I Had My Chance
If given the chance, what would you do with it?18 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
Sympathy? The creep gets none from me. He wants to live any way he wants to, but others don't have that privilege. If he had a chance he'd do the same thing--kill his wife in cold blood. He doesn't care what happens to him if he does it in front of so many witnesses. You might explain about the hanging (Is the story in the past?) Excellent use of setting and dialogue. Best of luck in the contest. judi
reply by the author on 28-May-2018
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Sympathy? The creep gets none from me. He wants to live any way he wants to, but others don't have that privilege. If he had a chance he'd do the same thing--kill his wife in cold blood. He doesn't care what happens to him if he does it in front of so many witnesses. You might explain about the hanging (Is the story in the past?) Excellent use of setting and dialogue. Best of luck in the contest. judi
Comment Written 26-May-2018
reply by the author on 28-May-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this little story. Appreciate the compliment on the use of setting and dialogue. Also appreciate you taking the time to read this tale and write such an insightful review.
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You're welcome, and thank you for your lovely comments here. judi
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Hi Brett,
Wow! True grit all the way.
Well plotted to flow freely throughout and to deliver a punch I didn't see coming.
He certainly was decisive in thought and action when he felt he'd been wronged -
the mark of a strong character. Good luck in the contest.
******
:-) Shirley
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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Hi Brett,
Wow! True grit all the way.
Well plotted to flow freely throughout and to deliver a punch I didn't see coming.
He certainly was decisive in thought and action when he felt he'd been wronged -
the mark of a strong character. Good luck in the contest.
******
:-) Shirley
Comment Written 26-May-2018
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this little tale of a cheater who got his comeuppance. Appreciate your comments and the review.
Comment from emptypage
Brett, this might be in my top favorites of your stories. Well thought out, excellently executed. Nice job.
I totally understand your main character. While I hope never to kill anyone (you never know), I hate cheaters.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2018
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Brett, this might be in my top favorites of your stories. Well thought out, excellently executed. Nice job.
I totally understand your main character. While I hope never to kill anyone (you never know), I hate cheaters.
Comment Written 25-May-2018
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2018
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Thanks. Glad you enjoyed this piece. Appreciate your comments, the six stars, and the review.
Comment from Sankey
Great work mate. Wish you well in the contest. I have to get on and write some more my funny money is bursting at the seams, it seems, hehe. I mostly knew where this was going but there was a small element of surprise,
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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Great work mate. Wish you well in the contest. I have to get on and write some more my funny money is bursting at the seams, it seems, hehe. I mostly knew where this was going but there was a small element of surprise,
Comment Written 25-May-2018
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this little tale of a cheater who got his comeuppance. Appreciate the comments and the review.
Comment from ciliverde
She was in the arms of your ex-lover? Uh oh, that is the worst isn't it, when your wife cheats on you with another woman?! Wouldn't any judge understand you couldn't be blamed, anyone else would have done the same thing?
This sentence seems to lack punctuation...
"It was pain I wanted to watch her suffer."
Anyway, it's a great story and I like how it circles around past and present. Well done, I enjoyed it very much,
Carol
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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She was in the arms of your ex-lover? Uh oh, that is the worst isn't it, when your wife cheats on you with another woman?! Wouldn't any judge understand you couldn't be blamed, anyone else would have done the same thing?
This sentence seems to lack punctuation...
"It was pain I wanted to watch her suffer."
Anyway, it's a great story and I like how it circles around past and present. Well done, I enjoyed it very much,
Carol
Comment Written 25-May-2018
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this little tale about a cheater who got his comeuppance. Appreciate you taking the time to read it and to write a review.
Comment from RodG
You have done a fine job of responding to this prompt. I really found the Narrator to be an engaging chap as he tells us his story. He had plenty of chances both before and after he killed his wife. You interweaves that refrain quite well.
reply by the author on 31-May-2018
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You have done a fine job of responding to this prompt. I really found the Narrator to be an engaging chap as he tells us his story. He had plenty of chances both before and after he killed his wife. You interweaves that refrain quite well.
Comment Written 25-May-2018
reply by the author on 31-May-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this little tale about a cheater who got his comeuppance. Appreciate you taking the time to read it and write a review.
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
As always very well done. I didn't see any errors, though I hope there are many as it would make me feel so much better about my own writing. =} Just kidding, I don't want there to be errors. Really I don't. =} Ain't it just the way. A man can cheat all he wants but if his girlfriend or wife does it and she is dead. If I caught my husband cheating, I'd tie him to the back of my car on a long rope and drag him around for a few days and then dump on his girlfriends lawn and yell "You can have him!" I guess it's a good thing I don't have one. =} Hope you do well in the contest.
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reply by the author on 14-Jul-2018
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As always very well done. I didn't see any errors, though I hope there are many as it would make me feel so much better about my own writing. =} Just kidding, I don't want there to be errors. Really I don't. =} Ain't it just the way. A man can cheat all he wants but if his girlfriend or wife does it and she is dead. If I caught my husband cheating, I'd tie him to the back of my car on a long rope and drag him around for a few days and then dump on his girlfriends lawn and yell "You can have him!" I guess it's a good thing I don't have one. =} Hope you do well in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-May-2018
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2018
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Appreciate your insights and the review.
Comment from apky
What a story, Brett. I could sympathise with the protagonist despite what he did. But the law sees things differently. It does not take emotions into consideration. Perhaps he should have taken his revenge privately instead of a place with witnesses.
In any case I di enjoy the read.
Good luck with the contest.
I couldn't wait to her(hear?) what she told me.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2018
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What a story, Brett. I could sympathise with the protagonist despite what he did. But the law sees things differently. It does not take emotions into consideration. Perhaps he should have taken his revenge privately instead of a place with witnesses.
In any case I di enjoy the read.
Good luck with the contest.
I couldn't wait to her(hear?) what she told me.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-May-2018
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2018
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Much appreciated.