Haiku Club Challenges, Book II
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "haiku(hands entwined)"an anthology of haiku written by fanstory poets
13 total reviews
Comment from damommy
As you know, I know nothing about haikus, but I like this very much.
It has such a feeling of peace about it. I can see a man kneeling in prayer.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2017
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As you know, I know nothing about haikus, but I like this very much.
It has such a feeling of peace about it. I can see a man kneeling in prayer.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2017
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Thank you so much, Yvonne. I'm so pleased you like it. I found the topic very difficult so I'm very pleased with the responses I've received.Thanks so much again. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment from Dean Kuch
While I enjoyed reading this lovely and well presented short poem, Ulla, I'm wondering what qualifies it as being a haiku? It contains no discernable kigo, or seasonal reference. At least not that I could tell.
Perhaps simply changing or word or two might suffice. For example:
hands entwined
below his starlit face
silent prayer
Other than that, I felt is was a lovely poem and painted a very vivid visual image.
~Dean
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reply by the author on 15-Jul-2017
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While I enjoyed reading this lovely and well presented short poem, Ulla, I'm wondering what qualifies it as being a haiku? It contains no discernable kigo, or seasonal reference. At least not that I could tell.
Perhaps simply changing or word or two might suffice. For example:
hands entwined
below his starlit face
silent prayer
Other than that, I felt is was a lovely poem and painted a very vivid visual image.
~Dean
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2017
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Hi Dean, thank you so much and for enlightning me. I've changed it into 'his moonlit face' and thank you for having taught me a valuable lesson. All the best. Ulla:))
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Perfect.
You're more than welcome. :)
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hola guapisima, como estas? I love your haiku. It's very well composed. The presentation is lovely and I like the picture. Lines one and two connect well.
Besitos y abrazos
Gypsy
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Hola guapisima, como estas? I love your haiku. It's very well composed. The presentation is lovely and I like the picture. Lines one and two connect well.
Besitos y abrazos
Gypsy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2017
