The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 51 "The Worm Turns"A Novel
29 total reviews
Comment from estory
you maintain Charles' personality and character, his travel writer instincts as he focuses on the anise seed in the water and the pleasant surroundings of the cafes, while he navigates the tension of the secret service proposal to help out with a matter of national import, with many lives hanging in the balance. I don't know if you have enough tension in the descriptions of the more relaxed atmosphere of the street scenes here to correspond with the danger involved in the proposal and the insinuations of excitement to come. I think there has to be more unsettling surroundings here to ratchet up the tension. estory
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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you maintain Charles' personality and character, his travel writer instincts as he focuses on the anise seed in the water and the pleasant surroundings of the cafes, while he navigates the tension of the secret service proposal to help out with a matter of national import, with many lives hanging in the balance. I don't know if you have enough tension in the descriptions of the more relaxed atmosphere of the street scenes here to correspond with the danger involved in the proposal and the insinuations of excitement to come. I think there has to be more unsettling surroundings here to ratchet up the tension. estory
Comment Written 13-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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Thanks for your review of Chapter 51, The Worm Turns - nearly a week ago. I?m a little late in responding, I?m afraid, but no less appreciated for that! I?ll have another look at the balance re tension. All the best, Tony.
Comment from Pantygynt
I have often wondered just how easy it would be to shake off a 'tail'. It is always made to seem easy in fiction whether in book or film form. This was a neat little chapter with which i could find no fault.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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I have often wondered just how easy it would be to shake off a 'tail'. It is always made to seem easy in fiction whether in book or film form. This was a neat little chapter with which i could find no fault.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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Thanks for your review of Chapter 51, The Worm Turns, Jim - nearly a week ago. I?m a little late in responding, I?m afraid, but no less appreciated for that! All the best, Tony.
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A week may be a long time in politics but it is a mere bagatelle on FanStory. Lol
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Tony,
There's a nice circular feel to this instalment, with that last paragraph or so, reminding us of where we've come from in the tale.
Nice to see Charles stand up as well.
Most definitely cricket...
G
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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Hi Tony,
There's a nice circular feel to this instalment, with that last paragraph or so, reminding us of where we've come from in the tale.
Nice to see Charles stand up as well.
Most definitely cricket...
G
Comment Written 13-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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Thanks for your review of Chapter 51, The Worm Turns, Gareth - nearly a week ago. I?m a little late in responding, I?m afraid, but no less appreciated for that! All the best, Tony.
Comment from Jan Anderegg
Very interesting story. It took about two seconds of reading to be pulled right into the plot. In fact, I am sorry I don't have any six stars left or I would give this chapter one. The pace is fast, but easily followed. The characters are intriguing. Dialogue is great. I loved the way Charles Brandon spoke to Commander Bamforth. That was great.
Looking forward to reading more of this story.
Notes:
Re: Closing Paragraphs of Chapter 50.
As she [Madame Durand] let herself out, she added, "You won't forget to bring your passport, will you?"
I think you could say:
As Madame Durand let herself out, she added, "You won't forget to bring your passport, will you?"
It is clear because of the word 'added' that this is the same speaker. It would distract the reader less than the bracketed name.
All the best,
Jan
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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Very interesting story. It took about two seconds of reading to be pulled right into the plot. In fact, I am sorry I don't have any six stars left or I would give this chapter one. The pace is fast, but easily followed. The characters are intriguing. Dialogue is great. I loved the way Charles Brandon spoke to Commander Bamforth. That was great.
Looking forward to reading more of this story.
Notes:
Re: Closing Paragraphs of Chapter 50.
As she [Madame Durand] let herself out, she added, "You won't forget to bring your passport, will you?"
I think you could say:
As Madame Durand let herself out, she added, "You won't forget to bring your passport, will you?"
It is clear because of the word 'added' that this is the same speaker. It would distract the reader less than the bracketed name.
All the best,
Jan
Comment Written 13-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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Thanks for your review of Chapter 51, The Worm Turns, Jan - nearly a week ago. I?m a little late in responding, I?m afraid, but no less appreciated for that! All the best, Tony.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Paragraph One displays his anger at being forced to serve his country and he is going to stand his ground. He decides any assistance he provides will be on his terms, as it should be. He realizes he is being watched by the newspaper man and decides to give him the slip. Good thing those Japanese tourists showed up when they did. Made getting away simple. Many interesting elements at work in this piece as he comes to terms, and stands up to, those trying to strong-arm him. Good use of the French locations to make sure readers know exactly where this story takes place. That better mentally visualizes the scene. Lots of potential directions this story could travel. One to follow.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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Paragraph One displays his anger at being forced to serve his country and he is going to stand his ground. He decides any assistance he provides will be on his terms, as it should be. He realizes he is being watched by the newspaper man and decides to give him the slip. Good thing those Japanese tourists showed up when they did. Made getting away simple. Many interesting elements at work in this piece as he comes to terms, and stands up to, those trying to strong-arm him. Good use of the French locations to make sure readers know exactly where this story takes place. That better mentally visualizes the scene. Lots of potential directions this story could travel. One to follow.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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Many thanks for your review of The Worm Turns last week, Brett. I'm a little behind in responding, I'm afraid. Nonetheless, be assured that I appreciate your comments and the sixth star. Wishing you a very happy Easter. All the best, Tony
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written chapter. Charles make sure there will be no misunderstanding about where he stands against them, he will not be threatened to do what they want him to do.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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A very well-written chapter. Charles make sure there will be no misunderstanding about where he stands against them, he will not be threatened to do what they want him to do.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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Many thanks for your review of The Worm Turns last week, Sandra. I'm a little behind in responding, I'm afraid. Nonetheless, be assured that I appreciate your comments and encouragement. Wishing you a very happy Easter. All the best, Tony
Comment from Spitfire
I can't believe you're still working on this. Again, I enjoy the setting with its sprinkling of familiar landmarks that I have visited in France. I see you've moved from food to drink. LOL
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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I can't believe you're still working on this. Again, I enjoy the setting with its sprinkling of familiar landmarks that I have visited in France. I see you've moved from food to drink. LOL
Comment Written 12-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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Thanks for your review of Chapter 51, The Worm Turns, Shari - nearly a week ago. I?m a little late in responding, I?m afraid, but no less appreciated for that! All the best, Tony.
Comment from djsaxon
Hi Tony. I am not gonna crap on about the write in terms of form and through narrative, dialogue et al. It's great - end of story. Engaging, every character has there own distinctive 'voice', yah de yah. I enjoy the subtlety in your write eg: the Pastis grab. i look forward to more - DJ.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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Hi Tony. I am not gonna crap on about the write in terms of form and through narrative, dialogue et al. It's great - end of story. Engaging, every character has there own distinctive 'voice', yah de yah. I enjoy the subtlety in your write eg: the Pastis grab. i look forward to more - DJ.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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Many thanks for your review of The Worm Turns last week. I'm a little behind in responding, I'm afraid. Nonetheless, be assured that I appreciate your comments and the sixth star. Wishing you a very happy Easter. All the best, Tony
Comment from WryWriter
Absolutely brilliant! I enjoyed this read from the first word until the last word. Intrigue comes to mind. I still have this feeling there is a mystery in this yet to show itself. Great work!
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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Absolutely brilliant! I enjoyed this read from the first word until the last word. Intrigue comes to mind. I still have this feeling there is a mystery in this yet to show itself. Great work!
Comment Written 12-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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Many thanks for your review of The Worm Turns last week. I'm a little behind in responding, I'm afraid. Nonetheless, be assured that I appreciate your comments and the sixth star. Wishing you a very happy Easter. All the best, Tony
Comment from kiwijenny
Another good chapter...I liked Charles' wave from the train. I am looking forward to him meeting Helen again. She's my favorite character.
Well done again. I'm enjoying your foray into novel writing..it's ahhh novel .lol
God bless
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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Another good chapter...I liked Charles' wave from the train. I am looking forward to him meeting Helen again. She's my favorite character.
Well done again. I'm enjoying your foray into novel writing..it's ahhh novel .lol
God bless
Comment Written 12-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2019
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Thanks for your review of Chapter 51, The Worm Turns, Jenny - nearly a week ago. I?m a little late in responding, I?m afraid, but no less appreciated for that! All the best, Tony.