Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

Well I'm from the old country so I have no problem with your rhyming its more your lining that getsme. The limerick form is a five line affar just like your second one here which is perfect but you've got six lines in your first one and I can't get it to work rhythmically. That needs a tweak.

 Comment Written 23-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016

Thanks yeah I started out not looking for Limerick but I tend to do that with a lot of my poems. I will work on that first verse see what I can do. A good old friend has given me a bunch of other corrections as well. Thanks for not marking me down even with the unlimerick first verse. I know we have met before.

Comment from VaV-VOOM

Excellent

Nice poem my friend, and I really did enjoy reviewing it, and I really like lines seven and eight. Thank you for sharing with us all, and the picture fits great. Write On! VaV-VOOM!

 Comment Written 23-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016

Thanks friend. pretty sure we have met before. Appreciate the encouragement. One of my long time friends has given me a bunch of changes to work on and someone else has said the first verse needs to get back to Limerick as the second is so stick around.

reply by VaV-VOOM on 23-Apr-2016

I will, great poem. VaV-VOOM!

Comment from Autumn Splendour

Excellent

What a funny, quirky poem with a language that fits the mood and content. Delightful. My take:

How long has it been

Since a dream was your scene?

And your sheep counting effort was sated.
The image fits the poem to boot.

 Comment Written 23-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016

Yeah I copied the old bloke from my Life Begins at 40 cup we threw out as it broke. I wanted it for his bonnet he had on, hehe. Thanks. have a bunch of corrections I need to work on let you all know when they are done.

Comment from Senyai

Excellent

Ah, sleep is elusive some times and exasperation is high. You nailed the emotion. Your funny picture added to the humor of your well written work.

Knowing where you're from does help greatly with the rhyme.... I would love to visit Australia some day.

Have a great weekend, Sankey
Senyai

 Comment Written 23-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016

Thanks friend I think we have met before maybe a while ago. The old bloke is from my old Life begins at 40 cup. I wanted him for the bonnet. The cup had broken but I got the picture before we chucked it. This is all repeating of course. I have a bunch o corrections to work on then let you all know when they are done.

Comment from Writeling

Excellent

Hi, A lovely amusing poem, illustrated well. I think your use of 'gorn' and 'dowanna' add much to the flippant flavour,

With best wishes, Writeling

 Comment Written 23-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016

Thanks new friend not sure we have met before. One of my long time FS friends has pointed out some fixes needed will let you all know when they are done. Try and find your stuff as I get time.

reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016

Thanks new friend not sure we have met before. One of my long time FS friends has pointed out some fixes needed will let you all know when they are done. Try and find your stuff as I get time.

Comment from William Ross

Excellent

Ok, I go with the language barrier on the rhyming I don't speak Australian, great witty fun piece. Thanks for the share, have a great day

 Comment Written 23-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016

Thanks mate appreciate you coming by and the understanding for us Aussies.

reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016

Thanks mate appreciate you coming by and the understanding for us Aussies.

Comment from michaelcahill

Excellent

Hey there! "Bout time, mate. It all rhymes to me. I thought I said to wait until I smiled to snap a photo of me. Well, I guess you got tired of waiting.
This is a scream and I'm one of those, "sleep's overrated" types. HA! That's what we say because we can't.
This was funny and a great fun poem.
Now, keep it up and not so many looooooong breaks! mikey

 Comment Written 23-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016

Thanks Mikey hey does the rule about getting stuff out for review every 2 years apply to only one of my works or can I di that with all of em? Once only of course? Appreciate you coming by.

reply by michaelcahill on 23-Apr-2016

Everything as far as I know. I've got quite a few now I could put back out.

reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016

Thanks Mikey hey does the rule about getting stuff out for review every 2 years apply to only one of my works or can I di that with all of em? Once only of course? Appreciate you coming by.

reply by michaelcahill on 23-Apr-2016

All of them. Once two years passes on a piece, it's good to go. I started Aug. 2013, so anything from April 23, 2014 and earlier is eligible. That's two years ago and before.

reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016

Thanks mate have to get on em! I renewed too soon our dollar improved more on the green back AFTER I renewed! I could renew for another year on top I guess hehe.

Comment from dmt1967

Excellent

The picture made me laugh out loud lol. A grown man in a diaper with a rattle is not as creepy as people make out. I enjoyed this poem very much. He doesn't look very happy, though. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 23-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016

Well I gave the picture mainly for the bonnet hehe. A friend gave me the mug it came from when I turned 40 I said this already I know. Thanks very much for the encouragement. I think we have met before pretty sure.

reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016

Well I gave the picture mainly for the bonnet hehe. A friend gave me the mug it came from when I turned 40 I said this already I know. Thanks very much for the encouragement. I think we have met before pretty sure.

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

I find sleep a precious luxury. When something bothers me in my sleep I can get truly upset. The older we get the more we appreciate a little bit of sleep

 Comment Written 23-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016

Thanks Sandra, I also suffer Sleep Apnoea and use a CPAP machine as well.I had something on my mind I really wanted to unload so as soon as I work at just after 3am today I got up. Never really got back to sleep, after I sent the message I wanted, afterwards, either.

Comment from Janet Foor

Excellent

Lack of sleep will do that to you. You can wake up with a bee your bonnet. LOL Great picture. Fun poem. Well done.

Blessings
Janet

 Comment Written 22-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016

Thanks friend glad you enjoyed it. have found some really sympathetic reviews in here today. Cheers.