Reviews from

Love Long Distance

Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Till Death Do Us Part -Chapter 7"
A Wartime Romance

34 total reviews 
Comment from Earl Corp
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Did I read the rabid dog story in another post? It seemed familar to me. I hope she has a nice visit with Billy and that he's going to be ok. Can't wait to read the next installment.

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 20-Jul-2019
    Hi Earl!
    Thanks so much for reading and reviewing Chapter 7 of Love Long Distance. We really appreciate that you are following along and are looking forward to the next chapter. Your support means a great deal to us. Yes, you've read about Billy and a rabid dog in A Pocket Full of Hard Times (another co-authored book). The story isn't exact here, but similar. We did mention in our Chapter 2 notes that we may use previously published poems. We will also, from time to time, consider using excepts from previously published prose. That's what we did here. Very observant of you! Wishing you a wonderful weekend. Chapter 8 is currently in the works and will be posted soon.
    God Bless,
    Bill & Cathy
Comment from Patty Palmer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I've been enjoying your chapters as you post them. And the story grows!
I didn't notice anything that looked or sounded out of place. Words spelled correctly.
Good job!

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 17-Jul-2019
    Hi Patty!
    So happy you are enjoying the chapters! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this one. Chapter 8 is in the works and coming soon. We really appreciate your comments, and we're glad everything looks good to you. Wishing you all the best.
    God Bless,
    Bill & Cathy
reply by Patty Palmer on 18-Jul-2019
    You are welcome. I ill be watching for chapter 8
Comment from Commando
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A "SALUTE," Cathy! Normality is a behavior that can be normal for an individual when it is consistent with the most common behavior for that person. As a rule, I don't review (publicly) chapters of a book that I am co-authoring. However, Chapter 7 of "Love Long Distance" is above and beyond the rule. Therefore, I'm gonna stand-up today... and say, "Your writing is "ASTONISHING!" It is an honor writing at your side--"You betcha!" Please, keep your quill wet with ink...and your creative juices flowing. Best wishes and God Bless. Respectfully with Admiration, Bill

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 17-Jul-2019
    Hi Bill!
    A "SALUTE" right back atcha! You are an amazing writer and I am thrilled to be co-authoring with YOU! I feel like the luckiest lady alive! I know we both love writing LOVE LONG DISTANCE together, and I know we both are so appreciative of all the suggestions, support and encouragement by other writers here on FanStory. Life is good and full of so many blessings. Dreams do come true! I can't wait to have the book completed and published. It's gonna happen this year!!! And then...book signings together! HURRAH! Best wishes and God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Cathy
reply by Commando on 17-Jul-2019
    A 2nd "SALUTE" right back atcha, Cathy!
Comment from Sally Law
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You two did it again. The Sandra Dee video pushed me over the cliff. The story was just the sweetest thing but my heart broke with the ending. I hope it they are together at last forever. That is what I wish and hope for being the hopeless romantic that I am. I am staying tuned. Superb in every way.
Sending you both my best today with six stars.
Sally xo

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 17-Jul-2019
    Hi Sally!
    Thank you SO MUCH for the AWESOME 6-star rating and review. We are HONORED! We are so glad you enjoyed this chapter, and your detailed comments are great and mean so much to us! Stay the hopeless romantic that you are and send up a prayer for Bill and Cathy. The, stay tuned and see what happens next! Chapter 8 is already in the works and coming soon. Wishing you the best too! :)
    God Bless,
    Bill & Cathy xoxo
Comment from shaffer40
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is going to be a good book, IMO. I love the line about Sandra Dee's hairdo. The depiction of Grandpa and his way of speaking is realistic.

If I may, I have a few suggestions:

had driven for 5 hours nonstop
Suggest: Write out "five"

Pickup as the tires rolled along the road. According to the map, the
mileage from Pigeon Forge, Tennessee to Eglin Air Force Base in
Fort Walton Beach, Florida
States should be set off with commas--both before and after.

The road we were traveling had become rougher with hairpin curves.
I'd suggest a commas or dash or something following "rougher." For
emphasis; they sort of run together.

"Why? Do you need to use the ladies room or something?" He looked over
at me and knew right off why I had asked. "Oh my god, why didn't
you say something earlier?" he remarked.
Suggest: "Why? You need to use the ladies' room or something?" He
shot me a knowing look. "Why didn't you say something earlier?"

"It's alright, Angel! -- "It's all right, Angel!

, to white, and was now red. Suggest: omit commas


 Comment Written 16-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 17-Jul-2019
    Hi There! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this chapter. Also, a BIG THANK YOU for the great suggestions. We really appreciate all the help, and we've made the edits. Your comment that Love Long Distance is going to be a good book means a lot to us! We're so glad you've enjoyed what you've read so far, and we hope you continue to follow along. Chapter 8 is currently in the works and coming soon.
    God Bless,
    Bill & Cathy
reply by shaffer40 on 17-Jul-2019
    You're welcome. I was so pleased to learn that you'd nominated me for reviewer, too.
Comment from Brenda Henderson
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well written engaging story. I enjoyed reading this. I appreciated the story within the story. Excellent narrative storytelling style and beautifully crafted character development as well. Good work!

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    Hi Brenda!
    Glad you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you so much for stopping by to read and review it. Your detailed comments are awesome and much appreciated. Chapter 8 is in the works and coming soon. Wishing you a wonderful week.
    God Bless,
    Bill & Cathy
reply by Brenda Henderson on 16-Jul-2019
    You're very welcome!
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Tootie. As I have said before after reading other chapters, I really do like this story. There were a couple of things in the story I want to comment on. The first is, as a teenager I worked in a filling station and pumping gas at $.29 a gallon. Your $.27 a gallon made me chuckle as I read it. The other touch that I liked is the story written by Bill. Inserting Billy's writing gives insight to what he is like. It really helps to fill-in family relationships. I enjoy stories that have "a story within the story." I'll be waiting for the next chapter. Robert


 Comment Written 15-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    Hi Robert!
    We are so glad you enjoy this story! Thank you so much for coming back to read and review Chapter 7 of Love Long Distance. Your comments are great! That you pointed out what you like best in the chapter means a lot to us, and we're glad we gave you a chuckle, as well as a good memory. So glad you will be back for Chapter 8. It is already in the works and coming soon.
    God Bless,
    Bill & Cathy
Comment from Jerome Goldberg
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very well written. It is engaging and sucks the reader in. Excellent character development. Although a chapter in a book, it is perfectly suited as a stand alone short story or an episode in an ongoing series. Very enjoyable.

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    Hi Jerome!
    Your comments are great! That you say this chapter is well written, engaging and "sucks the reader in" means so much to us. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this chapter. We are so glad you enjoyed it! We hope you continue to follow along. Chapter 8 is in the works and coming soon.
    God Bless,
    Bill & Cathy
Comment from JLR
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Writers, I jumped into your chapter without the pervious back story. I am now hooked and will unravel this soon to be published? Work....I hope I am not first to tell you how great it was to read this in a font size that renders ease to that of your readers. many great successes!

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    We are so glad you enjoyed this and are hooked! Your comments mean a great deal to us and we are so thankful that you stopped by to read and review Chapter 7 of Love Long Distance. We hope you continue to follow along. Chapter 8 is in the works and coming soon.
    God Bless,
    Bill & Cathy
Comment from Gail Denham
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well done - this chapter reads well - I like that you put in many details. Makes the story come alive - you also fit in dialog naturally which is good also. A couple small thoughts -- I didn't think that men who took tobacco chewed it - do they? Don't they just let it sit in their jaw?
Also when they arrive at the hospital - it's pretty sudden. Could you lead up to that with "Grandpa parked the truck and we ran in the hospital entrance" something like that.
Also I like what Bill's mom said to the girl - but don't think you need "as Jesus wept, so did I" -
anyway - good story.

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    Hi Gail!
    Thanks so much for reading and reviewing this chapter. We're so glad you enjoyed it. We both also want to thank you for your suggestions, and we've made some edits. That you say that the story comes alive means so much to us! Chapter 8 is in the works and coming soon.
    God Bless,
    Bill & Cathy