Sleep peaceful now
A Child loss16 total reviews
Comment from pmait
Truly excellent. I have not lost a child, but have tried to comfort those who have, though you can do little but be present with them. Here are some ideas to polish the poem if you agree with them:
line 4--I would begin with "while we sing"
line 12--seems awkward. Maybe, "high in your heavenly sky"?
line 15--delete the comma
last line--"we're seeing from afar"
These are small things that might smooth a very good, comforting poem.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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Truly excellent. I have not lost a child, but have tried to comfort those who have, though you can do little but be present with them. Here are some ideas to polish the poem if you agree with them:
line 4--I would begin with "while we sing"
line 12--seems awkward. Maybe, "high in your heavenly sky"?
line 15--delete the comma
last line--"we're seeing from afar"
These are small things that might smooth a very good, comforting poem.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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Thanks so much p have revisited and tweaked the lines you suggested hope it s rhyming reads better now
much appreciated
dip
Comment from VaV-VOOM
Nice poem, I really enjoyed reviewing it, and I really like the picture too. Thank you so much for taking the time to sharing with the world. My favorite is the 2nd stanza. Write On! VaV-VOOM!
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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Nice poem, I really enjoyed reviewing it, and I really like the picture too. Thank you so much for taking the time to sharing with the world. My favorite is the 2nd stanza. Write On! VaV-VOOM!
Comment Written 23-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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Thankyou V really appreciate your comments
dip
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Your so welcome, VaV-VOOM!
Comment from royowen
Nice thoughtful work, Dip the poem resonates with compassion for those children unfortunately taken way before their time. The wording is articulate, poignant and very sad, nicely in abcb rhyming, well done, Dip, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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Nice thoughtful work, Dip the poem resonates with compassion for those children unfortunately taken way before their time. The wording is articulate, poignant and very sad, nicely in abcb rhyming, well done, Dip, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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Thank you Roy your comments are always appreciated
dip
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Most welcome
Comment from William Ross
This is a great dedication to all the children that die out there, far to many some for no good reason. thanks for sharing this and have a great day
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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This is a great dedication to all the children that die out there, far to many some for no good reason. thanks for sharing this and have a great day
Comment Written 23-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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thankyou so much for commenting William much appreciated
dip
Comment from jusylee72
So beautifully written. I lost a son this year. He was not a child. He was 37 and for no reason I can understand had a heart attack. Your poem brought me comfort tonight. Thank you for that.
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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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So beautifully written. I lost a son this year. He was not a child. He was 37 and for no reason I can understand had a heart attack. Your poem brought me comfort tonight. Thank you for that.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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thankyou so much jusy lee and my heart goes out to you so glad it touched a chord with you
dip
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
It is the saddest experience any parent can go through to loose a little one through death. When i hear about a y child that died my heart is broken.
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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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It is the saddest experience any parent can go through to loose a little one through death. When i hear about a y child that died my heart is broken.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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same is mine it must be so hard. Thankyou Sandra for your compassion
dip
