Reviews from

The Window

Can Darkness Expunge the Light?

90 total reviews 
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Jay: Sometimes, we are watching and not seeing.
I like the twist that you threw us to make us think.
You are a terrific writer and inspire us by emotions.
What are we doing with our lives to help one another?
You grieved and fell. May someone lift you up...
Congrats on all time best. flylikeanegle

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2017


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
    Nancy, bless you, my dear. It's so good to have you back, even if for a howdy and a 'bye. How are your publishing endeavors going? Writing from the middle. Got the hang of it, yet? I appreciate your compliments. You are special.
reply by flylikeaneagle on 12-Jun-2017
    Jay: I gave my dialogue on sex trade to the pastor who inspired me. Pastor Lance liked the story and encouraged me to continue with the novel.

    My husband's computer expired. John has been using mine. I'm going to buy him an ipad so he can web search on his own.

    We were in Denver and did some sightseeing research. Thanks for your chat. I am in the middle again soon.

    nancy
Comment from RPSaxena
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello Jay Squires,
What a wonderful fall! Really a worth appreciating 'turn' in the poem.
It's a lovely piece of Cinquain Poetry meeting the desired norms and beautifully depicting its theme.
Impressive phraseology, and more impressive is its style having smooth and enchanting flow.
Best of Luck!

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2017


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
    First, I'm humbled by your six. Thanks for your generosity. Thanks, too, for being so generous with your accolades. You Rock!
Comment from Kerry Foley
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a wonderful, Cinquain you have created, my friend. Something very dark and mysterious about it, almost chilling. Good luck to you in contest. Your artwork chosen is stunning as well, a perfect fit. ~Kerry

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2017


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
    Thank you, Kerry, for taking the time to read all the way to the near chill. If some of the reviews I've read are right, there's a bit of all of us in the poem. Being the poet, I'm humbled by that accident of construction.

    Bless you, Kerry.
reply by Kerry Foley on 11-Jun-2017
    You are very welcome, Jay
Comment from evesayshi
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

In my opinion, a tragic view from the window, both visually and philosophically - to me, expressed as an unhappy lesson in avoidance, which was once the standard. Although this still happens, it appears humanity is becoming more responsive and given to action these days - well constructed and smooth in presentation, the picture a perfect complement...

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2017


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
    You are noticing what I've experienced as well. I wouldn't go so far as to say Humanity responds, but I find more people are responding in a HUMANE way. Thank you, Eve, for reading and your astute review.
reply by evesayshi on 11-Jun-2017
    You are very welcome, Jay - I understand your comment, but I meant humanity versus other forms of life, which, as you know, includes many, i.e., animals, insects, marine life...Eve
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
    Ah, Eve ... now I understand. Sometimes you need to whack me 'long side the head to get my brain working right. Thanks for your patience.
reply by evesayshi on 11-Jun-2017
    Absolutely no problem whatsoever, Jay - I'm delighted you respond to your reviews...Eve
reply by evesayshi on 11-Jun-2017
    I thought my response was humorous - I hope it made you at least smile...Eve
reply by evesayshi on 11-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
    I'm a dunderhead, Eve. Which response? There were four, if you include the first. I love to smile. (That's a lie. I'd like to smile more, but I don't usually remember to do it until after the other has already left. Don't leave without telling me which response.)
reply by evesayshi on 11-Jun-2017
    Responding to any of my reviews, Jay, no specific one - I just provided an offhand compliment/comment - sorry for the confusion...Eve
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2017
    Bwahahahaha. LOL.
reply by evesayshi on 12-Jun-2017
    Well, ok then...
Comment from Val Crisson
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very thought provoking poem. The presentation is remarkable, and message even more so. By ignoring others pains or abuse, we loose what it means to be human. We loose all identity with others, when we put ourselves first in the face of other's pain.

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2017


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
    Very good! I love that well-thought-out response. And you are spot on with what I intended to say.
reply by Val Crisson on 11-Jun-2017
    I know, good reviews on this site are far and few. I'm glad I could give a good critique, as I review very rarely anymore. This was a good one.
Comment from F. Wehr3
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I really enjoyed this poem, Jay. It made me think to decipher its meaning. I think I got the correct meaning. Going over the last of your life like a reflection in a windowpane, shutting everyone out, and then seeing the task through with your own suicide. I hope I'm not off base. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.

Take care,
Russell

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2017


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
    This was purposely open-ended, Russell. I've compared it before as a verbal Rorschach Test. While your interpretation isn't what I had intended, I can see where you arrived at it. And it is deep and thoughtful. More tragic, I think, than my own take on it. Thank you for doing some deep thinking on this and offering your interpretation so eloquently ... oh, and for the sixer! That was the crown.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Jay, this is a great cinquain--very deep. Looks like a winner to me! I've been away from Fanstory for a while--challenging times. I have a post about it if you want to know more. I think of you every night when I water my garden. I am amazed when I think of the mess it was a year ago. Take care, my friend~Debbie

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2017


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
    Thank you, Debbie. Very kind of you to compliment my poem so highly. No, I didn't know of your challenges. Why didn't I see the post? I'll check it out.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You have written an excellent poem. This is a terrific contest entry. Good luck in the contest. I wish you the best. I usually lose, perhaps you'll have more success.

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2017


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
    THank you for your compliments and your well-wishes. By the way, how are your vegetables doing? I have some tomato vines standing better than six-feet tall.
Comment from Melissa Anderson
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I like this poem a lot. It is thought provoking. I think it is open to interpretation. My take on the poem is that we all see the suffering of others and perhaps we allow ourselves to feel sorry for them for a brief moment before we close our hearts down and look away.

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2017


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
    Bingo! You couldn't be writer than if you wrote it yourself--at least as far as my personal intention goes ... but I agree, it was open-ended. Thanks so much, Melissa.
Comment from His Grayness
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Outstanding indeed! The artwork and coloration is excellent and the overall work is brilliant. Good luck to this gifted author in the contest. You certainly have my vote! HIS GRAYNESS; Vance

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2017


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2017
    Wow, Vance, that is some high praise. Thank you so very much for reading so deeply and rewarding it with a six!