Haiku Club Challenges, Book II
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "his knees ache (senryu)"an anthology of haiku written by fanstory poets
76 total reviews
Comment from Oatmeal
Sis Cat,
Good for you. I could not make it five miles ever, especially today. lol
Descriptive picture. Short, sweet and clean...just like I like them! Nicely effective and impressive. Very well reflected thoughts and expressions. The words you chose worked well. It is perfectly written and completely error free.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2017
Sis Cat,
Good for you. I could not make it five miles ever, especially today. lol
Descriptive picture. Short, sweet and clean...just like I like them! Nicely effective and impressive. Very well reflected thoughts and expressions. The words you chose worked well. It is perfectly written and completely error free.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 20-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, Oatmeal, for your encouraging review I read before I jog another mile this evening.
Comment from l.raven
HI Andre, OMG...CONGRATULATIONS my sweet friend...that is wonderful...not all the pain...but for the medal won...and the biggest win was getting over the line...you ask Him and He will get you there...thank you so much for sharing your wonderful news...I love the smiling face...made me smile...a priceless picture you...love Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2017
HI Andre, OMG...CONGRATULATIONS my sweet friend...that is wonderful...not all the pain...but for the medal won...and the biggest win was getting over the line...you ask Him and He will get you there...thank you so much for sharing your wonderful news...I love the smiling face...made me smile...a priceless picture you...love Linda xxoo
Comment Written 20-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2017
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Yes, Linda, my biggest win was crossing the finish line after one hour, two minutes and fifty-seven seconds. I prayed every step, or limp, of the way. Thank you for your review and congratulations.
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you are so welcome Andre...always...love xxoo
Comment from bhogg
enjoyed the post and the accompanying photo. Actually, I liked the photo best of all. The best part of any exercise is the finish. Certainly more of a Senryu than Haiku. Don't know if your contest specifies Haiku.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2017
enjoyed the post and the accompanying photo. Actually, I liked the photo best of all. The best part of any exercise is the finish. Certainly more of a Senryu than Haiku. Don't know if your contest specifies Haiku.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2017
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Bhogg, I am so glad I took that selfie after my race. I was going to use a generic picture of an elderly man racing, but my picture is the real deal. Thank you for your review and compliments.
Comment from Zinnia48
Three brief lines tell a whole lot of story in this haiku: passion, commitment, and dedication, and a tolerance for pain. I used to be a runner (until I had a couple of knee surgeries). I can feel your pain. thanks for the lovely read. caroline
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2017
Three brief lines tell a whole lot of story in this haiku: passion, commitment, and dedication, and a tolerance for pain. I used to be a runner (until I had a couple of knee surgeries). I can feel your pain. thanks for the lovely read. caroline
Comment Written 20-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2017
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Yes, Zinnia, my haiku tell a story. Each line unveils a different aspect of my story. The brilliant thing about the satori "finish line in sight" is that it invites the reader to complete the story by imagining an exhausted, pained man limping across the finish line.
Thank you for your review. Now I must go run before the sun sets.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice photo.
-Author notes appreciated.
-Hope your knees are doing better, Sis Cat.
-Syllable count is good.
-The imagery conveys your feelings very well.
-You finally make it to the finish line!
-Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2017
-Nice photo.
-Author notes appreciated.
-Hope your knees are doing better, Sis Cat.
-Syllable count is good.
-The imagery conveys your feelings very well.
-You finally make it to the finish line!
-Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2017
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Yes, Pam, I finally made it to the finish line and am preparing to race around the block this evening. Thank you for your review.
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Glad to hear you are doing well. You are most welcome for the review.
Comment from rspoet
Well done, Andre, a fine accomplishment
I never run, unless someone is chasing me
But I did do most sports for many years
It does extract a toll on the body.
A fine senryu/haiku for the challenge, as well
Sometimes, finishing a poem for a contest deadline
can have the same effect. (I never liked the word deadline,
finishline is much friendlier)
Great photograph to match
Congratulations
RS
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
Well done, Andre, a fine accomplishment
I never run, unless someone is chasing me
But I did do most sports for many years
It does extract a toll on the body.
A fine senryu/haiku for the challenge, as well
Sometimes, finishing a poem for a contest deadline
can have the same effect. (I never liked the word deadline,
finishline is much friendlier)
Great photograph to match
Congratulations
RS
Comment Written 20-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
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Thank you, RS, for your review and congratulations. Yes, I feel exhilarated, too, when I finish a poem before the contest deadline.
Comment from elainec4
Excellent senryu. I love both haiku and senryu because of the brevity of word and thought. Yours is an excellent example. It conveys clear thought--and your photo is perfect.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
Excellent senryu. I love both haiku and senryu because of the brevity of word and thought. Yours is an excellent example. It conveys clear thought--and your photo is perfect.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, elainec4, for your review of my excellent example of haiku/senryu. I appreciate it.
Comment from jusylee72
So true, easier to stop than continue but the relief of making it to the finish line is a lesson we need in every aspect of life. I enjoyed you short but wonderful poem.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
So true, easier to stop than continue but the relief of making it to the finish line is a lesson we need in every aspect of life. I enjoyed you short but wonderful poem.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
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Thank you, jusylee72, for your review. Yes, I was relieved when I crossed that finish line.
Comment from doggymad
Congratulations on the write and on finishing this gruelling challenge.
I a few short words you have penned what every runner must feel as the finish line approaches and they summons their last ounce of strength to cross it
hugs
Freda
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
Congratulations on the write and on finishing this gruelling challenge.
I a few short words you have penned what every runner must feel as the finish line approaches and they summons their last ounce of strength to cross it
hugs
Freda
Comment Written 20-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
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Thank you, Freda, for your review and congratulations on both my poem and finishing a grueling challenge.
Comment from jaded831
We should all have tat kind of determination. Unfortunately I'm a wimp, I pray everyday to have courage like you describe, some days yes others no. Back to your poem, really nothing else to say, it's great. Easy to read, great form, universal theme, no reader can ask for more.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
We should all have tat kind of determination. Unfortunately I'm a wimp, I pray everyday to have courage like you describe, some days yes others no. Back to your poem, really nothing else to say, it's great. Easy to read, great form, universal theme, no reader can ask for more.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, jaded831, for your encouraging review. I can't ask for anything more about my poem with a universal appeal..