Comment from N.K. Wagner

Exceptional

I love it. Steve. Everyone has these fears and doubts when on the brink of change. Seldom are they expressed such viscerally honest terms. Outstanding. :) Nancy

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015

Thanks, nancy - glad you found this worthy of a sixer...

Steve

Comment from Janelle

Excellent

Such a beautiful poem, with such a strong message and very well presented.

But lo, the slender thread of faith shines bright
entwined with love and patience, trust and hope.
A thousand craftsmen toiling through the night
could never manufacture such a rope.

These would be my favourite lines, picked from many others also worthy.

Excellent choice of photo to accompany the poem too! Good luck in the comp. Regards, Jan

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015

Janelle, thanks for the generous review.

Steve

Comment from watergirl

Excellent

"Nameless fears" is something which we can all relate to. You write well about this and the need for faith. I like the sound of your poem and rhymes well. I like the lines "a thousand craftsmen toiling through the night could never manufacture such a rope" I thought it well crafted and balanced, and of a nice length.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015

Thanks for the warm review.

Steve

Comment from buggaboo4699

Good

I believe that this poem was very deep and emotional. I greatly related to it. I must say that the flow seemed a bit off, but other than that it was practically a masterpiece. Thanks for sharing!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015

Thanks for taking the time to review.

Perhaps you could point me towards the lines where you felt the flow was off. If 'practically a masterpiece' earns four stars, I wouldn't mind seeing what you award five or six stars to...

Steve

reply by buggaboo4699 on 06-Jun-2015

Frankly I hardly ever award six stars and basically what I meant by the flow was off was meaning in my case that the amount of syllables in the lines and the way the words were used just seemed to be used the wrong way. There are lines where if you had used more words or less words or even just flipped words to a different place it would have been better. This was all meant as constructive criticism of course, not meant to seem belittling or judgmental.

reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015

Thanks for expanding. However, I would appreciate precise examples of what you mean.

This is a Shakespearean sonnet - as such you will find that every line has an exact syllable count (10) and an exact meter (iambic). More words or fewer words would obviously not fit in with this scheme. 'Flipping' words about may be possible - maybe you could give one example of where this seems like a good idea.

Cheers.

Steve

Comment from Alan K Pease

Excellent

Perhaps the bridegroom does wait to cross this bridge of marriage with some trepidation. A lovely sonnet full of metaphor leading us along its path. I wish I had another six.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015

Alan, thanks for the kind words and the virtual six.

Steve

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi, Steve...

_ Open-ended resolution is interesting.
_ This can be interpreted in many different ways.
_ Especially for having faith in faith itself.
_ Good entry. Good luck in the contest.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)


_ Thanks so much, appreciate your r/r. (*>*)

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015

Thanks for reviewing.

Steve

Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

Crossing the abyss of life requires more than just a strong rope of faith but incredibly good balance. A helping hand certainly helps, whether it be that of a loving woman or a benign god, both or either of which might be suggested in your closing couplet. As your poem suggests, it can sometimes be a game of snakes and ladders. Nice wordplay in 'I their game' (eye their game) and in those internal 'gulls' that make fools of us all with their screeching. The sonnet form is perfectly executed in terms of rhyme and iambic pentameter, with an effective pivot in the third.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015

Tony, thanks for the thoughtful review.

Steve

Comment from Look4depth

Excellent

The screeching gulls of doubt, that's a great line!

A thousand craftsmen could never manufacture such a rope! I love it! The rope that saves you from the sea of doubt!

Great job!

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015

Thanks for the kind words.

Steve

Comment from Tomes Johnston

Exceptional

This poem sonnet creates strong and vivid mental images for me. I can't help seeing Indiana Jones making that leap of faith in his quest for the Holy Grail. This is a very strong poem indeed. Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015

Thanks, Tomes, for the warm review and the six stars.

Steve

reply by Tomes Johnston on 06-Jun-2015

My pleasure

Comment from Patrick G Cox

Excellent

Hi kiwisteveh

That first step in faith is always the hardest, but once begun is always going to throw up challenges, hardships and rewards. Neatly expressed in your poem.

As the Chinese saying is - a journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.

Patrick

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015

Thanks, Patrick.

Steve