Reviews from

When Blood Collides

Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "The Lull Between Storms"
A family's love is tested.

21 total reviews 
Comment from Sasha
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You leave me wondering what the crisis was and what fueled the anger and resentment between your mother and Dee. I anxiously look forward to the next chapter, hoping you will provide answers to my questions.

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2015


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
    Absolutely, sasha. You won't believe the crisis. It involves murder!
Comment from Muffins
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I enjoyed the humor sprinkled throughout this piece, especially the part about your son-in-law and the pug, priceless. Plenty is packed into this section and it doesn't feel forced. When normal stuff happens and a long explanation is not needed. Sometimes life cruises on calm, uneventful waters than a storm hit as your last sentence indicated.

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2015


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
    Thanks, Muffins. Readers need a breather too.
Comment from Dean Kuch
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What breed is Bugsy? I'm assuming he is a pug based on your photo.

Anyhow, I digress...

Well, my suspicions were confirmed, old Bugsy is indeed a pug. That's what happens when you write reviews as you go. I feel it gives me the best opportunity to adequately convey my opinions of the story to the author, however.

So, Mr. Pugsley's not better looking than Jeff, you say? Wow, no offense intended, butt he must have been dog-ugly! Ugh... Heh-heh-heh

Well, Shari, based upon your title and climactic ending to this chapter, I sense trouble is coming, and a storm looms on the horizon in the form of some earth-shattering crisis. Geesh, how perceptive am I, huh?

Good story with a cliff-hanger ending...~Dean






 Comment Written 18-Mar-2015


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
    LOL. Love the review as you go. I always felt Jeff liked pugs because then he wasn't the ugly one Nichole's life anymore. Wish I dared post a picture. But as it is, my daughter would disown if she knew I'd written about her.
reply by Dean Kuch on 18-Mar-2015
    Well, let's not tell her then, shall we? LOL

    Great work, Spit...~Dean
Comment from sibhus
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Good chapter there, Spitfire. Loved the bits of humor infused throughout this piece, like the pug looked better than the boyfriend, ha, ha. Smooth flow that makes for an enjoyable read, and the characters are flawed yet likeable. Good stuff there, Spitfire. If you get a chance check out my latest, in my port, Bad Medicine.

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2015


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
    Thanks, husky. I did check out your story and really liked it. You already have my vote. :-)
Comment from Louise Michelle
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Hi Shari,

That's a great line comparing the pug to Jeff.

Well, Mom got her wish. I'm sure her spirit attended the wedding.

Hugs,
Lou

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2015


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
    Thanks, Lou. I'm sure her spirit came through. :-)

Comment from Domino 2
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What's this in 'previously' - a parent who doesn't like their child's choice of a partner? Unheard of. LOL.

Mind you, you SEEM to accept Christopher's choice of a new partner, and it's a shame Mom passed away before the wedding.

This is my concentration problem with prose - even shortish like this - I have to keep scrolling back and forth to remind myself who is who, and that's no fault of your writing - it just gets me frustrated and takes ages to get through something with more than two characters. D'OH!

I'd have 'emotional issues' if I looked like a 'pug', though some have inferred I DO. ;-)

It through me when Mom arrived back in the story, so maybe consider deleting the confusing (to me anyway) reference to her dying earlier.

With respect, I find this post rather flat and 'matter of fact' than your usual humorous and more 'action' posts, but it's still very well-written.

JEEZ! That took me about twenty minutes - see why I rarely review prose? :-)

Cheers, Ray xx





 Comment Written 18-Mar-2015


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
    I halved this just for you. The action comes next. I'll look again at the reference to death. LOL It takes me twenty minutes to figure out what to say about a poem/ Many times I have to read him over and over and still don't get it as is the case with Glasstruth. Congrats on winning the kid's poem. Shows how much I know!
Comment from alexisleech
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I love the reference to the pug almost making Jeff look handsome! I'm trying to imagine what it would be like having a parent living with my husband and I until they pass away, and can imagine that it's very hard at times. I looked after my dad in his nineties, but not full time. I suppose a lot depends on the parent, and how much privacy everyone has.

I look forward to reading on.

Alexis x

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2015


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
    Thanks, Alex. A lot of things happened to make my mother move out. Maybe when I write about it, I can get rid of my guilt. Sigh...
Comment from Curly Girly
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This is good, clear, short, concise writing. I found it slightly too brief though. However, you managed to fit a lot of information into a small number of words.
You wrote:
after being hurt by Sandi, his roommate for three years.
Suggest:
after being hurt by Sandi, his roommate OF three years.

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2015


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
    Thanks for you suggestion which I incorporated. The next part was so long, that I decided to separate it. I don't like long reads even when they pay more than a dollar. I can't afford that without spending every day on reviews. Sigh... Hope you'll follow the next chapter to be posted on Friday.
Comment from Eigle Rull
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This was very well told as all of your writing is. I'm happy things are going well between you and your mom. I enjoyed the part where you compared the Pug to Jeff. HA! It was cute. This is interesting and held my attention, as always. Very nicely done, my friend.

Always with respect,

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2015


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
    Thanks, Eigle. :-)
Comment from thomdble
Excellent
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You keep me wanting more. It's like reading my sister's diary when I was a kid. Loved it. You have a very good storyline going and like all really good stories you have the reader wanting more. Thanks and keep writing,

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 Comment Written 18-Mar-2015


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2015
    Thanks, thomdble. Hope you'll continue to follow.