Shepherd
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Of Righteousness"poems inspired by Psalm 23
28 total reviews
Comment from jmdg1954
I felt this read extremely well from beginning to end. Clear choice of words and a smooth flow of words.
Nicely done.,. John
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2015
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I felt this read extremely well from beginning to end. Clear choice of words and a smooth flow of words.
Nicely done.,. John
Comment Written 07-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2015
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Hi John,
Thank you so much for generous six stars and the encouraging comments! You brightened my evening!
Debi
Comment from Joan E.
I don't think I've ever read an example of this combined form before. I admired your repeats and rhymes to reinforce your message. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2015
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I don't think I've ever read an example of this combined form before. I admired your repeats and rhymes to reinforce your message. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 07-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2015
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Thank you for the encouraging review, Joan.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Very nice spiritual poem about God and love. Fine rhythm and flow through out the poem. I think you did a very good job.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2015
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Very nice spiritual poem about God and love. Fine rhythm and flow through out the poem. I think you did a very good job.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2015
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Thank you for the encouraging review. I appreciate your comments about the rhythm and flow of the poem.
Comment from Sis Cat
"By reaching out a loving hand
to those in need, we also grow."
This line resonated with me in your excellent poem. It spoke true to my faith and experiences. Your lines are beautifully smooth when read aloud, but I appreciate most your spiritual message. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2015
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"By reaching out a loving hand
to those in need, we also grow."
This line resonated with me in your excellent poem. It spoke true to my faith and experiences. Your lines are beautifully smooth when read aloud, but I appreciate most your spiritual message. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2015
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Hi Sis Cat,
Thank you so much for the great review, especially the comments about the spiritual message. Thank you for pointing out the lines that resonated with you. I appreciate the encouragement.
Debi
Comment from BeasPeas
This is so well done. Your pantoum sonnet reads and rhymes well. It seems a complicated form that makes sense and flows easily. Very nice. Marilyn
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2015
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This is so well done. Your pantoum sonnet reads and rhymes well. It seems a complicated form that makes sense and flows easily. Very nice. Marilyn
Comment Written 06-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2015
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Thank you, Marilyn. I appreciate the encouraging remarks about the the writing. I am happy you liked it. Debi
Comment from Pantygynt
I have not come across this combination of forms before and I find it most attractive. Your pantoum does everything a pantoum should do. The sonnet too looks slightly differently at the matter in each of the first two stanzas. When we get to the third, the Volta there is no "but" in the ninth line as is normally the case with a sonnet. Of course there can't be because of the conflict created by the requirement of the pantoum. However you get around this problem in your twelfth line which is one of the two new lines, and the tenth line, the other new one prepares us for it.
The final couplet brings together ther first and third lines of the poem as it must under the rules of the pantoum and, placed together serve to act as a summimg up of the whole.
You have taken on a complex task and by craftin g you lines well have achiev ed an excellent combination of the two forms. Very well done.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2015
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I have not come across this combination of forms before and I find it most attractive. Your pantoum does everything a pantoum should do. The sonnet too looks slightly differently at the matter in each of the first two stanzas. When we get to the third, the Volta there is no "but" in the ninth line as is normally the case with a sonnet. Of course there can't be because of the conflict created by the requirement of the pantoum. However you get around this problem in your twelfth line which is one of the two new lines, and the tenth line, the other new one prepares us for it.
The final couplet brings together ther first and third lines of the poem as it must under the rules of the pantoum and, placed together serve to act as a summimg up of the whole.
You have taken on a complex task and by craftin g you lines well have achiev ed an excellent combination of the two forms. Very well done.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2015
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Thank you for the wonderful review. This is a fun form to attempt. The volta is not required in this form. You are probably correct that it is because the pantoum elements makes it difficult to achieve.
I appreciate the thorough and detailed analysis. It made me take another look at the poem and see it from a different perspective.
Thank you for the encouragement.
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I belong to a poems and pints group here and every month whoever won the previous "challenge" sets the next one. When I next win I would like to set "Write a Pantoum Sonnet as my challenge, using your poem here as an example. I you have no objection.
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I belong to a poems and pints group here and every month whoever won the previous "challenge" sets the next one. When I next win I would like to set "Write a Pantoum Sonnet as my challenge, using your poem here as an example. I you have no objection.
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I am honored that you would consider using my work. You have my permission to use it as an example. If you want something non religious, I have a couple of pantoum sonnets that I wrote earlier about changlings. Let me know if you want the titles.
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Thank you it would be nice to have three to choose from regarding the form so I would like the titles very much. Yes please.
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Hi,
Sorry it took so long to get back to you. Try
"Beware Tonight" dated June 20, 2014.
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Thanks I will
Comment from Joy Graham
I'm grateful for your author notes to explain the pantoum sonnet form :) I needed to be reminded how it works. I like your theme and repeating lines. Everything comes across smoothly. Excellent meter. Great enjambment. Nice closing couplet. Nice image to complement this poem to make a lovely overall presentation.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015
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I'm grateful for your author notes to explain the pantoum sonnet form :) I needed to be reminded how it works. I like your theme and repeating lines. Everything comes across smoothly. Excellent meter. Great enjambment. Nice closing couplet. Nice image to complement this poem to make a lovely overall presentation.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015
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Hi Joy,
I should have read my own notes more carefully. A pantoum sonnet should be written in pentameter and I wrote it in tetrameter. It has been a while since we took that class from Brooke, hasn't it? and I haven't attempted one of these in a while. Oh well, I'll just call it modified. Thank you for the gracious comments about the writing. I appreciate your continued support, my friend.
Debi
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Bravo WJ. Very well done! What a wonderful message you have penned here my friend. I agree with every line you have written. God has shown us what to do for a more fulfilling way of life. :<) Nancy
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015
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Bravo WJ. Very well done! What a wonderful message you have penned here my friend. I agree with every line you have written. God has shown us what to do for a more fulfilling way of life. :<) Nancy
Comment Written 06-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015
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Thank you for the very encouraging review, Nancy. God bless. Debi
Comment from Writingfundimension
'By reaching out a loving hand
to those, in need, we also grow.
Then we can come to understand
the change of heart He'd have us know...'
So well said, Debi. I really enjoyed this lovely poem.
:) Bev
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015
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'By reaching out a loving hand
to those, in need, we also grow.
Then we can come to understand
the change of heart He'd have us know...'
So well said, Debi. I really enjoyed this lovely poem.
:) Bev
Comment Written 06-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015
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Hi Bev,
Thank you for the great review. I am so happy you enjoyed reading it.
Debi
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You're most welcome, Debi. A pleasure for sure. :)
Comment from Benny Beeharry
This is what we all need to be and do.be righteous and keep it. No so easy. This is a very cruel world.
And sometimes i do ask myself this question.
Why should I be a lamb in the company of wolves?
Only a few know the answer and one of them was butchered on the cross for being a lamb.
Honest i do not know the answer. The race for the meek and mild is fast ending here.
Benny Beeharry
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015
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This is what we all need to be and do.be righteous and keep it. No so easy. This is a very cruel world.
And sometimes i do ask myself this question.
Why should I be a lamb in the company of wolves?
Only a few know the answer and one of them was butchered on the cross for being a lamb.
Honest i do not know the answer. The race for the meek and mild is fast ending here.
Benny Beeharry
Comment Written 06-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015
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You have some wonderful questions, and you are right it isn't easy to always do the right thing. The world has a lot of cruelty in it, but there is also a lot of love and beauty if you look for it. I appreciate you sharing your insights on the theme. Usually you have such a positive message in your verses and I look forward to reading them. I hope the sun shines on you soon, Benny Beeharry. Thank you for stopping by. I always appreciate your comments. Debi