Stories of the Dreamtime
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "The Song Bird"Aboriginal myths and legends.
19 total reviews
Comment from patcelaw
This is a copy and paste message, so my contacts will know.
Prayer needed for me. I have been having heart associated pains for several weeks. Had a nuclear stress test done and the heart looks good, but still having pain and the doctor needs to do a heart cath. Pray that they can find the source of the pain and can correct it with meds, without having to have surgery. The cath will be done on June 22 as an outpatient.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2016
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This is a copy and paste message, so my contacts will know.
Prayer needed for me. I have been having heart associated pains for several weeks. Had a nuclear stress test done and the heart looks good, but still having pain and the doctor needs to do a heart cath. Pray that they can find the source of the pain and can correct it with meds, without having to have surgery. The cath will be done on June 22 as an outpatient.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2016
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Hello Patricia. I wondered what I was reading in my story review? Still, you have more to be worried about than reviewing. Perhaps your pain is simply Angina? Prayers for you, Love, Kay.
Comment from mermaids
Love the theme of nature is not for us to own. The beautiful bluebird belonged to everyone and needed her freedom. Love this tale that takes the reader to another place and time and teaches so much. Your story is vivid and well written. I am bookcasing it so I can read it again.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Love the theme of nature is not for us to own. The beautiful bluebird belonged to everyone and needed her freedom. Love this tale that takes the reader to another place and time and teaches so much. Your story is vivid and well written. I am bookcasing it so I can read it again.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Hello my friend, Thanks so much for reading and so glad you enjoyed. Thanks for book casing. Makes it all worthwhile. Blessings, Kay.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Aww, that was both beautiful and sad. But the story had such a wonderful moral to it, greed does kill the joy of freedom. You cannot take something away without losing a lot. Beautiful story, my friend. You tell them so well. :) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Aww, that was both beautiful and sad. But the story had such a wonderful moral to it, greed does kill the joy of freedom. You cannot take something away without losing a lot. Beautiful story, my friend. You tell them so well. :) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 20-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Hello Happy Traveller, Thank you for reading my friend. Love, Kay. :-) XX
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Very well done Kay! I love stories about native people
and the stories they tell their young. I have a book
about American Indian lore. I find these stories very interesting. Love the words your tribes come up with like Billabong. They are musical! LOL Enjoyed! Nancy
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Very well done Kay! I love stories about native people
and the stories they tell their young. I have a book
about American Indian lore. I find these stories very interesting. Love the words your tribes come up with like Billabong. They are musical! LOL Enjoyed! Nancy
Comment Written 20-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Hello Nancy, Thanks so much for reading; glad you enjoyed my story. Why don't you write about your indigenous people? Love, Kay :-) XX
Comment from fionageorge
Kay, what a lovely 'dreamtime' story, and what a wonderful lesson the children have learned within that story. No, we cannot harness nature for our personal greed. I absolutely wish more aboriginal history, culture and dreamtime stories were taught in our schools in Australia. It is so important, not only to the aborigines, but to all of us and our children. Thank you so much, my friend, for sharing this with us. Wonderful writing. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Kay, what a lovely 'dreamtime' story, and what a wonderful lesson the children have learned within that story. No, we cannot harness nature for our personal greed. I absolutely wish more aboriginal history, culture and dreamtime stories were taught in our schools in Australia. It is so important, not only to the aborigines, but to all of us and our children. Thank you so much, my friend, for sharing this with us. Wonderful writing. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment Written 20-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Hello Marijke, Thanks so much for reading. I agree, more should be done to bring our people to the eye of the world. My grandmother was aboriginal. Love, Kay. :-)
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:o) xxxx Marijke
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
Very glad for the glossary of terms for this one! LOL
A good tale, well told, but a few bits & pieces for editing, if you wish.
How the land and it's creatures - its creatures.
"Grandmother, we are too old for childish stories," - I think this should end with a full stop rather than a comma.
Not much meat, still it will add to our men's hunt. - need closing speech marks here.
Ma-Ma of the Kurria tribe, lived on the banks of the Diamantina River.- I wasn't sure about the repetitiveness of this information as this is set out at thee start of the piece.
There was one lonely spirit called err...Ma-Ma forgot that spirit so long ago now. Oh, I remember, his name, his name were Goomidgie." - this needs edited for speech marks.
Some speech marks are missing from Ma-Ma's telling of the story. Either use them all the time or don't use them at all. It gets a bit difficult to separate the story from the rest of the narrative at times.
All the best
GMG
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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Hi there,
Very glad for the glossary of terms for this one! LOL
A good tale, well told, but a few bits & pieces for editing, if you wish.
How the land and it's creatures - its creatures.
"Grandmother, we are too old for childish stories," - I think this should end with a full stop rather than a comma.
Not much meat, still it will add to our men's hunt. - need closing speech marks here.
Ma-Ma of the Kurria tribe, lived on the banks of the Diamantina River.- I wasn't sure about the repetitiveness of this information as this is set out at thee start of the piece.
There was one lonely spirit called err...Ma-Ma forgot that spirit so long ago now. Oh, I remember, his name, his name were Goomidgie." - this needs edited for speech marks.
Some speech marks are missing from Ma-Ma's telling of the story. Either use them all the time or don't use them at all. It gets a bit difficult to separate the story from the rest of the narrative at times.
All the best
GMG
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Hmmm...I shall look at it again. I don't like getting 4 stars. Makes me feel as if I haven't written a good story. I know it's good. Also, it is Australian English and grammar.
Comment from beizanten
Interesting and attention grabbing first paragraph. Good and intriguing second paragraph. The characters are interesting and believable. Interesting story and even more interesting ending he is telling them death is part of nature right.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Interesting and attention grabbing first paragraph. Good and intriguing second paragraph. The characters are interesting and believable. Interesting story and even more interesting ending he is telling them death is part of nature right.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Hello beizanten, Thanks so much for reading. Yes, death is part of nature, but I chose to send the grandmother home and thought it applicable for her to go with the spirit she told the story about. Bless you, Kay :-) XX
Comment from Nika2016
It is an excellent story of the Dreamtime, but it seems he won again. He took grandmother.
This would be a nice children's book with illustrations.
Your story rocks! Smile.
Xxxxxxx
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
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It is an excellent story of the Dreamtime, but it seems he won again. He took grandmother.
This would be a nice children's book with illustrations.
Your story rocks! Smile.
Xxxxxxx
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
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Hey! Thanks so much for reading. I would like to publish one day. As you say, with illustrations. Blessings, K. :-)
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent. a beautiful story and well told. I could find no errors and found the story to be most interesting. The ending was rather abrupt but good.
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reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
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Excellent. a beautiful story and well told. I could find no errors and found the story to be most interesting. The ending was rather abrupt but good.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
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Hello pretty blue birds. Thanks for reading, the photo must have made you glad (thus your site name.) Blessings, K.
