Haiku Club Challenges, Book II
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "haiku (the ghost of Mamie Thurmond)"an anthology of haiku written by fanstory poets
52 total reviews
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Hello my friend this is well written and has an eerie feel to the poem using this form this is a tragic story well done regards Jill
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Hello my friend this is well written and has an eerie feel to the poem using this form this is a tragic story well done regards Jill
Comment Written 26-Aug-2017
Comment from nbonner
Nicely written haiku poem. It's always nice to see someone write about a true story, about something that matters. We can say a lot in a few words. Thank you for sharing and best wishes. N.B
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Nicely written haiku poem. It's always nice to see someone write about a true story, about something that matters. We can say a lot in a few words. Thank you for sharing and best wishes. N.B
Comment Written 26-Aug-2017
Comment from marybell1
I enjoyed reading your 5-7-5 haiku "The Ghost of Mamie Thurmond". You followed all the rules for this genre. (To me 5-7-5 is the only haiku) - I find this may offend some.
All the best.
Marybell1.
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I enjoyed reading your 5-7-5 haiku "The Ghost of Mamie Thurmond". You followed all the rules for this genre. (To me 5-7-5 is the only haiku) - I find this may offend some.
All the best.
Marybell1.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2017
Comment from DALLAS01
Nice one, Dean
I especially like the alliteration and the loam and roams rhyme.
Rhyme. How did you come about the story in Logan?
Thanks for sharing this intetestimg tale
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Nice one, Dean
I especially like the alliteration and the loam and roams rhyme.
Rhyme. How did you come about the story in Logan?
Thanks for sharing this intetestimg tale
Comment Written 25-Aug-2017
Comment from dragonpoet
Nice short horror story in this rhyming haiku. But I thought haikus weren't supposed to rhyme. And I know you follow all the rules. Just like I do. HaHa.
Nice artwork.
Keep writing
Joan
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Nice short horror story in this rhyming haiku. But I thought haikus weren't supposed to rhyme. And I know you follow all the rules. Just like I do. HaHa.
Nice artwork.
Keep writing
Joan
Comment Written 25-Aug-2017
Comment from Janet Foor
Well....since my grandchildren call me "Mamie" I don't think I'll share this story with any of them. haha I would never hear the end of it.
Well written haiku Dean. My money is on the jealous wife.
Blessings
Janet
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Well....since my grandchildren call me "Mamie" I don't think I'll share this story with any of them. haha I would never hear the end of it.
Well written haiku Dean. My money is on the jealous wife.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 25-Aug-2017
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That is such a sad story, Dean. That the handyman was used as a scapegoat for the banker is horrible. Obviously, Mamie sparked off some jealousy, either the banker or his wife's. Do you know if he was ultimately charged? Wonderful 5-7-5 poem and wonderful author's notes too! :) Sandra xx
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That is such a sad story, Dean. That the handyman was used as a scapegoat for the banker is horrible. Obviously, Mamie sparked off some jealousy, either the banker or his wife's. Do you know if he was ultimately charged? Wonderful 5-7-5 poem and wonderful author's notes too! :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 25-Aug-2017
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, Dean,
What a beautiful haiku for this week's challenge! Your grammatically interconnected lines flow nicely. The presentation is perfect for your poem. The author notes are very interesting. Good job sweetie pie.
Gypsy hugs
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Hello, Dean,
What a beautiful haiku for this week's challenge! Your grammatically interconnected lines flow nicely. The presentation is perfect for your poem. The author notes are very interesting. Good job sweetie pie.
Gypsy hugs
Comment Written 25-Aug-2017
Comment from rtobaygo
Good morning, Dean
Enjoyed the poem and the history lesson. Simple but concise image regarding her murder. I'll admit my ignorance regarding what haiku is suppose to convey to the reader -- is it the image the message or both? Out of sixes.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
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Good morning, Dean
Enjoyed the poem and the history lesson. Simple but concise image regarding her murder. I'll admit my ignorance regarding what haiku is suppose to convey to the reader -- is it the image the message or both? Out of sixes.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
Comment Written 25-Aug-2017
Comment from Pantygynt
To condense a story like this into seventeen syllables, the maximum allowed in haiku is worthy of merit on its own. However I have been given to understand that the satori line should be somehow separate from the sentence established over the first two lines. However I read this, and allowing for the Caesar a at the end of line two I still rate this as a single statement. No doubt those better versed in haiku will pass the ultimate sentence on this sentence.
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To condense a story like this into seventeen syllables, the maximum allowed in haiku is worthy of merit on its own. However I have been given to understand that the satori line should be somehow separate from the sentence established over the first two lines. However I read this, and allowing for the Caesar a at the end of line two I still rate this as a single statement. No doubt those better versed in haiku will pass the ultimate sentence on this sentence.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2017
