The Gobbledegooks
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Dragon Surprise"Children's Fantasy Poems
65 total reviews
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Well written poem depicting these creatures are having way too much fun.
Poor dragon. What did he ever do to anyone? Why shouldn't he enjoy some cake and good times too?
Touch of humor thrown into this as well.
Should be a good contest entry.
reply by the author on 25-May-2016
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Well written poem depicting these creatures are having way too much fun.
Poor dragon. What did he ever do to anyone? Why shouldn't he enjoy some cake and good times too?
Touch of humor thrown into this as well.
Should be a good contest entry.
Comment Written 25-May-2016
reply by the author on 25-May-2016
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Thank you, Brett.
Steve
Comment from kriver
Hi,
This is a good descriptive children's story poem.
It has very good imagery
for the reader to picture in their mind.
Over all it is a good write.
Best regards,
K River
reply by the author on 25-May-2016
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Hi,
This is a good descriptive children's story poem.
It has very good imagery
for the reader to picture in their mind.
Over all it is a good write.
Best regards,
K River
Comment Written 25-May-2016
reply by the author on 25-May-2016
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Thanks for the kind words.
Steve
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
After all that rich, sugary and tasty pastries the dragon goes back to sleep. The old saying tummy full, eyes quickly close to sleep. A great story how to keep a dragon happy and sleepy lol.
reply by the author on 25-May-2016
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After all that rich, sugary and tasty pastries the dragon goes back to sleep. The old saying tummy full, eyes quickly close to sleep. A great story how to keep a dragon happy and sleepy lol.
Comment Written 25-May-2016
reply by the author on 25-May-2016
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Sandra, thanks for the kind review. I guess a dragon is not too much different from a man, after all!
Steve
Comment from create4christ
First of all, good luck on your contest. This definitely deserves recognition! I review children's books and have been for awhile now. I hope you consider publishing it as a picture book. It is very good. Your rhyme, your rhythm, and your description are impeccable.
Quite well done. Thank you for sharing your wonderful talent.
reply by the author on 25-May-2016
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First of all, good luck on your contest. This definitely deserves recognition! I review children's books and have been for awhile now. I hope you consider publishing it as a picture book. It is very good. Your rhyme, your rhythm, and your description are impeccable.
Quite well done. Thank you for sharing your wonderful talent.
Comment Written 24-May-2016
reply by the author on 25-May-2016
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Thank you for the kind words and six stars.
Yes, I would like to get this (and the whole series) published. I have six of these things now. I did submit a couple of the poems to a publisher last year, but no joy. Perhaps it is time to try again...
Steve
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I know what you mean...but, keep trying. It's good.
Comment from Leineco
Delightful!
As flowers burst forth and baby birds chirp
a dragon, too, awakes with a burp
Rupert and Hilda (fresh from their...meeting)
confer and predict under eating
Baking commences - piled onto wagon
to satisfy hunger that's ragin'
(Poor thing hasn't eaten in ages!)
cream-cakes, pastries and pies soon assuages
But Dragon Surprise Cake tops it all off
tryptophan kicks in and Dragon drops-off
back into slumber - townsfolk say "Whew"
Prince Rupert is greeted, "Callay and Callooh"
;-)
What a fun read :-)
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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Delightful!
As flowers burst forth and baby birds chirp
a dragon, too, awakes with a burp
Rupert and Hilda (fresh from their...meeting)
confer and predict under eating
Baking commences - piled onto wagon
to satisfy hunger that's ragin'
(Poor thing hasn't eaten in ages!)
cream-cakes, pastries and pies soon assuages
But Dragon Surprise Cake tops it all off
tryptophan kicks in and Dragon drops-off
back into slumber - townsfolk say "Whew"
Prince Rupert is greeted, "Callay and Callooh"
;-)
What a fun read :-)
Comment Written 24-May-2016
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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Thanks for the fun review. You should obviously try writing one of these yourself.
Steve
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Very cute ... very creative! This is a delightful children's poem, and is an excellent entry for the Story In a Poem contest, Steve.
Alliterations galore! ... loved them all! Excellent imagery is created for your reader.
"That dragon's just starving, I'm willing to venture he
Hasn't been fed since the fourth or fifth century" ... I laughed out loud at this. :) A perfect ending ... of course he's gone back to sleep ... he's stuffed!
This was a fun read, Steve!
Connie
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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Very cute ... very creative! This is a delightful children's poem, and is an excellent entry for the Story In a Poem contest, Steve.
Alliterations galore! ... loved them all! Excellent imagery is created for your reader.
"That dragon's just starving, I'm willing to venture he
Hasn't been fed since the fourth or fifth century" ... I laughed out loud at this. :) A perfect ending ... of course he's gone back to sleep ... he's stuffed!
This was a fun read, Steve!
Connie
Comment Written 24-May-2016
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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Thanks, Connie.
Opinion is divided about venture he as a rhyme for century - some readers felt it put the meter off. others, like you have ot as one of their favourite bits!
And yes, I had to send him back to sleep before somebody got hurt - can't have that in the land of the Gobbledegooks!
Steve
Comment from Pam (respa)
-I love the Gobbledgooks poems.
-Great rhyme, meter, story, use of words, and creativity.
-The poem flows so well, I stay involved in the story.
-The Gobbledgooks seem like a lot of fun.
-I like Rupert's plan with all the pastries.
-This is probably my favorite part:
"The cream-cakes he gobbles, in less than a minute,
Then swallows the cart, with the pies that are in it."
-I figured the dragon would soon go to sleep,
but before that, I like how the dragon shares his pastries with the soldiers.
-Thanks for sharing, and hope you do well in the contest, such a good entry.
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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-I love the Gobbledgooks poems.
-Great rhyme, meter, story, use of words, and creativity.
-The poem flows so well, I stay involved in the story.
-The Gobbledgooks seem like a lot of fun.
-I like Rupert's plan with all the pastries.
-This is probably my favorite part:
"The cream-cakes he gobbles, in less than a minute,
Then swallows the cart, with the pies that are in it."
-I figured the dragon would soon go to sleep,
but before that, I like how the dragon shares his pastries with the soldiers.
-Thanks for sharing, and hope you do well in the contest, such a good entry.
Comment Written 24-May-2016
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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Thank you very much for the thoughtful review and the six stars - much appreciated. They're a fairly nice bunch, the Gobbledegooks. Even the dragon turns out to be fairly harmless!
Steve
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You are very welcome for the review and stars. Yes, the Gobbledegooks are a nice bunch, even the dragon.
Comment from rspoet
A magician of words and fantasy
with rhyming stupendous, news-fangled, bespangled
and meter that skips over gobbledebrooks, crannies and nooks
alliteration a dragon could die for and even bake pie for
or simply a stupend-wonderful poem
and the goobledegooks cheer with a tear in their eye
for they all ate a piece of the dragon surprise
Well done
Good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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A magician of words and fantasy
with rhyming stupendous, news-fangled, bespangled
and meter that skips over gobbledebrooks, crannies and nooks
alliteration a dragon could die for and even bake pie for
or simply a stupend-wonderful poem
and the goobledegooks cheer with a tear in their eye
for they all ate a piece of the dragon surprise
Well done
Good luck in the contest
Comment Written 24-May-2016
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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Thanks RS for the fun review and the six glittering stars. I'm happy that you enjoyed this little romp, in the peaceful land of the Gobbledegooks, where even the dragons are nice guys!
Steve
Comment from seaglass
This is such a fun story and must become a children's book. I love all the silly words. Best of all I like the wisdom of settling possible conflict without violence
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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This is such a fun story and must become a children's book. I love all the silly words. Best of all I like the wisdom of settling possible conflict without violence
Comment Written 24-May-2016
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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Thank you. Yep, even the dragon is non-violent - no maiden-sacrificing or anything. Wouldn't it be nice?!
Thanks for stopping by.
Steve
Comment from infinityyingyang
This was a very interesting story and definitely made me interested in reading more about the Gobbledegooks. This is a story I'd read to my future children as it's charming and whimsical yet also very thought provoking.
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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This was a very interesting story and definitely made me interested in reading more about the Gobbledegooks. This is a story I'd read to my future children as it's charming and whimsical yet also very thought provoking.
Comment Written 24-May-2016
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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Thank you for the very kind words.
If you have the time and inclination, you can go to my portfolio and click on the magnifying glass search icon. That brings all the 'books' up to the top, and I think the Gobbledegooks are second on the lost. While you are there, why don't you check out Cheezel the Weasel?
Steve