Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

We get not just one exemplary Cinquain poem outta this deal from your talented pen...or quill...or keyboard..., whatever the choice of writing implements you prefer, Debi, but two for the price of one.
Charming...
Each one is well-composed and feeds quite well off of the other.
This brings to mind those infamous words spoken by the late, great actor, Charleton Heston, when he starred as Moses opposite Yule Brenner as Ramses in the Ten Commandments...
"Let my people go!"

Excellent...
~Dean

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Dec-2016

Hi Dean,
Thank you for the encouraging comments about the form and stating that you found it charming. It was my first cinquain, but you have to start somewhere. I appreciate you bringing up Yul Brenner and Charleton Heston. I love the Ten Commandments and I cannot imagine anyone else as Ramses or anyone else as Moses.
Thank you.
Debi

reply by Dean Kuch on 13-Dec-2016

You're very welcome, Debi.
~Dean :}

Comment from MelB

Excellent

Nice artwork and poem. A stark contrast between the first stanza and Pharoh thinking he is royalty to the second stanza and finding out through Jesus how royal one is.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Dec-2016

Thank you for the excellent review and commentary. I appreciate you stopping by to read and review.

reply by MelB on 13-Dec-2016

You're most welcome.

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

Two cinquains that strike a neat comparison between the leadership styles of Egypt's Pharoah at the time of the Exodus, or shortly before, and that of Jesus, that still exists to this day, or so his followers would have us believe. His style seems a better bet than Pharoah's anyway.

A good use of the cinquain form. This sort of thing looks deceptively easy when, as here, it is done well. Actually is quite difficult ins uch short lines to get a complex message across. Well done.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016

Thank you for the excellent review. I appreciate your analysis of the theme and the encouraging comments about the writing and the difficulty of the form. Thank you.
Debi

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written double Cinquain. The two opposite kingdoms we experience in live. The first Egypt where we serve the natural world and enslave ourselves for money and earthly treasure. The second is the Kingdom of God where we serve God and Jesus made us free from slvery

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016

You got the message exactly, the physical world vs that spiritual. Thank you for the insightful analysis and encouraging comments.
Debi

Comment from Heather Knight

Excellent

I like the contrast between the two stanzas in your poem. The Pharaoh seems like a good man, but puts himself first. Jesus, however, is more concerned about those that follow him than about himself.
Lovely presentation as well.
Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016

Hi Maria Jose Garcia,
Thank you for your analysis about the contrasting cinquains. I appreciate your nice comments about the presentation. Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Debi

Comment from DR DIP

Excellent

Good comparison I am not religious but I know of the teachings of Jesus to understand your comparison Thanks for sharing

dip

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016

Hi Dr Dip,
Thank you for dropping in to review and commenting on the comparison made. I appreciate the encouragement.
Debi

Comment from Ella25

Excellent

Very good comparison between the Pharaon and Jesus. On is the royal who wants you to obey him while the other wants you to follow him and learn the power you have in Him. It was written. Blessings, Ella

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016

Hi Ella,
Thank you for the kind comments and analysis. I appreciate you stopping by to read and review.
God bless.
Debi

Comment from ciliverde

Excellent

Wow...you have taken the cinquain to a new level. Because, as I'm sure you know, the Pharoah used to have his slaves and wives buried alive with him, when he died (right?). Did the equate themselves to Gods? It seems they must have. But when you compare that message to those of Jesus...one of love and trust...it leads to elevation. I wish more people would think about what that message really means!
Great job!
Carol

 Comment Written 10-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016

Hi Carol,
What a nice complement. Yes, being the wife or servant of the Pharaoh had its drawbacks. Enjoy the perks while you can because you are doomed if he dies.
Thank you for your analysis of the message. I agree that more people need to think about what it means. Thank you for taking the time to read and comments.
Debi

Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)

Excellent

This is a very good double cinquain, my friend. It tells a story which I like. These aren't my favorite poem style, but with the story-telling, I do like it~Debbie

 Comment Written 10-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016

Hi Debbie,
Thank you for the analysis. This is the first cinquain I have attempted so the fact you liked it when it isn't your favorite form means a lot. Thank you for taking time to read and review.
Debi

Comment from Sis Cat

Excellent

Yes, yes, yes. This is a balanced poem where the weight is on the side of Jesus for having a more compelling invitation,

"With me,
Love's path climbs true and straight.
Come. Follow me. Learn how royal
you are."

More than the shape of this Cinquain, your poem's message resonated with me as an accurate argument and debate where we would win if we follow Jesus.

Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 10-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016

Thank you for the wonderful review. I appreciate the encouraging comments about the message and how it resonated with you.

P.S. Congrats on being the recognized writer for the month. It is well deserved.

reply by Sis Cat on 11-Dec-2016

Thank you, w.j.debi, for your congrats. I am glad that you found my review encouraging.