The Argentine Tango
Two lover's...29 total reviews
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Interesting little dance that tells quite a story as your tale, and Dancing With the Stars, both depict very nicely. Easy to follow story line here too.
reply by the author on 24-May-2015
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Interesting little dance that tells quite a story as your tale, and Dancing With the Stars, both depict very nicely. Easy to follow story line here too.
Comment Written 24-May-2015
reply by the author on 24-May-2015
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My wife and I enjoy watching DWTS, especially the tangos.
John
Comment from Gloria ....
Ah, John. You have written another haibun and I'm glad you have.
The imagery of the setting and people is magnificently clear. The dialogue works well, and yes dialogue is perfectly acceptable in haibun.
It's romantic, moody and I love it lots.
Nicely done, my friend.
Gloria
reply by the author on 24-May-2015
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Ah, John. You have written another haibun and I'm glad you have.
The imagery of the setting and people is magnificently clear. The dialogue works well, and yes dialogue is perfectly acceptable in haibun.
It's romantic, moody and I love it lots.
Nicely done, my friend.
Gloria
Comment Written 24-May-2015
reply by the author on 24-May-2015
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Thank you Gloria. I love your reviews, always so encouraging!
Thank you again. John
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi John,
I'd say more than just an attempt at a Hailbun... you took me into the scene and you gave it your take... I really liked it... and to tell you the truth in another life, I would have done everything I could have to embrace the art of dance... to watch dance in all of its forms... whether that be partnered or individually performed goes straight to the core of emotion... much like all arts that are mastered... here you have mixed the two of my favorites... one in which I attempt and the other I just have to watch and totally admire.
So I have to say... great prose and poetry Brother... both touched something in me... and that 's the point... yes, yes... I will marry you! Yeah, just joking... but you get what I mean... smile)))))))))... well done, a great construction and one of my favorite forms of poetry...and yet I have never attempted one... go figure?
With our thoughts we create,
the tempo to the mood,
James.
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
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Hi John,
I'd say more than just an attempt at a Hailbun... you took me into the scene and you gave it your take... I really liked it... and to tell you the truth in another life, I would have done everything I could have to embrace the art of dance... to watch dance in all of its forms... whether that be partnered or individually performed goes straight to the core of emotion... much like all arts that are mastered... here you have mixed the two of my favorites... one in which I attempt and the other I just have to watch and totally admire.
So I have to say... great prose and poetry Brother... both touched something in me... and that 's the point... yes, yes... I will marry you! Yeah, just joking... but you get what I mean... smile)))))))))... well done, a great construction and one of my favorite forms of poetry...and yet I have never attempted one... go figure?
With our thoughts we create,
the tempo to the mood,
James.
Comment Written 23-May-2015
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
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Jumbo... Phew had me worried I'd have to divorce my wife.
Thanks brother for a great review.
John
Comment from sibhus
Excellent details, and with you descriptive sentences you have infused this lines with the sense of the movements of the Tango. This is a very good attempt at a haibun, I would even say that it is far more than an attempt, and is in fact a very good haibun.
reply by the author on 23-May-2015
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Excellent details, and with you descriptive sentences you have infused this lines with the sense of the movements of the Tango. This is a very good attempt at a haibun, I would even say that it is far more than an attempt, and is in fact a very good haibun.
Comment Written 23-May-2015
reply by the author on 23-May-2015
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Thank you very much for the encouraging review. John
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your story. It has the short, quick flow like the tango, then comes back to longer "moves." It is like what little I know about the tango. I cannot comment on the halibun since that is new to me Good choice of artwork. I see no changes. Good job and thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 23-May-2015
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I enjoyed your story. It has the short, quick flow like the tango, then comes back to longer "moves." It is like what little I know about the tango. I cannot comment on the halibun since that is new to me Good choice of artwork. I see no changes. Good job and thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 23-May-2015
reply by the author on 23-May-2015
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Thank you very much for the honest and encouraging review, John
Comment from Sasha
There is a slight overuse of the word 'like' but other than that you did a great job with this. The haibun is one of my favorite forms. I enjoyed this immensely, sorry I am out of 6's or I would give you one.
reply by the author on 23-May-2015
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There is a slight overuse of the word 'like' but other than that you did a great job with this. The haibun is one of my favorite forms. I enjoyed this immensely, sorry I am out of 6's or I would give you one.
Comment Written 23-May-2015
reply by the author on 23-May-2015
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I'll go back and check the "like"... I didn't pick up on that.
Thanks for the great review. John
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Great photo and very good story.
-I enjoyed the passion of the dance, the short descriptive phrases, much like the movements of the dance.
-The reader feels the closeness of the couple and wonders: is there more to their relationship than the dance because many times, it can appear that way.
-Good haiku (I had to look up haibun; it would be helpful to have that in author notes for those who don't know what it is.)
-I wasn't sure what to expect at the end, but the proposal was a surprise.
reply by the author on 23-May-2015
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-Great photo and very good story.
-I enjoyed the passion of the dance, the short descriptive phrases, much like the movements of the dance.
-The reader feels the closeness of the couple and wonders: is there more to their relationship than the dance because many times, it can appear that way.
-Good haiku (I had to look up haibun; it would be helpful to have that in author notes for those who don't know what it is.)
-I wasn't sure what to expect at the end, but the proposal was a surprise.
Comment Written 23-May-2015
reply by the author on 23-May-2015
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Thank you respa for the great review.
John
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You are very welcome.
Comment from barkingdog
The poem works very well with the prose which paints a perfect picture of a delightfully romantic evening, leading to a proposal.
It's always nice to try a new form, John. It sounds good to me. :) e
reply by the author on 23-May-2015
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The poem works very well with the prose which paints a perfect picture of a delightfully romantic evening, leading to a proposal.
It's always nice to try a new form, John. It sounds good to me. :) e
Comment Written 23-May-2015
reply by the author on 23-May-2015
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Thank you Ellen for taking the time to read and review this piece. John
Comment from jpduck
You describe this as 'another attempt at haibun'. Well, here's my two-penn'orth. It's a great deal more than an 'attempt'. It's what haibun should be. Many congratulations.
Adrian
reply by the author on 23-May-2015
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You describe this as 'another attempt at haibun'. Well, here's my two-penn'orth. It's a great deal more than an 'attempt'. It's what haibun should be. Many congratulations.
Adrian
Comment Written 23-May-2015
reply by the author on 23-May-2015
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Wow... Awesome. Thank you very much for those encouraging words. John
Comment from padumachitta
Hi. I am never sure with these haibun. I know there are rules, but I can never get it right.
So, I review this as a piece of prose. I enjoyed the images, the wee haiku in the middle to deepen the atmosphere and the ending. It was a lovely marriage proposal, one would dream of.
padumachitta
reply by the author on 23-May-2015
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Hi. I am never sure with these haibun. I know there are rules, but I can never get it right.
So, I review this as a piece of prose. I enjoyed the images, the wee haiku in the middle to deepen the atmosphere and the ending. It was a lovely marriage proposal, one would dream of.
padumachitta
Comment Written 23-May-2015
reply by the author on 23-May-2015
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Thank you very much, P.
always appreciated. John
