I wouldn't holler sooey
Potlatch lacharta16 total reviews
Comment from tfawcus
Nice sting in the tail of this one. It's a bit of a wake up call when you start to realise that you are rapidly becoming dead, ahead of the event. Easy to happen when you're 'retired'.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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Nice sting in the tail of this one. It's a bit of a wake up call when you start to realise that you are rapidly becoming dead, ahead of the event. Easy to happen when you're 'retired'.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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Old AEH put it well, thews that cumber sunlit pallets never thrive, clay lies still but blood's a rover. I admit the freedom of choosing to sleep late is something I like, though I seldom actually do it. Thanks much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Pamusart
Hi Red. Do din and yen rhyme where you are? They don't here but I could see another dialect pronouncing them the same. Your meter as usual is impeccable. That is why the six stars. The content was also remarkable I have only one tiny suggestion. To use butt-ugly instead of buttugly. It seems to me to soften the sound of butt which should be feminine but is normally masculine. Brilliant poem. Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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Hi Red. Do din and yen rhyme where you are? They don't here but I could see another dialect pronouncing them the same. Your meter as usual is impeccable. That is why the six stars. The content was also remarkable I have only one tiny suggestion. To use butt-ugly instead of buttugly. It seems to me to soften the sound of butt which should be feminine but is normally masculine. Brilliant poem. Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 19-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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yes den din and yen all rhyme in my dialect, of course a yen is an urge, not a nipponese coin...Yep, Redd Foxx's word should be hyphenated. Missed it. Not a bad form, that La Charta, I may use it again sometime. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing. And hurrah for the six.
Comment from robyn corum
Red,
Such a yummy piece on the joys of laziness. (Though it can sometimes get you in a bit of trouble.)
Favorite lines are:
Conniving villains, hand in glove--
buttugly maidens seeking love--
loud cars below and jets above--
the yapping cur and hooting dove--
the world zips on at fearful pace.
I pull the quilt up o'er my face.
*
I enjoyed!
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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Red,
Such a yummy piece on the joys of laziness. (Though it can sometimes get you in a bit of trouble.)
Favorite lines are:
Conniving villains, hand in glove--
buttugly maidens seeking love--
loud cars below and jets above--
the yapping cur and hooting dove--
the world zips on at fearful pace.
I pull the quilt up o'er my face.
*
I enjoyed!
Comment Written 19-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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I wonder how I survived sleeping under a sheet, two quilts and a bedspread in days of old, in houses that dipped near freezing when the fire went out in the fireplace...I was tougher then. Now I sleep in two spurts, with no regular timing, which makes pizza for breakfast okay...thanks for reading and reviewing my La Charta attempt...
Comment from Ricky1024
This was well written with great theme and imagery.
It flowed well and read well with no grammar issues as well.
Adjective Content was aligned well with Objective Content and Descriptive Measures were perfect.
Dr Ricky 1024.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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This was well written with great theme and imagery.
It flowed well and read well with no grammar issues as well.
Adjective Content was aligned well with Objective Content and Descriptive Measures were perfect.
Dr Ricky 1024.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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The La Charta is one of the more useful forms presented as a challenge by the potlatch club. I do enjoy having the option of rolling over and going back to sleep, but I seldom do it....thanks very much for reading and reviewing
Comment from Gloria ....
Ha, I must admit this form is a ton of fun. It reads like a charm and I did pause for just once second on buttugly until I realized what the word is.
A great fun poem for the potlatch, Ellijay.
Much enjoyed.
Gloria
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reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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Ha, I must admit this form is a ton of fun. It reads like a charm and I did pause for just once second on buttugly until I realized what the word is.
A great fun poem for the potlatch, Ellijay.
Much enjoyed.
Gloria
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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Redd Foxx on Sanford and Son introduced me to the concept of butt-ugly, a shock to one who thought the female posterior was a major work of art in most cases...thanks very much for reading and reviewing my attack on the La Charta form.
Comment from meeshu
I like this one as I am newly retired myself. I believe I will like retirement if it is like this. all I do now is write. a great poem and an eye-opener, Red...............meeshu
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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I like this one as I am newly retired myself. I believe I will like retirement if it is like this. all I do now is write. a great poem and an eye-opener, Red...............meeshu
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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It took me a time to adapt to not hearing the alarm clock, to forgetting that hair raising commute to work, and I still don't get much more than eight hours a day of sleep. But if I choose to, I can. Freedom. Thanks much for reading and reviewing.
