Shut that Damn Door
A metaphor about the mind16 total reviews
Comment from BeasPeas
What a nice poem this is. A positive, upbeat message that anyone can live by if they chose to do so. So freeing to let go of all that junk. Well presented and expressed. Marilyn/BeasPeas
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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What a nice poem this is. A positive, upbeat message that anyone can live by if they chose to do so. So freeing to let go of all that junk. Well presented and expressed. Marilyn/BeasPeas
Comment Written 18-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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Thank you Marilyn: I really appreciate hearing from you! HUGS! Vance
Comment from petalangela
I know this was not written with me in mind but it felt directed at me and had me weeping that somewhere someone has found a torch. I tried the God. Thing but it just never got through. If he is there he doesn't want me
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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I know this was not written with me in mind but it felt directed at me and had me weeping that somewhere someone has found a torch. I tried the God. Thing but it just never got through. If he is there he doesn't want me
Comment Written 18-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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Please believe me Petal, I did not write this because of our communications. It was motivated by another male friend of mine who delivers NOTHING but anger and hatred and remorse about every damn thing that happens every day in his life. He never has a word of gratitude or good news and just last night, drove me over the brink! Thanks for the five stars and feedback and pleas know you are LOVED and HUGS are on the way to you dear friend! Vance
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We have things to discuss did I get your e mail address do you need mine.
I could say sending love but I have realised over the last few weeks that I have no conception of the reality of love.. Hugs Back. Petal
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Oh, Dear Petal, be sure that GOD is indeed THERE at all times and wants to speak to you and hug you in so many ways. But a damaged and ripped soul is weak and terrorized into being wrapped within a thin blanket of self that is not easily opened to the expectation of cold, heartless wind, even in the presence of the endless warmth of THE SON, sun, love! Go ahead...He's there and plenty warm! Love, Vance
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Dear Petal: I will send you this giant billowing white cloud of genuine LOVE right now and all you need do is reach up an hug it and close your eyes! My soul is sending bright greetings and warm and sincere hugs! Vance
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You don't know me lol so you cannot love me not really
Comment from Jay Squires
Hey, Vance. I was pleased to find this in my inbox today. First of all, I loved your title. Quite informal with the "damn" in it. Personally, I wouldn't include the subject matter above the title. It preconceives the readers for what it's about, rather than let the poem do it for them.
An intelligent spiritual poem. Refreshing. As with any metaphor, the poem is as deep and layered as you want it to be.
The free will comes in with the acceptance to keep the door of one's mind locked from all the negative thoughts and prejudices.
Of course, what makes it a spiritual poem is the second choice to accept the golden pass of Christ's love to delete the negative files and thereafter leaving the door open to spiritual light.
One thing I would point out is the use of the ellipsis. Whether prose or poetry, you should always use only 3 dots with a space before and after. You used two dots once, three once and four dots twice.]
This was an enjoyable read, Vance.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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Hey, Vance. I was pleased to find this in my inbox today. First of all, I loved your title. Quite informal with the "damn" in it. Personally, I wouldn't include the subject matter above the title. It preconceives the readers for what it's about, rather than let the poem do it for them.
An intelligent spiritual poem. Refreshing. As with any metaphor, the poem is as deep and layered as you want it to be.
The free will comes in with the acceptance to keep the door of one's mind locked from all the negative thoughts and prejudices.
Of course, what makes it a spiritual poem is the second choice to accept the golden pass of Christ's love to delete the negative files and thereafter leaving the door open to spiritual light.
One thing I would point out is the use of the ellipsis. Whether prose or poetry, you should always use only 3 dots with a space before and after. You used two dots once, three once and four dots twice.]
This was an enjoyable read, Vance.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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Dear Jay: I just knew it would be a wonderful gift to have your brilliant brain and writing skills wash over the dust on my stuff and I'm so thankful for your wise and kind help with this. So many sincere thanks and I will indeed, pay attention to all those dots I so recklessly use in my eager writing! All the best and sincere thanks, Vance
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You are such a gentleman. I'll look forward to reading all you post.
Comment from lalajovanoski
You are such an amazing writer!!! I truly enjoyed reading this as you are so very talented! Thank you so very much for sharing this as I truly enjoyed reading
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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You are such an amazing writer!!! I truly enjoyed reading this as you are so very talented! Thank you so very much for sharing this as I truly enjoyed reading
Comment Written 18-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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Oh! Lala, you have made my day! I'm so delighted that you liked this work as I really consider you to be very gifted. I appreciate your very kind and encouraging comments and so glad to hear from you! Please don't be a strange:r..I'm falling in love! Hugs and Blessings! Vance
Comment from flylikeaneagle
His grayness: You really need to speak to high school kids and tell them to stop name calling and bullying. They throw words out and harm people with their hate. I agree the love is the key (1 Cor 13). The greatest is love and love opens doors. The Lord will guide us and give his scribes the words to write. Great free style poem! Wow, a keeper! flylikeaneagle
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reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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His grayness: You really need to speak to high school kids and tell them to stop name calling and bullying. They throw words out and harm people with their hate. I agree the love is the key (1 Cor 13). The greatest is love and love opens doors. The Lord will guide us and give his scribes the words to write. Great free style poem! Wow, a keeper! flylikeaneagle
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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Hi flylikeaneagle and thanks so much for your kind and encouraging review! I really appreciate your comments and agree that a special packaging of these thoughts for the school kids might be a very wise and meaningful undertaking! All the best! Vance
Comment from mommerry
This is a modern version of Pandora's box but does offer a solution - turn to the Lord? No - turn to Fan Story?? Very funny. There is one error: When is saw all the labels (When I saw...)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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This is a modern version of Pandora's box but does offer a solution - turn to the Lord? No - turn to Fan Story?? Very funny. There is one error: When is saw all the labels (When I saw...)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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Thanks so much for the correction and by all means, I do encourage everyone to turn to the Lord but just could not help myself from slipping in some sideways motivation for others at Fanstory to help cleanse some stuff rotting behind some of those door out there. Thanks for catching that word error too! ....... Thanks so much; HIS GRAYNESS
