Starfish?!
some iambic quatrains15 total reviews
Comment from humpwhistle
Til heartache joins the dusty past.
That's what's written, Red. We all meet around the Maypole, eventually.
Wriggle and squirm as we may, the die is cast.
I feel for your regretful young man.
Could it be that coming to grips with our regrets is the lesson? The point?
Just a thought.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
  |
Til heartache joins the dusty past.
That's what's written, Red. We all meet around the Maypole, eventually.
Wriggle and squirm as we may, the die is cast.
I feel for your regretful young man.
Could it be that coming to grips with our regrets is the lesson? The point?
Just a thought.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 16-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
-
When the pee pill and blocker gang up on me and the BP is double digits I feel like the lad in the poem. Thanks for reading my verses, Lee...about the only thing I'd change about my life is I. Never take a boss job. 2. Start writing before my seventieth birthday...
-
Red, you write like you were born to it.
I've been a boss. I've had several. None of us was worth a kite on a calm day. If I had it to do again, half of me would vote to lay low. The other half would raise hell. I don't see a lot of change. L
Comment from damommy
You've taken from his youth to his elder years when he can look back at what he should/shouldn't have done. We do a lot of that at this time of life. As always, Red, excellent meter and rhyme.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
 |
You've taken from his youth to his elder years when he can look back at what he should/shouldn't have done. We do a lot of that at this time of life. As always, Red, excellent meter and rhyme.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
-
I guess I did reasonably well, thanks to parents and wife, so that I seldom feel like the guy in my poem...but on blue days...thanks very much for reading and reviewing, and bless you for feeling I earned a six!
Comment from Michele Harber
Your comments at the end made me understand your title: "... But the stars we could reach were just starfish on the beach." Have I just dated myself?? I admire the way you sustained your four seasons metaphor to reflect the stages of life. Of course, I'm now thoroughly depressed, but at least that means your depictions of heartache, regret, aging and death are effective. Your rhymes work well, and your descriptions are very vivid and emotive.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
|
Your comments at the end made me understand your title: "... But the stars we could reach were just starfish on the beach." Have I just dated myself?? I admire the way you sustained your four seasons metaphor to reflect the stages of life. Of course, I'm now thoroughly depressed, but at least that means your depictions of heartache, regret, aging and death are effective. Your rhymes work well, and your descriptions are very vivid and emotive.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
-
If you first heard the song by the Kingston trio, you did date yourself. A chap named Terry Jacks redid the song years later...old guys like me get moods when the winter makes them stay inside...thanks for reading and reviewing my verses.
-
I wasn't aware that the Kingston Trio had recorded the song, but I had the Terry Jacks single so, yes, I'm still dating myself. I'm not sure my teenage daughter realizes records ever existed.
Comment from QC Poet
Seems a bit of a lament of conquests not persuded in younger days. Interesting concept and Well thought out visual picturesque verses. Thank you for sharing this poem.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
|
Seems a bit of a lament of conquests not persuded in younger days. Interesting concept and Well thought out visual picturesque verses. Thank you for sharing this poem.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
-
Thank you very much for reading and reviewing my verses.
Comment from Pantygynt
I discovered the Kingston Trio in 1963 and indirectly the group were responsible for my learning to play the guitar and my involvement in folk music which has endured over the fifty six years since then. For me they were always in the sun on some beach and never got anywhere near the damp grey fall, but then I only ever had one album of theirs on an old vinyl 33. I can't recall what it was called. I think it went the same way as my wife.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
|
I discovered the Kingston Trio in 1963 and indirectly the group were responsible for my learning to play the guitar and my involvement in folk music which has endured over the fifty six years since then. For me they were always in the sun on some beach and never got anywhere near the damp grey fall, but then I only ever had one album of theirs on an old vinyl 33. I can't recall what it was called. I think it went the same way as my wife.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
-
Somewhere in a plastic tote in a delapidated empty dwelling (once my mother's)are three Kingston Trio albums, all badly worn by needles...someday Georgia's Estate Recovery can have a yard sale...thanks very much for reading and reviewing. (Medicaid tries to bill the estate of patients they fund. Trump could not afford modern medicine.)