F-f-fu- Dy-yam! She-ut!
I'll do it later50 total reviews
Comment from F. Wehr3
I feel your pain. If writing were easy, everyone would do it.
Having only read the last part of book three, I am blind as to most of the events that took place before, and I can't advise you in one direction or the other. What I will comment on is the use of Kyre. I have a multi-theistic pantheon in my own series. At no time does a god get into the action. Rather they give inspirations, visions, and gifts. What the character does with those gifts or how they are interpreted are completely up to the character, a mortal.
Pondria is gifted with magic, a gift alone, and in my opinion, he shouldn't get any other help. The death of Axtilla and her subsequent intervention at Pondria execution is fine, but do you remember when Valeria, Conan the barbarian's first love, intercedes and saves his life? It's that type of moment.
What magical powers Pondria has he has from the beginning or learns to use them. He doesn't get something new at the end. Make sense?
Axtilla's death brings Kyre into the picture. I'll ask a question. What purpose does her death serve? If it's to bring a god into play, I'd re-think it. I kill off a lot of people, probably more than I should, but each death has a purpose. It shows the reader the underbelly of what's going on, a glimpse into the bigger picture. I never got a sense of why, and I didn't want to comment on it at the time, other than being in shock. I kept silent because this is your story. You tell it how you want to.
I don't know if this helps or adds to the confusion, but I wanted to let you know how I felt as a reader. You are such a talented person, and I'm sure you'll figure it out. I'll make myself available if you want to bounce ideas around. I don't think I'm in the same class as you, or if I am, I'm in the back of class, shooting spitballs and making dick jokes.
Take the time and do it the way you want. I understand where you are in the creative process, and if you need to step back, step back, breathe, and relax. Then, begin again fresh and renewed. You can do it!
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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I feel your pain. If writing were easy, everyone would do it.
Having only read the last part of book three, I am blind as to most of the events that took place before, and I can't advise you in one direction or the other. What I will comment on is the use of Kyre. I have a multi-theistic pantheon in my own series. At no time does a god get into the action. Rather they give inspirations, visions, and gifts. What the character does with those gifts or how they are interpreted are completely up to the character, a mortal.
Pondria is gifted with magic, a gift alone, and in my opinion, he shouldn't get any other help. The death of Axtilla and her subsequent intervention at Pondria execution is fine, but do you remember when Valeria, Conan the barbarian's first love, intercedes and saves his life? It's that type of moment.
What magical powers Pondria has he has from the beginning or learns to use them. He doesn't get something new at the end. Make sense?
Axtilla's death brings Kyre into the picture. I'll ask a question. What purpose does her death serve? If it's to bring a god into play, I'd re-think it. I kill off a lot of people, probably more than I should, but each death has a purpose. It shows the reader the underbelly of what's going on, a glimpse into the bigger picture. I never got a sense of why, and I didn't want to comment on it at the time, other than being in shock. I kept silent because this is your story. You tell it how you want to.
I don't know if this helps or adds to the confusion, but I wanted to let you know how I felt as a reader. You are such a talented person, and I'm sure you'll figure it out. I'll make myself available if you want to bounce ideas around. I don't think I'm in the same class as you, or if I am, I'm in the back of class, shooting spitballs and making dick jokes.
Take the time and do it the way you want. I understand where you are in the creative process, and if you need to step back, step back, breathe, and relax. Then, begin again fresh and renewed. You can do it!
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 18-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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Russell, you are so encouraging and helpful with your advise. I may take you up on bouncing some ideas back and forth. Presently, I'm back in book one where I will trace the forward growth of Pondria out of Doctrex. You've given me some good ideas on the roles of Gods. I'm pasting your review in my edit folder.
Comment from write hand blue
Hi Jay. This is a superbly written apology for your present perception of making a basic error. Seems tough to me that you have to go back to the beginning to achieve this.
I know if you tweak the beginning, then the work can fan out exponentially into a lot of work by the end. Not that I've been in the position of having three nearly completed novels.
If it was me I'd shelf the books for now and write other works. Then when I felt refreshed I'd consider revisiting 'Trinning.' It can be easy sometimes to overlook other possibilities.
I hope you don't find all this basic, but it is possible that we don't see the wood for the trees. At the same time I understand how you feel as a writer. Above all don't be hard on yourself. This is just my personal view and written with the best of intentions...
~Mel~
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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Hi Jay. This is a superbly written apology for your present perception of making a basic error. Seems tough to me that you have to go back to the beginning to achieve this.
I know if you tweak the beginning, then the work can fan out exponentially into a lot of work by the end. Not that I've been in the position of having three nearly completed novels.
If it was me I'd shelf the books for now and write other works. Then when I felt refreshed I'd consider revisiting 'Trinning.' It can be easy sometimes to overlook other possibilities.
I hope you don't find all this basic, but it is possible that we don't see the wood for the trees. At the same time I understand how you feel as a writer. Above all don't be hard on yourself. This is just my personal view and written with the best of intentions...
~Mel~
Comment Written 18-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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Mel, your advise is sterling. Thank you for it. I am writing some short stories for FS and will be posting one in a few days. Meanwhile I'll also be rereading the Trining where I believe I'll find the roots of the problem in Book one.
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I'll look out for your work. And good luck with the reread...
Comment from bob cullen
Only smart writers admit to their errors. Over the years I've made plenty. And in a sense that is part of the fun.
I've often found myself, or rather my dumb characters get themselves into a situation where there is no out. Fortunately I've discovered these stuff-ups as they've occurred and not fifty pages later.
Good luck with the re-write
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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Only smart writers admit to their errors. Over the years I've made plenty. And in a sense that is part of the fun.
I've often found myself, or rather my dumb characters get themselves into a situation where there is no out. Fortunately I've discovered these stuff-ups as they've occurred and not fifty pages later.
Good luck with the re-write
Comment Written 18-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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THanks, Bob. I'm gonna start editing Book 1 and look for the roots of the problems with the characters.
Comment from Gloria ....
I dunno, Jay. I'm all in for God just coming down and killing off all the bad guys. In fact I'd rather relish that ending. Viva deus ex machina. I'm pretty sure Che Guevara coined that phrase or at least I read about it on Twitter.
Well Jay all I can say is, you can do this but it does sound like a lot of work and cause for great consternation.
Thanks for sharing your dilemma because now my problems seem so much smaller somehow.
As always a terrific write from your mind to ours.
Gloria
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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I dunno, Jay. I'm all in for God just coming down and killing off all the bad guys. In fact I'd rather relish that ending. Viva deus ex machina. I'm pretty sure Che Guevara coined that phrase or at least I read about it on Twitter.
Well Jay all I can say is, you can do this but it does sound like a lot of work and cause for great consternation.
Thanks for sharing your dilemma because now my problems seem so much smaller somehow.
As always a terrific write from your mind to ours.
Gloria
Comment Written 17-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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Thank you, Gloria. I'm of no value if I can't help other people's problems seem smaller, LOL.
Comment from chiversmisha
Excellent! I really enjoyed this work! It was clear, concise, humorous and still left me with a lesson learned about the ups and downs of an author. This was not written - in my opinion- just for authors, but to all of us who have a passion that thugs and pulls on our creative heart and mind. The flow was great and easily digested.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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Excellent! I really enjoyed this work! It was clear, concise, humorous and still left me with a lesson learned about the ups and downs of an author. This was not written - in my opinion- just for authors, but to all of us who have a passion that thugs and pulls on our creative heart and mind. The flow was great and easily digested.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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Thank you for reading this and for your kind words. Glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from cterp
This is the most lovely, optimistic, humble apology I can imagine. What an effort you have in front of you, to revise two books you have already completed so that the third can finish up properly. I admire your dedication to your work.
chris
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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This is the most lovely, optimistic, humble apology I can imagine. What an effort you have in front of you, to revise two books you have already completed so that the third can finish up properly. I admire your dedication to your work.
chris
Comment Written 17-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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Thank you, Chris. I don't anticipate that much effort, though. It's no more or less than editing. I just need to find where the characters lost their direction.
Comment from Delahay
I wish I had gotten started on your book a long time ago. I tried to read a few chapters but it was too much to start into so late in the game for me. I can understand your dilemma though. I had to stop reading books by a particular author I liked at one time. Whenever the heroine ran into a big problem she suddenly developed a new power that was just what was needed. I think that writer got lazy after a while. Looks like your book is trying to take over events and you need to wrest control back.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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I wish I had gotten started on your book a long time ago. I tried to read a few chapters but it was too much to start into so late in the game for me. I can understand your dilemma though. I had to stop reading books by a particular author I liked at one time. Whenever the heroine ran into a big problem she suddenly developed a new power that was just what was needed. I think that writer got lazy after a while. Looks like your book is trying to take over events and you need to wrest control back.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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You hit the nail on the head. I need the main character to wrest his control back. It's fixable.
Comment from Loren (7)
Jay, this is one of the best things I've read from you mainly because I both understood and fully enjoyed reading it! See, I just knew you could write something I could understand :) The metaphor of the surfer was superb! However, I think I can understand as well to the underlying angst of this article - your story must come to an end. But make it one that pleases you - this is what will make it authentic and please your fans/readers the most. Loren
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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Jay, this is one of the best things I've read from you mainly because I both understood and fully enjoyed reading it! See, I just knew you could write something I could understand :) The metaphor of the surfer was superb! However, I think I can understand as well to the underlying angst of this article - your story must come to an end. But make it one that pleases you - this is what will make it authentic and please your fans/readers the most. Loren
Comment Written 17-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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Thanks, Loren. The six stars is lovely, but your words are moreso. Thanks for your encouragement.
Comment from michaelcahill
Everything you write is entertaining. Reminds me of Smurphgirlsasha. :))
This is a helluva dilemma though. Jeesh. You may have to do major alterations to the whole thing. WOW
I wrote seven books in 2014. All of them have to be re-written. By winging it, there were too many things in need of repair. I know this isn't as dire as you make out, but it still sounds troublesome. I can't wait to read the final result. mikey
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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Everything you write is entertaining. Reminds me of Smurphgirlsasha. :))
This is a helluva dilemma though. Jeesh. You may have to do major alterations to the whole thing. WOW
I wrote seven books in 2014. All of them have to be re-written. By winging it, there were too many things in need of repair. I know this isn't as dire as you make out, but it still sounds troublesome. I can't wait to read the final result. mikey
Comment Written 17-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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Thank you, Mikey. I wish you'd get working on your soul-mates story. That was so good and publishable.
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Really? Okay, I've been sitting around in a daze looking at all of it. That's the best idea for a direction I've had. :))
That's what I'll do. Thank you. mikey
Comment from Bill Schott
I keep wanting to dive into one of these stories, but I feel I need to go back to the beginning. Now you're figuring out the end. I'm going to buzz through the Trining and get the gist.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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I keep wanting to dive into one of these stories, but I feel I need to go back to the beginning. Now you're figuring out the end. I'm going to buzz through the Trining and get the gist.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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But I'm in process of editing Book 1 to find where the character started to make his change that caused the problems in Book 3. So by the time I get back to Book 3, Book 1 will be entirely different. But enjoy ... LOL. Thanks for the 6 stars.
