Act of Endurance
Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "Crystal"Dawn of Chaos
27 total reviews
Comment from May 1
I love the idea this poem conveys, it's such a wonderful notion. It was easier for me to understand than the previous one I read, but at times your sentence structure was a bit confusing, as well as the tenses. Overall, I love the idea you wanted to convey. I feel like you chose just the right comparison although grammar can use some revising.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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I love the idea this poem conveys, it's such a wonderful notion. It was easier for me to understand than the previous one I read, but at times your sentence structure was a bit confusing, as well as the tenses. Overall, I love the idea you wanted to convey. I feel like you chose just the right comparison although grammar can use some revising.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Thanking you for the heads up, enduring grammar my greatest flaw, appreciating comments as your to assist improvements. Thanking you for your generous rate and informative views.
Comment from Raul1
I have enjoyed reading this poem. I like how it is written. It is interesting and unique. Very good work! Nice job. It has emotions and feelings to it. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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I have enjoyed reading this poem. I like how it is written. It is interesting and unique. Very good work! Nice job. It has emotions and feelings to it. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 29-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Glad aspects in this particular read captured your interests. Thanking you for your generous rate and touching viewpoints.
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You're welcome
Comment from Sandra Ludwick
Thank you for sharing your thoughts through your poem. I enjoyed reading it and found it to be very creatively done. Good luck on the poetry contest.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts through your poem. I enjoyed reading it and found it to be very creatively done. Good luck on the poetry contest.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Far from qualifying for any contest, doing further revisions might come close to making this hop. Thanking you for your kind thoughts and generous rate.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
The concept of the heart being like a crystal is quite relevant and clever. Crystals energize as does the heart. Crystals transmit as the heart is said to transmit and absorb emotion. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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The concept of the heart being like a crystal is quite relevant and clever. Crystals energize as does the heart. Crystals transmit as the heart is said to transmit and absorb emotion. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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Glad aspects in this work were appealing to your interests thanking you for your generous rate and touching views.
Comment from Fred Fitzsimmons
Nicely written, however, I found it difficult to tie it all back to the crystal visual until reaching the last line. The fifth stanza didn't work for me. Though I understand the objective of that line, I felt it was a reach. With a bit more work, I think this could be massaged into a more meaningful message to the reader.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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Nicely written, however, I found it difficult to tie it all back to the crystal visual until reaching the last line. The fifth stanza didn't work for me. Though I understand the objective of that line, I felt it was a reach. With a bit more work, I think this could be massaged into a more meaningful message to the reader.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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I appreciate your shout trying to tie in all pieces in this write finding reviewers statements a big aid to that guest. Thanking you dispute given flaws for your generous rate and welcomed comments,
Comment from JLR
I regret that I found the need to read this piece over and over yet once again. However, as I slowed my pace and spent time savoring the context much like verse I found space and clarity come forth. If I have a six to give this week I would certainly done so. Good works, good results!
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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I regret that I found the need to read this piece over and over yet once again. However, as I slowed my pace and spent time savoring the context much like verse I found space and clarity come forth. If I have a six to give this week I would certainly done so. Good works, good results!
Comment Written 19-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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I'm applying revision to enhance its read hopefully my efforts will achieve this write particular goal. Thanking you dispute given flaws for your generous rate and charming consideration for its features.
Comment from Eve Vasa
Hi, you have obviously given this a lot of thought and for that you are to be commended. I also like your picture, however, your grammar in here needs a lot of help and makes the poem very confusing to read. In other words, this needs a lot of improvement, hence the two star rating. So much so, I wondered if English was your first language.
I don't adhere to the idea that if you can't give a work five stars, move on to another work. I am of the belief that you have put this out for others to review and how are you going to know what your poetry is like if someone doesn't give it an honest review. So, this is probably the most honest review you will receive on this site as so many bow to the pressure of a friendly fiver. And you can see who they are by just scrolling down and seeing five after five after five, with a lot of people here muting people that give honest feedback, so if you are one of those feel free to mute me as I am of the attitude that I am just getting rid of people that are wasting my time.
Heart a total crystal it without a blemish cuts a let or take no part of a judgement per your say a start or stopped had fate.
What the!!!!! I have no idea what you are trying to say in the above sentence so I can't even rewrite it for you. And it goes on like this through the entire poem leaving this reader nothing but confused.
I suggest you have a think about what you are trying to convey and then go about it in the straightest line possible. Being a man of science, or woman of science, you should be able to do that. Just get rid of the dross.
Sorry I couldn't gain more of an insight to help you edit, but if you get back to me after you've changed the above verse, I will re-read and re-rate. Cheers, and have a good one, Eve.
(I don't post here, I read only as I don't want endless meaningless fivers, but I do write for a living and my review is genuine.)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2019
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Hi, you have obviously given this a lot of thought and for that you are to be commended. I also like your picture, however, your grammar in here needs a lot of help and makes the poem very confusing to read. In other words, this needs a lot of improvement, hence the two star rating. So much so, I wondered if English was your first language.
I don't adhere to the idea that if you can't give a work five stars, move on to another work. I am of the belief that you have put this out for others to review and how are you going to know what your poetry is like if someone doesn't give it an honest review. So, this is probably the most honest review you will receive on this site as so many bow to the pressure of a friendly fiver. And you can see who they are by just scrolling down and seeing five after five after five, with a lot of people here muting people that give honest feedback, so if you are one of those feel free to mute me as I am of the attitude that I am just getting rid of people that are wasting my time.
Heart a total crystal it without a blemish cuts a let or take no part of a judgement per your say a start or stopped had fate.
What the!!!!! I have no idea what you are trying to say in the above sentence so I can't even rewrite it for you. And it goes on like this through the entire poem leaving this reader nothing but confused.
I suggest you have a think about what you are trying to convey and then go about it in the straightest line possible. Being a man of science, or woman of science, you should be able to do that. Just get rid of the dross.
Sorry I couldn't gain more of an insight to help you edit, but if you get back to me after you've changed the above verse, I will re-read and re-rate. Cheers, and have a good one, Eve.
(I don't post here, I read only as I don't want endless meaningless fivers, but I do write for a living and my review is genuine.)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2019
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Being God I will accept this voew, being repetitious I have to consider intents acknowledging I do have problem knowing such cruelness could never aid. Thanking you for your generous rate dispute given flaws.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
It was placed to be right, but circumstantially something else happened, convict could not be detected, all left before fate; well said, well done. Keep writing -- DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2019
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It was placed to be right, but circumstantially something else happened, convict could not be detected, all left before fate; well said, well done. Keep writing -- DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 11-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2019
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I'm loving your response encouraging making the lion in me to try harder to achieve accomplishment, thanking you again for your generous rate and patience.
Comment from Habib Oke
It's well written. However you need more corrections on your composition. Your verbiage is somewhat distorting which doesn't give your poem the meaning it's meant to communicate. Check your tenses and the proper usage of words. Best of luck.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2019
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It's well written. However you need more corrections on your composition. Your verbiage is somewhat distorting which doesn't give your poem the meaning it's meant to communicate. Check your tenses and the proper usage of words. Best of luck.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2019
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Thanks for the heads up, learning correct presented grammar, making revisions. Thanking you for your generous rate dispute given flaws.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
The heart has the power to love and also to hate, it can be broken and it can be healed. Likening to a crystal is a clever way to describe the heart as it is precious and delicate can easily be crushed, if we involve some heartfelt thought in dealing with our problems, then we may make friends of enemies, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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The heart has the power to love and also to hate, it can be broken and it can be healed. Likening to a crystal is a clever way to describe the heart as it is precious and delicate can easily be crushed, if we involve some heartfelt thought in dealing with our problems, then we may make friends of enemies, love Dolly x
Comment Written 24-May-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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Well spoken, pleased aspects in this particular write were appealing to your interests, thanking you for your generous rate and touching views.