Guilt By Association, Chapter Two
The cross-examination of the heart continues.15 total reviews
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
To lose ones Mother and Father (one's)
could not--loose his brother again. (lose)
An excellent chapter to this novellette. Well written and makes the reader want to read more. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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To lose ones Mother and Father (one's)
could not--loose his brother again. (lose)
An excellent chapter to this novellette. Well written and makes the reader want to read more. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 08-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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Thank you so much. I will fix those now. I cannot tell you how many times type lose and loose interchangeably. Oh dear!
All my best,
Sally
Comment from Grace Fletcher
I like how the characters have been portrayed here. You made this couple seem so sweet. I noticed a few mistakes in the text but not enough to lose a star (I'm reviewing on my phone and can't make notes!) my one comment really would be that I am not a big fan of present tense story telling. I'm not sure if it is your intention to publish this outside of fanstory but I have been published with three publishing houses in the last 7 years and they tend not to accept present tense narrative. However if you find this is working best for you, then totally ignore me! :)
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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I like how the characters have been portrayed here. You made this couple seem so sweet. I noticed a few mistakes in the text but not enough to lose a star (I'm reviewing on my phone and can't make notes!) my one comment really would be that I am not a big fan of present tense story telling. I'm not sure if it is your intention to publish this outside of fanstory but I have been published with three publishing houses in the last 7 years and they tend not to accept present tense narrative. However if you find this is working best for you, then totally ignore me! :)
Comment Written 08-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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Thank you Grace, for the excellent review. I am a Christian eschatology writer and mainly do articles for websites and stay within Bible-themed posts and articles like that. This type of writing is brand new for me so I am growing in it. I prefer, right now anyway, to write in the present tense. Thank you very much for your honesty. I will definitely keep your advice close to my heart. I do value your experienced opinion.
All my best,
Sally
Comment from Nanny 6
Good second chapter for the novelette contest my friend... You are developing your characters quite nicely to where I can get a feel for him and know their personalities. You also describe the surrounding scenery beautifully :-) . As I'm reading, I'm starting to be curious about the brother if he's involved in the crime in anyway, that would be the twist I'm looking for haha... and I'm wondering if Mrs. black passed out on the witness stand LOL Good chapter, an enjoyable read
Judy
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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Good second chapter for the novelette contest my friend... You are developing your characters quite nicely to where I can get a feel for him and know their personalities. You also describe the surrounding scenery beautifully :-) . As I'm reading, I'm starting to be curious about the brother if he's involved in the crime in anyway, that would be the twist I'm looking for haha... and I'm wondering if Mrs. black passed out on the witness stand LOL Good chapter, an enjoyable read
Judy
Comment Written 08-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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You are so good! But, you know, I can?t tell you a thing! I have to keep you coming back. Thank you for the excellent review. I am delighted you like it.
All my best,
Sally
Comment from royowen
I enjoyed this well written and sometimes poignant episode, relatively long for a single episode, there was a lot to absorb, from the main protagonist Jared Alman, who has been searchong for his siblings, after his parents were killed in a car accident, Marie takes a phone call from someone arranging a meeting with Jared's long lost twin. Later, there was the case that Jared was involved with that Leonard Smith was involved with at a crucial point. Well done, a lot happening in this episode. Good characters, good plot, probably a bit much for a drop in like me. Well done, good writing, blessings, Roy
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reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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I enjoyed this well written and sometimes poignant episode, relatively long for a single episode, there was a lot to absorb, from the main protagonist Jared Alman, who has been searchong for his siblings, after his parents were killed in a car accident, Marie takes a phone call from someone arranging a meeting with Jared's long lost twin. Later, there was the case that Jared was involved with that Leonard Smith was involved with at a crucial point. Well done, a lot happening in this episode. Good characters, good plot, probably a bit much for a drop in like me. Well done, good writing, blessings, Roy
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Comment Written 08-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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Thank you Roy. I appreciate your input and excellent review. Hopefully, you can read chapter one if you have a chance. I can tell you really read my story, albeit long. My favorite book is the Bible, and novel favorite is Les Miserables. I think I like long, meaty stories with spiritual depth.
Blessings,
Sally
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If you read the bible Sally, you certainly do read meaty books, it takes awhile to get, but certainly worth the effort. I haven't read Les Mis. But know the storyline well, it's a little bible- like itself. Blessings
Comment from Mistydawn
It sounds like someone got to the witness, maybe scared her, threatened to harm her if she testified. That's my guess anyhow. It's very well-written, interesting, descriptive. You make the reader feel like they're there. The dialogue and characters seem real. I like how you expanded on the trial let new readers know what's going on. Good luck with your contest.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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It sounds like someone got to the witness, maybe scared her, threatened to harm her if she testified. That's my guess anyhow. It's very well-written, interesting, descriptive. You make the reader feel like they're there. The dialogue and characters seem real. I like how you expanded on the trial let new readers know what's going on. Good luck with your contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2018
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Thank you so much for the excellent review. This novella has been a lot of fun for me. I am so glad you were drawn in to the story.
All my best,
Sally