Comment from Selina Stambi

Excellent

Your memoirs continue to fascinate me, Shari. Deep down I wonder if they both yearned to be in each other's lives, but just couldn't because of their personalities and, of course, the eternal parent-issues.

Sonali



would offend those academics who lived in an ivory tower(?)

Suggest: I kn(e)w my flamboyant ways (had)often embarrassed her ... OR ...

I know my flamboyant ways often embarrassed her. (just a thought)

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Jan-2016

Thanks for your suggestion, Selina, and catching the SPAG. I sit corrected. LOL
As to your input, I for one would have liked the Barb I knew to be back in my life. Had she carried out her plan and moved to Florida in the winter that might have happened.

Comment from Rosalyne

Excellent

Hi, Shari,
I'm so sorry you've had to go through such a difficult time. Losing a loved one is hard, and harder when life's complications step in. Even though your eulogy wasn't fully read, your words and meaning were heartfelt and written with love. Shari, being a bubbly extroverted person is special! You are a beautiful person with a vibrant personality! How wonderful to be your own person!
Bye, my friend.
Hugs
Rosalyne :)

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Jan-2016

Thanks, Rosalyne. Wish my sister had felt that way. We were as opposite as sisters can get and yes, it was complications that set it.

Comment from boxergirl

Excellent

Hey Shari,
I know it was disappointing to have most of your notes excluded. And you can only guess at the reason why. Barb's picture matches the image you created...very pretty...but so are you, my dear. I can this see short post as a bridge to your next scene when Barb unloads all her baggage.

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Jan-2016

Thanks, BG. She may have had looks and brains, but sometimes, no common sense!

Comment from Muffins

Excellent

I think there were underline reasons that Barbara had against you to be absent from her service. And allowing a non family member to cut your eulogy out was unkind.

The picture accompanying this piece show a strong beautiful woman. Her personality is vibrant in the photo.

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Jan-2016

Appreciate your comment on the photo. She was strong too. But I sure didn't envy her the cards she dealt for herself. Bad marriages and playing the dating game for one thing.

Comment from barkingdog

Excellent

Oh, boy. I can tell that she's leaning on you for support in relieving he feelings about your all's mother.
Why do you have to always be the support system? I guess that's just the way it was with her. She could hurt you and you'd still be there for her. ( I know that not allowing you to come to her memorial service and dismissing your eulogy was a real blow .)

:) e

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Jan-2016

Dismissing my eulogy was too much, but then how can you stay angry at someone who is going to die?

I was so happy that I could help free her mind from the chains that bound it. Bobby had urged her to talk with me about her feelings many times, but she refused.

Comment from Mystic Angel 7777

Excellent

This actually brought tears to my eyes. I could feel the pain it would evoke to have written down your feelings in tribute only to have them discarded - but at least they provided some measure of closure and the departed see and hear all so the words are never really wasted. I am glad this ended with the knowledge that she was able to let all of the weight she had been carrying out - even without hearing all the details one can sense that the relief was much needed and lifted a very heavy load. As always, this is beautifully penned and I thank you very much for sharing it.

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Jan-2016

You're right about closure. Even if she didn't use it, she knew at the end how much I thought of her.

Comment from judiverse

Excellent

The photo really lives up to your billing about Barb's looks. Attractive and professional. You contrast your appearance with hers very well. I can understand that you would be hurt by being excluded from her memorial service and having only a short portion of your eulogy read. She seemed to want to be in control even of her memorial, as she had even prepared the minister's speech. I had a bit of difficulty following when you referred to the phone call from Barbara saying you needed to talk. Maybe more of a break before that part would have helped the transition. judi

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Jan-2016

Appreciate your comment on the photo. I put it there for a reason. The next chapter will include a photo Norm sent to me --Barbara with her two students at graduation.
I'll look over the phone call business again. But if memory serves me right, those were her very words and she didn't waste time getting to the reason for her phone call.

reply by judiverse on 14-Jan-2016

You're welcome. You've been including so much that must be painful for you to write about. judi

Comment from mountainwriter49

Excellent

Hi, Shari,

I'm so sorry I've been active and missed so many of the chapters in this book. In your usual style, it's easy at least to catch up to the moment with the brief summaries provided at the beginning.

The theme in this chapter is all too familiar in so many families. I appreciate your candor and could feel the emotive impacts because by the death of a sibling and all the demons that preceded and perhaps succeeded her passing.

Well done. I look forward to the next chapter.

Ray

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Jan-2016

Thanks, Ray. Don't apologize. I know how difficult it is to find time to write, much less review. I'm glad you could empathize with this.

Comment from Donya Quijote

Excellent

Still not real clear why she wanted to exclude you from the services. Bobby not attending is understandle, logistics would have been a big problem but airlines are equipped to handle some those conditions.

That was a big service. At least some of what you had to say was included. Your hurt is understandable given the recent reconciliation but I you didn't let that rejection naw at you.

Goodie.... Now we get to find out what your sister really thought and felt, a good thing in the end though such revelations may come with some sharp points.

Something for you to consider: But why include me? should be either> Why not include me? or Why exclude me?

Looking forward to the next chapter...

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 14-Jan-2016

I used your suggestion. Thanks, Diane. I've been doing some mind shifting on the exclusion. Rather than think she thought I wouldn't fit it, I figured she wanted to save me the time and money for air travel . :-)

Comment from Debbie Noland

Excellent

It is interesting how, time and again, you show your family existing on two levels--the public one where you are together and interacting, and the private realm of only intimately personal feelings. Sometimes, as we have seen in past chapters, the personal seethes up like hot lava into a public setting.

Your family stories maintain a constant conflict between heart and mind. It is a plot line that moves up and down in a somewhat regular pattern, and then occasionally spikes. I sense that we are about to get a spike.

I continue to be amazed at the way you deal so adeptly with autobiography. I would think that would be the most difficult thing to make interesting to readers. And yet you prove over and over that it can be done well.

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Jan-2016

I'm super awed by your review, Debbie. I'll give it a six. :-)
Okay, a nomination anyway.