' (yes, she probably is which opens up many avenues to develop along that storyline).

Readers feel Bill's longing and worry about Cathy's hospitalization and the fact that he can't be there. What a wise man Grandpa is to handle that situation while at the same time dealing with Cathy's issues.

I like how the willow tree plays such a meaningful role in Bill and Cathy's relationship. Of course, it holds special memories for both and is comforting for Cathy to be there while Bill is away.

I like how this chapter focused on Cathy and Bill's relationship. Readers know that Bill is in training/VietNam. Bill's conversation with Grandpa shows his concern for, love of, and frustration with him being away while Grandpa is a constant as he tries to keep everyone on an even keel. Bill's phone call to Cathy was perfect. She needed to hear from him as much as he needed to hear from her at this time.

Thanks, Bill and Cathy for sharing. Excellent!
I look forward to the next chapter.

Respectfully with Love and Admiration, Laura Jan


 Comment Written 23-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
    Hi Jan! Wow! What an awesome, detailed review! You put a lot of time and thought into your comments and they are greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for your continued support, for reading and reviewing this chapter, and for all your help along the way. We really appreciate all you do. So glad you found this excellent and are looking forward to the next chapter. It is already in the works and coming soon. Wishing you a wonderful weekend. Gold Bless.
    Respectfully with Love and Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
    Thank you also for the shiny six star! A double "SALUTE" to you!
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Cathy and Bill,

This chapter makes a nice addition to your story. I am glad Cathy is doing better and gonna be coming home. Home is always a better place to recover, in my opinion. --wink-- Family will do you much better than that crazy, busy, impersonal hospital atmosphere. ha

Some notes:
1.) (")The Surgeon General says, 'cigarette smoking is dangerous.'"

2.) "It must be Grandma or Grandpa," (I) responded.

3.) "Hello?" I said into the mouthpiece.
--> why did you add stars, skip spaces and change fonts if this is still Cathy's POV?
--> Wouldn't it just continue from the therapy group after skipping a line and starting a new paragraph?
--> the convo with the doctor, too, is in Cathy's POV, so it seems like it should be in the same font. A bit confusing.

4.) Of course, because of things that may or may not be, we both
--> HUH?
--> this is a doctor, but I do not think this is doctor 'speak'. First of all, it doesn't make much sense and second, as I said, it simply doesn't sound like 'doctorese' -- consider an edit?

5.) we both decided you'd try to get through this depression without medication.
--> as a person who has dealt with depression, bi polar, and doctors/psychiatrists for far too much of my life, I can tell you with confidence that a doc would probably NOT say this like the patient helped make the decision. Doctors like to make all the decisions OR at least make it appear that way. It might sound more like:
--> I understand how you feel about medications, Cathy, and so as long as I feel we can keep those disquieting emotions controlled through meditation and stretching exercises and the like, I will agree to let you go home to this safe and quiet environment I've talked with your grandfather about.

BUT if anything upsets or disturbs you, Cathy, and I mean Anything, I want to see you back here immediately so we can discuss our options and the possibilty of mild medications, again. Do you understand and agree?
--> Even if he let her be in on the decision-making process, he would want to make it look like HE was the final decision maker. See what I mean?

6.) The ending was a little confusing. When she and the doctor had a secret, of course, I thought she was pregnant. But then, when she got dizzy and she questioned it -- like the thought of pregnancy had just come to her and she'd never considered it before.... THAT left me rather baffled.

That's it. Otherwise, a nicely written post that I enjoyed. Thanks!



 Comment Written 23-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
    Hi Robyn! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing this chapter. Your continued support means a lot to us. A BIG THANK YOU, also, for your editing help! Your comments are great and extremely helpful. As you will see, changes have been made. God Bless You! Chapter 15 is in the works and coming soon. Wishing you a wonderful upcoming weekend!
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
Comment from Mistydawn
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I thought I was going to make it through tearless, but you proved me wrong. I hope Bill comes back safe and they live happily ever after. I did find one very minor flaw. i responded. Great job as always. I love all the research to your references at the end.

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
    Uh-Oh! Hope you bought some tissues! We're glad you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for reading and reviewing it. Also, thank you for the continued support. We really appreciate you pointing out the minor flaw. Fixed! So glad you also enjoyed the research. Chapter 15 is in the works and coming soon. Wishing you a wonderful upcoming weekend. God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy