Reviews from

Haiku Club Challenges, Book II

Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "haiku (sugar cotton clouds)"
an anthology of haiku written by fanstory poets

28 total reviews 
Comment from rama devi
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Lovely tone and tenor. Superb word economy, superb imagery, superb phonetics (all the S sounds plus alliteration of C and M as well as consonance of L)!
I could not open this in classic view, which is strange, since it has no artwork posted with it.

Anyway, I enjoyed. A six, if I had one left.

******

Love
rd


 Comment Written 06-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
    thank you very much for your review and kind words
reply by rama devi on 06-Sep-2017
    :-))
Comment from Joan E.
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I am sorry to hear you are battling your demons. Thank you for taking the time to share this appealing 5-7-3 haiku. It is quite visual and your use of alliteration intensifies its impact. Take good care of yourself- Joan

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
    thank you very much for your review and kind words
Comment from rspoet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello Gypsy,
This is a fine haiku for the book
Excellent imagery of the clouds and their movement
and a "moving" satori line
Good use of alliteration that read smoothly
Nicely done
RS

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
    thank you very much for your review and kind words
Comment from Pam (respa)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

-Good topic choice.
-Format is good.
-I like all the references to
things that are sweet,
especially in lines one and two.
-Satori is also effective.
-Thanks for sharing, Gypsy.

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
    thank you very much for your review and kind words
reply by Pam (respa) on 06-Sep-2017
    You are quite welcome, Gypsy.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hang in there, Teach. You have so much talent, especially where haiku poetry is concerned. That's worth something I should think.
Many people would love to be able to write such vividly expressed, wonderfully composed haiku the way you do.
Much like the sweet offering you've presented for us all here to read and review.
I too deal with depression.
You mustn't let it win.
 photo signature_212_zpsakmyagrx.gif

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
    thank you very much for your review and kind words
reply by Dean Kuch on 06-Sep-2017
    Anytime.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What a timely poem. Just last night as the evening was approaching, the sky was full of huge cottony clouds of pink and feathery blues. Clouds of cotton candy I said, and here I sit in a car and can't even reach it. Thanks for sharing another fine poem. :-)

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
    thank you very much for your review and kind words
Comment from Gert sherwood
Excellent
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Hello Gypsy
About you haiku clouds to me has a lot of meaning.
I know they are temporary and they will move along with their own sweet pace
Take care

Gert

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
    thank you very much for your review and kind words
reply by Gert sherwood on 06-Sep-2017
    You are welcome Gypsy
    Gert
Comment from DR DIP
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Gypsy why is it that the most wonderful writers suffer from depression or some sort of mental illness?
God works in mysterious ways. All poets and painters seem to suffer from some sort of emotional affliction I have found. We are masters of our own keyboard and the words can convey our feelings and emotions and mental state better than any doctor.

Keep well my Gypsy Rose..try not to feel 'blue'

dip

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
    thank you very much for your review and kind words
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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I like the sheer.ambiguous ."movement" of this work Gypsy, the satori line is clever, thoughtful, spiked with multiplistic meaning, one the best examples of subtlety in words one could see, well done, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
    thank you very much for your review and kind words
reply by royowen on 06-Sep-2017
    Most welcome
Comment from dragonpoet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This gives me an image of a spring day that has puffy clouds in the sky and very little breeze to move them around. I thought it was called cotton candy not sugar candy. Both work.

Keep writing

dragonpoet

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
    thank you very much for your review and kind words
reply by dragonpoet on 06-Sep-2017
    Don't mention it.

    Joan