THE TRINING Book Three
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Sacred Rites of Conjugality"JOURNEY INTO REDEMPTION
33 total reviews
Comment from trumby
Good work, mate.
As a bloke who was just married last October, I was understandably interested in this.
We were married in front of a judge in the Philippines and there was no-one to give Alona away, so I think that I've offended "Mojo." However, there WAS a very nice transvestite that gave her a make-over.
I've been following this story, mate. and it really is very good.
I sympathize with Doctrex. It must be difficult to manipulate a homicidal Dictator.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2016
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Good work, mate.
As a bloke who was just married last October, I was understandably interested in this.
We were married in front of a judge in the Philippines and there was no-one to give Alona away, so I think that I've offended "Mojo." However, there WAS a very nice transvestite that gave her a make-over.
I've been following this story, mate. and it really is very good.
I sympathize with Doctrex. It must be difficult to manipulate a homicidal Dictator.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2016
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A transvestite beautician? LOL, you have quite a sense of humor, friend. I've enjoyed having you read my stuff and I've enjoyed reading yours. YOU are a gifted poet.
Comment from June Estep Fiorelli
Well, Pondria's ultimate plan escapes me, but he's obviously busy weaving his web.
I think there are some small cuts to be made once you do some final editing.
My understanding is that there are 2 things at work concerning weddings, One is mojo, the magic. The other is the Rules of Variation. Do the rules of Variation only apply when there is no father to give the bride away? Or, do they apply to that situation as well as to the degree to which one accepts the rules of magic?
In the paragraph about the deaths, I assume the father dies because he doesn't accept the magic. The sentence is rather vague about what he thinks is a waste of time,,,the marriage?...the variations?...the giving away? Since the nearest to any speaking the father did are implied as calling something a waste of time, and the words are later referred to as resulting in losing his tongue since "His words were his deeds", we need to know to what they ar being applied in my opinion.
Nitty-gritty:
1) Is there another word to use for Axtilla's request...not that she prefers...she demands. Demands doesn't seem quite right. Why would she demand? Surely Ginot would question that. It would have to be something imply her fearfulness of the magic...or her revenge...something that clearly justifies her request in Ginot's eyes.
2) Is closed fist redundant? Just asking. LOL
Intriguing chapter. Waiting for the kill.
June
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2016
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Well, Pondria's ultimate plan escapes me, but he's obviously busy weaving his web.
I think there are some small cuts to be made once you do some final editing.
My understanding is that there are 2 things at work concerning weddings, One is mojo, the magic. The other is the Rules of Variation. Do the rules of Variation only apply when there is no father to give the bride away? Or, do they apply to that situation as well as to the degree to which one accepts the rules of magic?
In the paragraph about the deaths, I assume the father dies because he doesn't accept the magic. The sentence is rather vague about what he thinks is a waste of time,,,the marriage?...the variations?...the giving away? Since the nearest to any speaking the father did are implied as calling something a waste of time, and the words are later referred to as resulting in losing his tongue since "His words were his deeds", we need to know to what they ar being applied in my opinion.
Nitty-gritty:
1) Is there another word to use for Axtilla's request...not that she prefers...she demands. Demands doesn't seem quite right. Why would she demand? Surely Ginot would question that. It would have to be something imply her fearfulness of the magic...or her revenge...something that clearly justifies her request in Ginot's eyes.
2) Is closed fist redundant? Just asking. LOL
Intriguing chapter. Waiting for the kill.
June
Comment Written 04-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2016
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June, I apologize but your comments are so important to this chapter that I had to paste them to my review folder. I woke up this morning to 60 + reviewers I'd not yet thanked. Your thoughts are GOLD!
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Jay
= Interesting conversation between the brothers.
= I just keep thinking the wedding isn't going to take place.
= Of course, on a rare occasion, I have been wrong. (*<*)
= Like the 'Rules of Variations'. Who knew?
= Good chapter.
* Happy--2016! *
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jackie/Jax (*<*)
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2016
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Hi, Jay
= Interesting conversation between the brothers.
= I just keep thinking the wedding isn't going to take place.
= Of course, on a rare occasion, I have been wrong. (*<*)
= Like the 'Rules of Variations'. Who knew?
= Good chapter.
* Happy--2016! *
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jackie/Jax (*<*)
Comment Written 04-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2016
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Thanks, Jax. Well, you'll have to wait for the wedding ... or whatever. LOL, thanks, as always.
Comment from boxergirl
Lol...I love the way Doctrex is setting up Glnot with this wild tale about the Sacred Rites of Conjugality. Glnot is chomping at the bits to find out the rest of the story. I am wondering what that will be myself. Cant wait!
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2016
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Lol...I love the way Doctrex is setting up Glnot with this wild tale about the Sacred Rites of Conjugality. Glnot is chomping at the bits to find out the rest of the story. I am wondering what that will be myself. Cant wait!
Comment Written 04-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2016
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I hope it works out to your satisfaction, Karen. I'm so happy to have you aboard for this one.
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Good continuation, Jay.
A few things to consider/look at:
(")I wouldn't give it a moment's thought. - insert opening quote
Tell me about it()" - I don't read this as a question. More of a demand.
the Sacred Rites of Conjugation - you refer to them previously as the Sacred Rites of Conjugality. Conjugality is not recognized by my spell-checker. Conjugation is. I personally prefer and recommend using Conjugation throughout. If you'll pardon the expression! LOL!
And you're using 'okay' again, although maybe you decided to do so, but thought I'd mention it.
who probably thought it was something you tell a weak-minded person over a tankard of ale." - Nice! A wee punch right in Rhuether's nads.
Bravo.
Av
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2016
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Good continuation, Jay.
A few things to consider/look at:
(")I wouldn't give it a moment's thought. - insert opening quote
Tell me about it()" - I don't read this as a question. More of a demand.
the Sacred Rites of Conjugation - you refer to them previously as the Sacred Rites of Conjugality. Conjugality is not recognized by my spell-checker. Conjugation is. I personally prefer and recommend using Conjugation throughout. If you'll pardon the expression! LOL!
And you're using 'okay' again, although maybe you decided to do so, but thought I'd mention it.
who probably thought it was something you tell a weak-minded person over a tankard of ale." - Nice! A wee punch right in Rhuether's nads.
Bravo.
Av
Comment Written 03-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2016
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Oh! I just caught Av's little funny! LOL, I'll take your recommendation under consideration, friend. I had to opt for Conjugality, which is a valid usage. I don't like conjugation since it reminds me of grammar. I always appreciate your close reading of my posts. This is no exception. took care of the nits. I've added "Okay" to my find/delete. Cause I agree.
Comment from Curly Girly
Doctrex has a gruesome tale to tell. A girl of 19 died of heart failure while her father died through loss of blood because his tongue was cut out.
Did Doctrex do this? He is a facilitator, does that mean he carries out orders to kill? Not sure.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2016
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Doctrex has a gruesome tale to tell. A girl of 19 died of heart failure while her father died through loss of blood because his tongue was cut out.
Did Doctrex do this? He is a facilitator, does that mean he carries out orders to kill? Not sure.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2016
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Don't take Doctrex's tale as literal. He's "snowing" Glnot to get him to accept all the intricacies of the Mojo method. All of this is necessary for him to get Axtilla alone with him for their planning.
Comment from Tessa Kay
You're not the only one who can spin a yarn. Doctrex is quite a master at it. Love your beats that keep the tension going as he observes Rhuether's reaction. Very effective. And the fruit gives him an air of control. Nice detail.
-with the back of his hand in dismissal - doesn't sit right for me. The 'in dismissal' seems too far at the end. Consider: A 'dismissive whisk with the back of his hand'?
-Tomes exist - had to google that (thought it was a misprint of tombes..) . A large, heavy, scholarly book. Something else learned...
I was thinking of you and dashjianta when I read Stephen King. He changed names in his manuscripts when he thought about how hard they would be to pronounce on an audio book. Glnot would be an interesting one. Sounds like a name you'll need to click your tongue when pronouncing. You have some imagination with those names. :)
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2016
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You're not the only one who can spin a yarn. Doctrex is quite a master at it. Love your beats that keep the tension going as he observes Rhuether's reaction. Very effective. And the fruit gives him an air of control. Nice detail.
-with the back of his hand in dismissal - doesn't sit right for me. The 'in dismissal' seems too far at the end. Consider: A 'dismissive whisk with the back of his hand'?
-Tomes exist - had to google that (thought it was a misprint of tombes..) . A large, heavy, scholarly book. Something else learned...
I was thinking of you and dashjianta when I read Stephen King. He changed names in his manuscripts when he thought about how hard they would be to pronounce on an audio book. Glnot would be an interesting one. Sounds like a name you'll need to click your tongue when pronouncing. You have some imagination with those names. :)
Comment Written 03-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2016
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Thanks, Tessa. I'll check that dismissal gesture. I should change
Glnot to Herman? LOL, Thanks as always.
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John might be a safe bet. And Doctrex could be Peter..(LOL). Amazing what a difference a name makes. I think I'd rather go on clicking my tongue...:)
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is yet another great addition to the story from the author here. The plot continues in fine form and the story remains interesting. Well done yet again.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2016
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This is yet another great addition to the story from the author here. The plot continues in fine form and the story remains interesting. Well done yet again.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2016
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Many thanks tomes.
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My pleasure.
Comment from Eigle Rull
Excellent does not adequately describe this chapter. It is fantastic. I am enjoying the way Rhuether is being sucked into this plan that's going to take place. It is an exciting chapter, my friend. I'll be here for more of the story. Best wishes to you.
Always with respect,
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2016
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Excellent does not adequately describe this chapter. It is fantastic. I am enjoying the way Rhuether is being sucked into this plan that's going to take place. It is an exciting chapter, my friend. I'll be here for more of the story. Best wishes to you.
Always with respect,
Comment Written 03-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2016
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Thanks, Elgie. Yes it's important for Glnot to buy into it 100 %. Thanks foir the six!
Comment from c_lucas
Drex is beginning to make a believer out Glot. This is very well written, error free. I wonder how all of the will fix together. There is very good imagery. Good job.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2016
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Drex is beginning to make a believer out Glot. This is very well written, error free. I wonder how all of the will fix together. There is very good imagery. Good job.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2016
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Drex. You're getting awful personal with him aren't you? LOL, thanks, Charlie.