Reviews from

THE TRINING Book Three

Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Big Surprise For Doctrex"
JOURNEY INTO REDEMPTION

37 total reviews 
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Do I detect a little insurrection going on, Jay, I love the sheer "character" of the characters. I would be interesting inevitability to see this going. A little payback treachery, which is the best way to fight anybody, a sort of fifth column, I wonder why Doctrex won't give away Axtilla, another fascinating development, well done, my favoured story, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 28-Dec-2015


reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
    Yes, a insurrection is planned. Whether it will succeed ... read on. LOL, Thanks for reading and your kind words, Roy. Blessings.
reply by royowen on 28-Dec-2015
    Most welcome Jay
Comment from LIJ Red
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A newcomer, or one with much on his mind, might need to be told early on the Doctrex is talking to Chiel the chef. Otherwise, no glitches that I see, and the story marches on.

 Comment Written 28-Dec-2015


reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
    Thanks, Red. HOpe you had a good Christmas and that you have a published new year.
Comment from krprice
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Finally, he said. . . His eyes. . . look, and. . .

I walk. . . change eyes to gaze
Same with It was . . My eyes. . .change to gaze

I felt. . . Suggest: My chest compressed, and I grew short of breath.

Glnot, stared. . . Soon, he would. . .

Excellent chapter.

Karlene

 Comment Written 28-Dec-2015


reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
    Thanks for your generous rating and your suggestions. Have a Happy New year, Karlene.
Comment from Eigle Rull
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This well written chapter is about as good as one can get. It was interesting the way the motto and tattoo's were meant. It was cool also that when he got back to his room, he found a coded message that only he could read. This chapter held my interest very well because of the great dialog. It left me wondering how things would go at the wedding. Best wishes to you, my good friend.

Always with respect,

 Comment Written 28-Dec-2015


reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
    Thank you so much, Elgie. Your opinions are always so valuable to me and your encouragement appreciated. Have a Happy New Year.
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Another well written chapter. I like the three musketeers reference. The ending was good, he didn't want to give it away by being too interested in giving her away. I look forward to the next chapter.

 Comment Written 27-Dec-2015


reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
    Many thanks, Lance. Glad you enjoyed the Three Musketeers Reference. I was happy it came to me as a kind of bridge.
Comment from Curly Girly
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a well written chapter.
At last the meaning of the sign language is explained, and it sounds all very socialist: "One for all. All for one." / 3 Muskateers! Glad you mentioned it because I recognised it.
Doctrex has been asked to give his wife away so that his brother can marry her, but he refuses.
I'm not sure what the outcome will be.
Nicole

 Comment Written 27-Dec-2015


reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
    I hope you won't know what the outcome will be until I pop it on you. LOL. Thanks, Nicole for reading this through so diligently.
Comment from Drew Delaney
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You sure put a lot of work into this book, Jay. And it really shows. I like how you explain everything so well, and there is nothing to not understand.

Your writing is getting so professional along with other writers I follow who have been here for some time. It makes me sad that I decided to do other things instead. And the fire ruined everything I put my hands to, which tells me, at least when one writes something and makes sure it is safe online, you can still enjoy the benefits. I lost so much of my writing by being negligent with giving away a computer, or with erasing to make more room. What a bummer. I tried to retrieve some stuff here on Fanstory, but with the change of name and password, they cannot find it.

So, I'm saying all this to say this, keep on keeping on. You're doing so well.

Drew x

 Comment Written 27-Dec-2015


reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
    Oh, Drew. I feel so bad about your problem with retrieval. I had the same problem with about half of The Trining which had to be re-created. Not fun. You PLEASE take your own advice and keep on keeping on. God bless you this New Year.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

These last chapters are quite fine tuned, Jay. Of course all of your writing is very fine tuned, always.I think with this pending conflict the strategies must have been exhausting to work out though. Most enjoyable and exciting! Giddy

 Comment Written 27-Dec-2015


reply by the author on 27-Dec-2015
    Strangely, Giddy, they seemed to flow from mind to computer key. That frequently happens. What you think would be an easy write might have taken me weeks to get right. Giddy, you've blessed me with a six on this. Thank you so much.
Comment from foxangie123
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well you've done it again. I guess I should just avoid everybody else's work because yours is so stunningly awesome with your many unique writing capabilities I find myself breathless as I want to be-write like you. You would be an Outstanding Professor even if you did such online. Wow. Awesome Dude....

 Comment Written 27-Dec-2015


reply by the author on 27-Dec-2015
    Thanks for all the stunning compliments, Foxangie. I appreciate your enjoyment of my work.
reply by foxangie123 on 27-Dec-2015
    Awesome Work. Would you check out mine called I know. Would love your review.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
    Now I'm understanding more the other comment you made about my review of your poem
reply by foxangie123 on 28-Dec-2015
    Gift Yoyrself too if ya want:). I'm needy today😀
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
    I had already reviewed the poem "I know". I went back a few moments ago and added a comment. You might want to read it.

    It troubles me when you say you're needy today.
reply by foxangie123 on 28-Dec-2015
    Sorry, just down in spirits.
Comment from boxergirl
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Really good scene, Jay, with feelings of the underlying tension simmering beneath the dialogue. I even felt a twinge of pity for Glnot as he spoke of Axtilla. Good stuff!

 Comment Written 27-Dec-2015


reply by the author on 27-Dec-2015
    Good. The pity should be--just, as you say, a twinge of it. Thank you so much for the 6 stars. You honor me with it, Karen. Have a Happy New Year.