Haiku Club Challenges, Book II
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Senryu (steps in the hallway)"an anthology of haiku written by fanstory poets
32 total reviews
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes this is very well written my friend on a subject that happens so much and doesn't get talked peodophiles about you highlight the childs fear so well it must be a terrifying ordeal for the victims of this crime who don't know which way to turn and who to tell fearing they wont be believed well done regards Jill
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Yes this is very well written my friend on a subject that happens so much and doesn't get talked peodophiles about you highlight the childs fear so well it must be a terrifying ordeal for the victims of this crime who don't know which way to turn and who to tell fearing they wont be believed well done regards Jill
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the review and kind words sweetie pie. Thank you for the six stars.
Gypsy
Comment from zanya
A definitive frisson of horror/fear effectively evoked here with simply the sound of 'steps in the hallway'- together with such a striking visual to illustrate
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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A definitive frisson of horror/fear effectively evoked here with simply the sound of 'steps in the hallway'- together with such a striking visual to illustrate
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the review and kind words.
Gypsy
Comment from krys123
Howdy Gypsy;
-Believing that the The 3rd line is "daddy's little girl" implies that Daddy is not a very good man After having the first 2 lines grammatically connected and also implying that he is the one walking In the hallway and frightening the little girl. Great suspenseful introduction.
-The picture is well formulated with the surrounding print and works really well with the whole enjambment of the composition.
-An excellent Senryu capturing the suspense of abuse that is usually The case in which children are frightened.
-Thanks for sharing and take care and have a good one my friend.
Alex
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Howdy Gypsy;
-Believing that the The 3rd line is "daddy's little girl" implies that Daddy is not a very good man After having the first 2 lines grammatically connected and also implying that he is the one walking In the hallway and frightening the little girl. Great suspenseful introduction.
-The picture is well formulated with the surrounding print and works really well with the whole enjambment of the composition.
-An excellent Senryu capturing the suspense of abuse that is usually The case in which children are frightened.
-Thanks for sharing and take care and have a good one my friend.
Alex
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the review.
Gypsy
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Wow perfect as it gives the chills from the meaning. I did not understand where you were going till I got to the last line and it pulled chills. Very well done
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Wow perfect as it gives the chills from the meaning. I did not understand where you were going till I got to the last line and it pulled chills. Very well done
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the review, Barb.
Gypsy
Comment from William Ross
this is good so many little ones that may actually feel this way as they here there father or another sneaking down to their room at night. very strong message here. great job
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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this is good so many little ones that may actually feel this way as they here there father or another sneaking down to their room at night. very strong message here. great job
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the review and kind words.
Gypsy
Comment from Rasmine
Whoa, Gypsy! This sounds just like PTSD in this woman I used to befriend. She couldn't handle loud noises because she would think it was her father coming to hurt her -- he's a pig who is still alive now afraid to die because of his former beliefs. He was a Catholic, but now facing (in his former belief) eternal hell for his sexual abuse of his daughter. Only God knows...but he won't get away with it. He did here because no one intervened. Wish I was an adult then!
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Whoa, Gypsy! This sounds just like PTSD in this woman I used to befriend. She couldn't handle loud noises because she would think it was her father coming to hurt her -- he's a pig who is still alive now afraid to die because of his former beliefs. He was a Catholic, but now facing (in his former belief) eternal hell for his sexual abuse of his daughter. Only God knows...but he won't get away with it. He did here because no one intervened. Wish I was an adult then!
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the review, sweetie pie. I'm sorry for your friend's pain. I hope she is doing better. Thank you for the six stars.
Gypsy
Comment from Ric Myworld
Beautiful, and oh, so, innocent. Until she's kidnapped and found mutilated. Pieces hidden, scattered all over the park. Yuck, I'm can't even believe I made those remarks. It's just what came to mind when I read your poem. I guess, we all scare ourselves sometimes with what lies festering within our minds. Great job! :-)
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Beautiful, and oh, so, innocent. Until she's kidnapped and found mutilated. Pieces hidden, scattered all over the park. Yuck, I'm can't even believe I made those remarks. It's just what came to mind when I read your poem. I guess, we all scare ourselves sometimes with what lies festering within our minds. Great job! :-)
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the review.
Comment from Gloria ....
A most apt and sombre post, Gypsy. So much can be taken from this, and all of scary.
This is sadly the reality for too many wee ones.
Great job my friend,
Gloria
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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A most apt and sombre post, Gypsy. So much can be taken from this, and all of scary.
This is sadly the reality for too many wee ones.
Great job my friend,
Gloria
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the review and kind words, my friend.
Gypsy
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hey Gypsy. Good grief you have a mean right hook! This is as horrifying as it is fantastic! That third line is the one that always slays me! Good luck. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Hey Gypsy. Good grief you have a mean right hook! This is as horrifying as it is fantastic! That third line is the one that always slays me! Good luck. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the review and kind words sweetie pie I appreciate.
Gypsy
Comment from Ricky1024
You write mainly Haiku and Senryu.
Ever write straight poetry?
That picture, id that really You?
Quite impressive.
And all your work is rated and awarded.
Is it from pumps from reviews or your followers?
Ricky1024
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You write mainly Haiku and Senryu.
Ever write straight poetry?
That picture, id that really You?
Quite impressive.
And all your work is rated and awarded.
Is it from pumps from reviews or your followers?
Ricky1024
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
