Reviews from

Alphabet- Loop (A-Z)

An Unrhymed Loop Poem

47 total reviews 
Comment from Galactia
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is an exceptional written poem. An abecedarian and a loop poem. This was your 1st attempt lol you put me to shame. I was litterally about to write a four letter acrostic loop with abcb rhyme scheme on fire. I am still reading some of your poems while I was putting kids to bed. I love mixing different forms together.

You did a great job for your first loop poem.

Regards
Tia

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 20-Nov-2018
    Thank you very much, this was real fun trying to complete this one****kahpot
Comment from Bill O'Bier
Excellent
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Hello there- I loved your "loop" poem and this my favorite part...

Mankind was bestowed a place to nurture
Nurture for all and for all to own
Own for life, both ours and our planet
Planet we've ignored whose willing to quit
Quit on our help while seeing no reason
Reason we failed when many are strong
Strong we can be if we band together

Thanks so much for your work....

Bill~

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 26-Sep-2017
    Thank you for this excellent review****kahpot
Comment from Janet Foor
Excellent
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This is an amazing feat to accomplish. An Acrostic and an Acrostic- Loop combo is definitely different and it made sense as well.

Very nicely done.

Blessings
janet

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 26-Sep-2017
    Thank you very much****kahpot
Comment from dragonpoet
Excellent
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This mix of two forms must have been hard to do. It explains what we are doing to our world and what we need to do to fix it.

Keep writing

dragonpoet

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 26-Sep-2017
    Thank you very much****kahpot
reply by dragonpoet on 27-Sep-2017
    You are so very welcome.

    dp
Comment from estory
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I thought this was really strong musically, and structurally, I liked all the repetitions, the computerized voice, the endlessness of the script in that it seems to go on before and after this fragment we catch hold of. I like all those ideas, and the way you used this density of sound in the language to create this subtle, underlying rhythm. This is a very minimalistic kind of poem, a step out of the traditional and into the experimental, something rare on this site and in need of support. I applaud the imagination. I am all for going green, but increasingly I am sort of in favor of ditching all the machines, including computers and electrical appliances, and going back to a more self involved life style, where you make the things you need yourself, the way they did in the 1800's. This gives you more appreciation for things, and eliminates pollution. estory

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 26-Sep-2017
    Wow Thank you very much and yes I agree with what you say about pollution, and many thanks for your tremendous support for the different****kahpot
Comment from Bela
Excellent
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I like everything about this poem. Really enjoyed the structure! I might try one out myself. You have inspired me. Although the letter X is very difficult to come up with. And I was wondering you ended the poem with "become" thought it should be something else like Z or A but very well done. much kudo's

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 26-Sep-2017
    Thank you very much, I am not sure of how it should end but I think you may be right I will look into it thank you for helping****kahpot
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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It looks fine to me, and seeing the alphabetic progression is not required for the loop discipline, then it becomes extra inspired, and of course I love the theme which gives glory to God in its primary thrust to boot, so well done, a great experiment in creative writing,, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
    Thank you very much****kahpot
reply by royowen on 26-Sep-2017
    Well done
Comment from DonandVicki
Excellent
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This looks like quite a challenge and you did very well making it flow so well. A very good poem that contains a lot of knowledge and wisdom.

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
    Thank you very much for an excellent review****kahpot
Comment from Bill Schott
Excellent
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This abecedarian poem, Alphabet-Loop, certainly uses all the letters in the alphabet. An acrostic, which you've identified this poem as being, is usually based on a word, name, or phrase. The poem using the alphabet, as in your example, is abecedarian. I think, though, if it was to be a looping poem, in this particular case, it would end with the word ALL. Then the next line would repeat the first word of the first line.
As for the content of your work, I understand your point, but get caught up on the gimmick of the repeating words on front and back. As an experiment, I think it is a worthy effort that contains a strong statement and comes to the end of a complete thought when the poem concludes.
If you eliminate the end words that will simply repeat on the next line, the alphabetical idea will still be in play, but the stumbling over the repeated words (totally my opinion on this, of course) wouldn't take away from the poems message. Happy day.

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
    Thank you very much, I thought I only identified this as a Loop poem, in my notes I did say I have tried the Acrostic, but this was not it, your review, help, and inspiration is very much appreciated many thanks****kahpot
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Excellent
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Hello my friend you set yourself a challenge and accomplished it very well using each letter in alphabetical order is a challenge in itself well-done regards Jill

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
    Thank you very much****kahpot