.....and then the elevator opened
A drought crazed crocodile goes off seeking water20 total reviews
Comment from R.A.Partin
A crocodile is in an elevator. How did it get here and what does it want? No one knows! Just the bizarreness of this situation is what made this piece funny. I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2017
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A crocodile is in an elevator. How did it get here and what does it want? No one knows! Just the bizarreness of this situation is what made this piece funny. I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2017
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Thank you for your feedback.
Comment from Crystal Kay
You had me glued to the computer screen! That doesn't happen often. I believed the story in the moment, even though on hindsight I think the idea of the croc getting in the elevator was a bit of fantasy... if they're as afraid of us as we are of them, they wouldn't be on an elevator.
I may look for a croc the next time I see an elevator door open.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2017
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You had me glued to the computer screen! That doesn't happen often. I believed the story in the moment, even though on hindsight I think the idea of the croc getting in the elevator was a bit of fantasy... if they're as afraid of us as we are of them, they wouldn't be on an elevator.
I may look for a croc the next time I see an elevator door open.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2017
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Thanks for your feedback. We've had Crocodiles wandering down the Main Street in Darwin before now. Would you stop it if it scurried into a building with an open lift? I wouldn't. I think I'll look before stepping into an elevator too next time. :)
Comment from Macsween
Very good. Interesting take and funny. A big croc is not what one would like to see when opening an elevator. If only Steve Irwin was still with us. Luckily, here in the UK we have Bear Grylls to look after us.
Something similar happened to me on honeymoon in Bali, opened the door one morning to a big lizard thing just sitting outside. I used a similar expression as your character did on seeing it.
Nice story, liked it. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2017
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Very good. Interesting take and funny. A big croc is not what one would like to see when opening an elevator. If only Steve Irwin was still with us. Luckily, here in the UK we have Bear Grylls to look after us.
Something similar happened to me on honeymoon in Bali, opened the door one morning to a big lizard thing just sitting outside. I used a similar expression as your character did on seeing it.
Nice story, liked it. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2017
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Thank you for your feedback. Liked your anecdote.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
It was a great idea! LOL, I don't think I'll use the elevator again, either. I've never swum in the sea since the film 'Jaws' hit the screen all those years ago! LOL. Well done, this really was a wonderful story, exciting and well written. Good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2017
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It was a great idea! LOL, I don't think I'll use the elevator again, either. I've never swum in the sea since the film 'Jaws' hit the screen all those years ago! LOL. Well done, this really was a wonderful story, exciting and well written. Good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 03-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2017
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Thank you so much for your feedback. Hmm yes Jaws saw the end of my beach swimming days too!
Comment from damommy
Well, this will make me check out elevators before I blithely sail onto one.
Great story telling. The story flowed very well, and I saw no errors.
It must have been horrible to hear those bones crushing over the phone. Yikes!
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2017
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Well, this will make me check out elevators before I blithely sail onto one.
Great story telling. The story flowed very well, and I saw no errors.
It must have been horrible to hear those bones crushing over the phone. Yikes!
Comment Written 03-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2017
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Yes I agree. I saw my dog crunching a bone and I thought " ouch that could be someone's skull" thanks for your feedback.
Comment from LIJ Red
Substitute alligator and Disney world Fla. may soon re-enact your story, if the plague of Burmese pythons don't eat all the gators. Exellent story for that particular prompt.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2017
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Substitute alligator and Disney world Fla. may soon re-enact your story, if the plague of Burmese pythons don't eat all the gators. Exellent story for that particular prompt.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2017
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Lol thank you. In Australia we have crocodiles not alligators. But they all have huge jaws and love human flesh.thanks for your feedback.
Comment from Hamiel
I am afraid of reptiles and so excited to read your story. I am really about to shout. Well, very good written and the emotion was there. Thank you for your share. I like how you wrote it. Keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2017
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I am afraid of reptiles and so excited to read your story. I am really about to shout. Well, very good written and the emotion was there. Thank you for your share. I like how you wrote it. Keep up the good work.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2017
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Thank you very much.
Comment from humpwhistle
True enough--no one expects to find a croc in an elevator.
I'm kind of surprised you gave that away from the git-go--even the photo.
But it's your story.
I can only guess you're under a tight deadline, but SPAG runs rampant.
If you have any time left, do yourself a favor
and edit.
Good luck.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2017
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True enough--no one expects to find a croc in an elevator.
I'm kind of surprised you gave that away from the git-go--even the photo.
But it's your story.
I can only guess you're under a tight deadline, but SPAG runs rampant.
If you have any time left, do yourself a favor
and edit.
Good luck.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 02-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2017
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Thank you for your feedback. I though I had edited. Did I have typos?
Comment from Mustang Patty
thank you for sharing your entry in the 'elevator' contest. I like the way you built the story, and you didn't give us a lot of gore, just the sounds of the alligator munching away on Old Pete.
Well done, with just enough horror,
Good luck in the contest,
~patty~
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2017
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thank you for sharing your entry in the 'elevator' contest. I like the way you built the story, and you didn't give us a lot of gore, just the sounds of the alligator munching away on Old Pete.
Well done, with just enough horror,
Good luck in the contest,
~patty~
Comment Written 02-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2017
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Thank you Patty. I took out the swearing too. I don't think bloody will offend too many people, although it could be referring to what happened to poor old Pete! I really enjoyed writing this then beating the clock to enter it in time.
Comment from robina1978
Lovely picture that complements your story perfectly. An original turn for this contest: a crocodile in the elevator. He even killed some. Next time the man does take the stairs. Good and original story for this contest. Best wishes for it.
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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2017
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Lovely picture that complements your story perfectly. An original turn for this contest: a crocodile in the elevator. He even killed some. Next time the man does take the stairs. Good and original story for this contest. Best wishes for it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2017
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Thank you for your feedback. I made it in by the skin of my teeth!
