Haiku Club Challenges, Book II
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "haiku (children build)"an anthology of haiku written by fanstory poets
25 total reviews
Comment from Grasshopper2
Lady Blue,
Your haiku has excellent images with the alliteration of S. Your satori is a good juxtapotaoe...wait...wait...juxtaposition with layers of meaning, which is a good thing. Makes your readers think about what the words mean to them.
Michael
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2017
Lady Blue,
Your haiku has excellent images with the alliteration of S. Your satori is a good juxtapotaoe...wait...wait...juxtaposition with layers of meaning, which is a good thing. Makes your readers think about what the words mean to them.
Michael
Comment Written 31-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2017
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thank you very much
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Oh yes my friend this is well written I again enjoyed this is a beautiful photograph you bring to life with your words very original well done regards Jill
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2017
Oh yes my friend this is well written I again enjoyed this is a beautiful photograph you bring to life with your words very original well done regards Jill
Comment Written 31-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2017
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thank you very much
Comment from Ricky1024
This Haiku Gypsy was written with Heart.
Children at their best!
Brings me back to the day....
"I still have a "Love for the Sea!"
{A Haiku from me to you!}
"Love for the Sea"
By Dr. Ricky 1024
Written in a time period within...
"The Depths of my Mind."
"Azure skies over Oceans"
"Blue, I remember when I...
"Said, I So Love You."
"Did I do good?'
That's my first...
Ricky....
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2017
This Haiku Gypsy was written with Heart.
Children at their best!
Brings me back to the day....
"I still have a "Love for the Sea!"
{A Haiku from me to you!}
"Love for the Sea"
By Dr. Ricky 1024
Written in a time period within...
"The Depths of my Mind."
"Azure skies over Oceans"
"Blue, I remember when I...
"Said, I So Love You."
"Did I do good?'
That's my first...
Ricky....
Comment Written 31-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2017
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thank you very much
Comment from Mark Valentine
One of my favorite pastimes, both as a child, and as a parent, was building sandcastles on the shores of Lake Michigan. I especially liked it as a parent because the beach was a free day of diversion - giving another layer of meaning, I suppose, to the phrase "affordable housing".
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2017
One of my favorite pastimes, both as a child, and as a parent, was building sandcastles on the shores of Lake Michigan. I especially liked it as a parent because the beach was a free day of diversion - giving another layer of meaning, I suppose, to the phrase "affordable housing".
Comment Written 31-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2017
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thank you, Mark :)
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for sharing the fun in the sand--I did not expect your punchline/satori and enjoyed the playful juxtaposition plus your alliteration of "s's". Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2017
Thank you for sharing the fun in the sand--I did not expect your punchline/satori and enjoyed the playful juxtaposition plus your alliteration of "s's". Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 31-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2017
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thank you, Joan :)
Comment from Ric Myworld
LOL! "Affordable housing." Children, the most wonderful blessing any of us could have ever imagined. And then, they grow up, to destroy our nerves and twist our insides into knots. But eventually, they turn out almost like the parents who raised them. Great job. :-)
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2017
LOL! "Affordable housing." Children, the most wonderful blessing any of us could have ever imagined. And then, they grow up, to destroy our nerves and twist our insides into knots. But eventually, they turn out almost like the parents who raised them. Great job. :-)
Comment Written 31-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2017
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thank you, Ric :)
Comment from F. Wehr3
I know I wasn't supposed to laugh, but I did. Housing in California is outrageous. I enjoyed your poem and wish you luck in your future endeavors.
Nicely done,
Russell
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2017
I know I wasn't supposed to laugh, but I did. Housing in California is outrageous. I enjoyed your poem and wish you luck in your future endeavors.
Nicely done,
Russell
Comment Written 31-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2017
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thank you, Russell :)
Comment from MizKat
Hi Gypsy Blue Rose,
Again I have read the poem you've written. Also you write the nicest poems that I enjoy reading. Always continue writing them as I sure
enjoy reading them.
Kat
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2017
Hi Gypsy Blue Rose,
Again I have read the poem you've written. Also you write the nicest poems that I enjoy reading. Always continue writing them as I sure
enjoy reading them.
Kat
Comment Written 31-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2017
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thank you, Kat :)
Comment from krys123
Hello, Gypsy;
-I found this haiku to be a little humorous and yet satirical in a way. One way of my looking at it satirically is that children have the ability to understand that housing is of a shortage. The other way I look at it is that it is the truth and there is a shortage.
-A harmless way of looking at it is the fact that the kids are just having fun and you took an Ekphrastic approach (picture explaining) to explain and describe what was happening in the picture.
-All in all, you have two grammatically connected lines, that fulfill the explanation and description of what is happening in the picture while the satori culminates and/or supplies the conceptual theme and the aha moment which is all relative to the meaning of your poem.
-I can only think that the kigo word would be "sand castles" as it is a reflection of someone working on the beach during summer. I could be wrong but that is my assumption.
-Thanks for sharing and take care and have a good one.
Alex
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2017
Hello, Gypsy;
-I found this haiku to be a little humorous and yet satirical in a way. One way of my looking at it satirically is that children have the ability to understand that housing is of a shortage. The other way I look at it is that it is the truth and there is a shortage.
-A harmless way of looking at it is the fact that the kids are just having fun and you took an Ekphrastic approach (picture explaining) to explain and describe what was happening in the picture.
-All in all, you have two grammatically connected lines, that fulfill the explanation and description of what is happening in the picture while the satori culminates and/or supplies the conceptual theme and the aha moment which is all relative to the meaning of your poem.
-I can only think that the kigo word would be "sand castles" as it is a reflection of someone working on the beach during summer. I could be wrong but that is my assumption.
-Thanks for sharing and take care and have a good one.
Alex
Comment Written 31-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2017
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thank you, Alex
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You are welcome, Gypsy.
Alex
Comment from Irish Rain
One of the best I've ever read, this is original, and delightful, with a wonderful picture! 'Affordable housing'...priceless!! Blessings....
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2017
One of the best I've ever read, this is original, and delightful, with a wonderful picture! 'Affordable housing'...priceless!! Blessings....
Comment Written 31-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2017
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thank you :)