Out On a Limb For Love
No Time For Reasoning51 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Good Lord, jay, this is hatred as its worse, isn't it? The father only sees colour not even looking for what is underneath the colour of the skin. A lot said in so few words. All the best; Ulla:))
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2017
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Good Lord, jay, this is hatred as its worse, isn't it? The father only sees colour not even looking for what is underneath the colour of the skin. A lot said in so few words. All the best; Ulla:))
Comment Written 16-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2017
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Many thanks, Ulla. I had such trouble getting this right. I kept thinking, just 10 more words, I could make it perfect.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
They'll come around. We'd laughed about it. Once it's born, they'll accept me.
Suzie waits, bag packed. Straddling the limb, I reach for the window. She's waving me away. No! I lean. Her daddy's shotgun rams my chest.
"Law pertects the homeowner 'gainst trespassin', niggah. And God--He fergives the Christian."WOW!!!
Oh my goodness this is AMAZING! What a fantastic flash write. I think it is utterly superb, well done kindest regards, Meia x
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2017
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They'll come around. We'd laughed about it. Once it's born, they'll accept me.
Suzie waits, bag packed. Straddling the limb, I reach for the window. She's waving me away. No! I lean. Her daddy's shotgun rams my chest.
"Law pertects the homeowner 'gainst trespassin', niggah. And God--He fergives the Christian."WOW!!!
Oh my goodness this is AMAZING! What a fantastic flash write. I think it is utterly superb, well done kindest regards, Meia x
Comment Written 16-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2017
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Thank you, Meia, for your kind words and generous rating.
Comment from RGstar
I like the paradox here, if right word. i never tire of your work, my friend, words always sing with you, brutal or otherwise, for it always makes sense.
Strong presentation.
Have a great day, Jay.
RG
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2017
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I like the paradox here, if right word. i never tire of your work, my friend, words always sing with you, brutal or otherwise, for it always makes sense.
Strong presentation.
Have a great day, Jay.
RG
Comment Written 16-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2017
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You made my day, RG. Thank you so much for your kindness and generous rating.
Comment from Bill Schott
This one sounds like someone found out that racism runs deep and red in some places. A father's dislike on top of that can be a fatal attraction via dad's shotgun. This story subtly indicates the the limb-sitters naive belief that he is disliked as a suitor rather than despised out of hand as a human being.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2017
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This one sounds like someone found out that racism runs deep and red in some places. A father's dislike on top of that can be a fatal attraction via dad's shotgun. This story subtly indicates the the limb-sitters naive belief that he is disliked as a suitor rather than despised out of hand as a human being.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2017
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Dang it, Bill. Your review, particularly the last sentence , is deserving of a thumbs up, which I don't have until next month. I want you to know your name is going on my "Thumbs Up" list, to be awarded next month.
Thanks so much, Bill.
Comment from Vijay Kumar V
This is so beautiful, "They'll come around. We'd laughed about it. Once it's born, they'll accept me."
Thanks for sharing.
Have a great weekend.
Namaskaram
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2017
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This is so beautiful, "They'll come around. We'd laughed about it. Once it's born, they'll accept me."
Thanks for sharing.
Have a great weekend.
Namaskaram
Comment Written 16-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2017
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Thank you for your compliment and your generous rating.
Comment from LIJ Red
Thank goodness the abortionists have carried the day. Now there won't have to be another single mom struggling to raise a gang member on my tax dollars. Who's grumpy? Jay, you got enough info out in fifty words or so to prove you can tell a story. Excellent.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2017
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Thank goodness the abortionists have carried the day. Now there won't have to be another single mom struggling to raise a gang member on my tax dollars. Who's grumpy? Jay, you got enough info out in fifty words or so to prove you can tell a story. Excellent.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2017
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Did I get the redneck jargon right, Red? It was your image that inspired the papa. It was from your mouth his words came. LOL, thanks my friend for the compliment.
Comment from boxergirl
Wow, Jay. This is one of the best flashes I have read in a while. Precise and yet so vivid with the details you provided. I like the first person point of view and the plot is unfortunately realistic.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2017
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Wow, Jay. This is one of the best flashes I have read in a while. Precise and yet so vivid with the details you provided. I like the first person point of view and the plot is unfortunately realistic.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2017
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I'm thrilled you enjoyed reading this, Ellen. Yeah, the first person and present tense isn't my usual choice. THanks for your kindness and generosity!
Comment from --Turtle.
Hi, Jay,
I read through this non-dribbling dribble fiction. I like the use of first person, present tense... For a big theme, in a little punch bowl, a sense of the tale is clear... a tale that repeats too often. Love that is blind in a world that is not. Prejudice and proclaimed righteousness, standing in the way of two hearts and the natural inclination to couple. Hate and higher powers versus Love and the want for inclusion.
Potent, in a very short time, a lot of emotions and unrest are stirred. People continue to love against the odds, and hate and violence continues to stomp out those bits of reaching beyond the barriers.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Hi, Jay,
I read through this non-dribbling dribble fiction. I like the use of first person, present tense... For a big theme, in a little punch bowl, a sense of the tale is clear... a tale that repeats too often. Love that is blind in a world that is not. Prejudice and proclaimed righteousness, standing in the way of two hearts and the natural inclination to couple. Hate and higher powers versus Love and the want for inclusion.
Potent, in a very short time, a lot of emotions and unrest are stirred. People continue to love against the odds, and hate and violence continues to stomp out those bits of reaching beyond the barriers.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Thank you, Turtle, for your kind words and very generous rating. I'm thrilled you enjoyed reading it.
Comment from IndianaIrish
I really enjoyed your micro-mino flash fiction, Jay. With so few words, you gave enough info and hinted at other info, to give me enough to visualize the scene. Powerful flash with a great twist. No unneeded words. Best wishes in the contest.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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I really enjoyed your micro-mino flash fiction, Jay. With so few words, you gave enough info and hinted at other info, to give me enough to visualize the scene. Powerful flash with a great twist. No unneeded words. Best wishes in the contest.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Thank you, Karyn, for your kindness and generosity. I like MICRO better than DRIBBLE, don't you? The latter sounds like a sinus condition. Add "flash" after it and one can be reminded of sunlight flashing off the discharge. OMG, Jay's gone too far.
Again, thanks, Karyn.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Oh, I always get such a shock when I reach the end of these micro fictions, Jay. This is brilliant, I loved it. I wondered what he was doing straddling a limb, then the picture became very clear. All at once so clever, Giddy
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Oh, I always get such a shock when I reach the end of these micro fictions, Jay. This is brilliant, I loved it. I wondered what he was doing straddling a limb, then the picture became very clear. All at once so clever, Giddy
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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I'm thrilled you liked this micro-fiction (sounds much better than Dribble, doesn't it)? Thank you for your continued kindness.